Lockdown 2.0, Days 103 & 104

 The last 2 days have been very busy which I didn't really expect - I'm feeling happy and very tired.

Even though we are allowed to travel a little further now and see more people, I wasn't keen on rushing out on the first day, I figured it would be crazy out there with everyone going new places. But then I though about Mum and Dad having been alone so long, and it felt important to see them as soon as possible. I spent the morning doing housework and photo work and proofreading, and had a Telehealth gynaecology appointment as follow up to my hospital trip a few months ago. We decided the best course of action from here was to book me in for a hysteroscopy and a D&C. I rang Mum and arranged to meet at Lillydale Lake - they were very excited at the plan. I went by myself, and we sat in chairs away from everyone else (there were so many cars in the carpark, it made me feel a little anxious - most people were jogging, or walking their dogs, and the grassy areas there are so big that we were able to sit quite a way from any other people. There were no large groups there, people mainly in 2s and 3s). We had some lunch and a snack and a great chat. We were swooped by a bird a few times - we each got hit in the head at least once (Mum about 3 times) so we moved our chairs away from the tree we were near. It didn't hurt us, it was just a bit of a shock each time. It was great to see my parents and a relief to see that Dad is getting around ok, even though he's obviously a bit slower and less robust than he was previously.

I headed home via the post office, and hung out with the kids a bit when a friend rang to say his son really wanted to see Millie and could we meet them at the Yarra Glen park. Amelie was very keen, and I wanted to see his wife who is my very good friend and who also has been unwell this year. So the girls and I went to the park, it wasn't crowded at all which I was relieved about (it was after 5). Great to see my friend in person after so many months and have a chat with her. The kids had a great play, Caitlin talked to us for a while and took one of the kids up to the skate park, and went and got our fish and chips for dinner. It was sunny by this stage (had been grey when I was with Mum and Dad) and not too cold, until the sun went behind the mountain then we headed home.

Back home we ate then went for a quick walk around the dam, I had a bath because I was pretty tired (and cold, there was a pretty icy wind when we were walking)

Today I didn't feel motivated to be very active so spent several hours working on photo stuff, which was quite productive. I had a Zoom meeting with my homeschool group in the afternoon, great as always to talk to my friends, the girls popped in and out to say hello as well. I had a call from Eastern Health - Healesville Hospital is opening it's lists next week for the first time since mid-March, so I was able to be booked in for my procedure next Tuesday morning - really soon and unexpected, but I am happy that it will be done quickly, and I'm very pleased that I don't have to go to Box Hill hospital.

I went to Healesville to do the shopping - the bulk food shop, the greengrocers, Coles, the library, and Aldi, then drove over to Yarra Junction to pick up my milk - now that we can travel 25km I can go and get it myself rather than the farmer bringing it over to Healesville. I enjoyed the drive and it was great to listen to my audio book. I got home and was exhausted - ate the soup I'd put on to cook this morning then had a quiet evening in bed reading and playing games. The girls came in to chat and look at the Peregrine Falcon for a while.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 79 and 80

 I'm feeling much better tonight, the last 2 days have been a bit easier than most of the last week. I'm not even sure what's changed, just feeling less lethargic - although still happy spending lots of time taking it easy.

Yesterday I went into Yarra Glen to the post office and the IGA, got myself some fish and chips and sat in the car at the lookout and read my book for a while - it was great to have a bit of time to myself. It was cold and wet and it was really interesting to watch the clouds move in across the mountains.

Today we had a Zoom meeting with my brother, sister and parents to celebrate Dad finishing his chemo. He looked pretty well and it was a fun get together. The kids were all in and out and even though our internet was a bit dodgy it was great to see everyone. We also had a cake for Caitlin's birthday which is coming up - I bought a pavlova case and she decorated it this morning. 

Apart from that we've been for a few walks, done our yoga, tidied up the lounge room, had a few phone calls with friends and family, read books, tried to keep warm (there was snow on the mountains around us in the last day and a half), watched a bit of tv, worked on my photos a bit.

Tomorrow the government is announcing the next steps in the easing of restrictions - it's a bit exciting. I know there won't be much of a change, but even little bits will be a relief. And either way, it feels like it's just a bit closer to the end of restrictions, even if they are a fair way off.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 56, 57 and 58

 I've spent the last few days oscillating between feeling anxious and feeling really flat. A bit disappointing after feeling so good on Tuesday afternoon, but it is what it is and I have let myself feel whatever I needed to at the time. I haven't felt like writing so I allowed myself some time off, I've focussed on doing things that I love and that feel right, and I knew I'd be back eventually. 2 long phone calls with friends today (one who I hadn't talked to for a couple of years) and a text conversation entirely in haiku with another friend really helped - I laughed a lot (especially at the haikus) and relaxed and am feeling more positive now.

Wednesday morning (seems so long ago!) was pretty good, I got a fair bit down around the house and on the computer, and had a long chat to Mum. Caitlin and I went to the post office and called in at the Chocolate Factory to get some more presents for people. I did some research on what was new car options. In the late afternoon Tony took me to Healesville to pick up my car - I chatted to the mechanics about the type of car I might buy and got some useful information. The know the receptionist at the mechanics and we had a long chat before I headed home. On the way I saw a baby masked Lapwing trying to cross the road and I was worried it might get hit so I stopped - there were 2 parents and 4 babies, and the parents were desperately trying to keep the babies from going on the road. When they were on the road they were too little to easily jump back up the gutter to the safety of the grass, so it was pandemonium. One of the babies got knocked over by the slipstream of a car going past, but after a tumble he got up and ran back to his parents and seemed fine. I'd tried to help herd them off the road, then one of the parents decided I was a threat and came at me, so I left them to it (everyone was back on the grass by then and heading away from the road so I think they were safe). The babies were so cute and their fluffy round bodies were backlit by the sun - I'm so happy that I saw it. 

I went for a late, brisk walk when I got home and saw the full moon rising over the mountains - very cool! I did more car research after dinner and suddenly felt completely overwhelmed and anxious, so I went to bed. I was awake for hours in the night (Winky woke me up to tell me she'd caught a mouse, and I couldn't quieten my mind enough to get back to sleep). After a while I got up and did some tidying in the kitchen, and some writing, and some photography work, then played games on my phone for a bit and eventually settled back into bed and to sleep. I woke later than usual and my anxiety was there but muted, and I kind of fell into a day of feeling bleugh. I was just over the whole lockdown thing, I am missing my friends, I don't think I can handle another week and a half of stage 4 but I have to really, there's no other option, and I don't think Stage 3 will be much different for us anyway... It just all felt too hard and I know the kids are finding it hard too so I was also feeling overwhelmed by their worries about it. I had a good chat with a friend which helped calm me a little. I did some more work on cleaning out the wardrobe in my room, and actually felt like I made some progress. In the afternoon the kids and I played Dixit which was fun - everyone is really emotional so there was lots of laughing and a bit of tears as well. I talked to Mum - Dad had chemo in the morning so it was good to get an update (he's feeling ok, tired, a bit grumpy. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it all but I do like talking to them regularly). I did some of my course and some photo work and headed to bed fairly early.

I slept fitfully so woke up still pretty tired today, although it was nice not to be up for hours. I still felt flat but the anxiety had mainly gone. I caught up on some dishes, chatted to Amelie and Liam, then chatted to a friend on the phone while I weeded the garden. I worked a bit more in the bedroom, then had a wonderful 2 hour chat to an old friend. Caitlin and Liam went for a bike ride and started to help Amelie learn to ride Liam's old bike. Throughout the day I was sending and receiving haikus to a friend and they really made me laugh and helped to ground me. I felt much much better this afternoon and went for a mid-length walk and listened to my audio book. Luna ran off as we rounded the dam, and bailed up the big (BIG!!) male kangaroo over near the creek. I went over to try to distract her but I was pretty scared of him and he looked like he could head for me at any moment. They were at a standoff for a while then he charged her - he had his front claws out and if he'd caught her it would have been nasty. She avoided him then chased him into the dam - I'd already rung Tony and he and Caitlin drove down in the vineyard ute to get her - usually she can be distracted by the car. She reluctantly got in and was a bit sheepish when everyone was angry at her - but once back in the yard she was staring intently at the roos in the vines like she was ready to go again... I cooked dinner and then had a bath and a glass of wine, Tony watched the Collingwood game. I'm feeling pretty relaxed now although I have a headache so looking forward to sleep and a new day tomorrow.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 37

 I didn't sleep well (this time I got up and tended the fire, then made some t-shirt yarn.  It was a more interesting way to pass the time than lying in bed trying to get to sleep, and I was pretty relaxed by the time I went back) - but I did feel much better. Today my attitude was much more - well if things are going to be bad in the future, I might as well enjoy the present, spend as much time with the kids as I can, doing things we love, looking after myself and my family - so I got on with being happy in the now, and I had a really good day.

Amelie and I played several rounds of Red 7s - we've played before but she didn't remember it, she really enjoyed it this time. Liam joined us for a while. In the late morning all the kids and I went for a walk. We headed over to Houghtons Lane. It was cloudy but not too cold. My hip was hurting a bit and my back still a little tender, so I turned back soon after we got to the road, and the kids kept going (the girls went all the way to the end, and Amelie climbed the gorgeous big gum tree, Liam came back a bit earlier once he'd had enough). 

A friend rang me in the morning with a computer question then we chatted for a while. After lunch I had a lovely long Facetime call with a a friend who I hadn't talked to in ages - it was great to catch up. Later in the afternoon we had a Zoom call with my sister and her kids - we played cards with my nephew, watched my niece open her birthday present from us, and chatted to my sister for her own birthday. I think I'll try to do that a bit more often. I then had a friend call by the front gate on his way home, to drop off  some groceries that I hadn't been able to get in Healesville or Yarra Glen. Nice to have a brief, in-person contact to round out a very social day by lockdown standards!

Tony brought home lots of parcels from the post office - including some stickers and room decorations that Caitlin had ordered online, a care package for her from a friend, and a big box books from the library for me - very exciting! (Our library is sending out holds to members, and filling the box with other books based on our borrowing history. I got lots of fantasy novels and some historical fiction - most of them books I haven't heard of before so I'm looking forward to exploring them).

We got takeaway pizza and pasta from Yarra Glen and watched more of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm really enjoying it - and it's a fairly easy show to just watch bits of, although the kids tell me it's even better when watched in order. After dinner I had my Friday date with myself - I had a big bowl of ice-cream, Baileys and nutella and read my book in my room for an hour. It was quite blissful.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 24

Just under 400 cases today. It’s alarming the first reaction I have is one of relief. It’s still so high, but it’s not six or  seven hundred, so I feel relieved and then disheartened. It’s a long way back to normal from here.

I slept badly (had Amelie and the cat in my space for most of the night) but woke up feeling pretty good. I had some more alarming bleeding but talked to the doctor and she has a bit of a plan for going forward so I feel like there might be an end to this at some point. I’m working on the emotional side of it - trying to let go of control a bit and relax into what is actually happening in my life and hopefully that will help. 

I was able to do a bit more today, a bit of work outside and organising a few things inside. Still spent a lot of time on the couch, watching tv with the girls, or on my bed chatting on the phone to mum and to a friend. Tony was home (because it’s Saturday) and it was nice to have him around to chat to as well. My mood was good for most of the day then I crashed in the late afternoon. Had a shower then did some writing and photo stuff in bed. I feel a bit better now, hoping I get a good night’s sleep.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 18

Another not so great day. Can’t remember the exact number of cases but it was bad and there were 10 deaths. It feels like it’s never going to improve. So glad we are living out here where we do but I know that doesn’t make us immune. I’m in awe of the way Dan Andrews and Brett Sutton keeO turning up every day, answering questions and trying tondo the best thing.

I really wasn’t well today. I’m having a severely heavy period and spent today on the couch - walking around too much gave me head spins. I browsed the internet and worked on my photos and had a pretty relaxing day. In the afternoon we had a Zoom catch up with some of Tony's cousins which was fun. Tonight we watched the the first heat of this year’s Australian Ninja Warrior. So good! And exciting to know several of the competitors.

Lego Exhibition

Yesterday we went to see the Brickman Wonders of the World Lego Exhibition at Melbourne Museum. I'd been planning to take the kids since I first heard about it sometime in March, though I kept putting off buying tickets because I couldn't figure out a good time to go. The exhibit finishes this Sunday so yesterday turned out to be the only remaining day that we could make it - I've done the same with many of the visiting exhibitions (and other activities) - either scraped in during the last week, or missed it altogether. I don't like to book things in too far ahead in case our plans change, which does sometimes mean missing out. I might try to book a few things and work around them and see how that works.

Anyway - I'd seen a similar exhibition at CentrePoint Tower in Sydney, many many years ago (when I was perhaps 10 or 12, with Mum and my siblings) and I LOVED it and have always wanted to go again. I didn't know if the kids would be as excited as I was - from the first moment they saw the Empire State Building in the foyer of the museum, they were bouncing with excitement and so keen to see more.

We all loved the exhibition and were amazed at the skill of the builders involved and detail of every sculpture. The sculptures themselves were incredibly true to the original, and many of them had little scenes set up around them of people enjoying the site - some of those details were hilarious, and it was all interesting. I spent most of the 2 hours saying to the kids 'hey, did you see the guy over here who is doing ...' and we all pointed out lots of fun and interesting details to each other.

There were buildings (ancient and modern) and paintings, sculptures, natural formations, vehicles, metro maps, jewels and crowns - all magnificent. It was also fun to count how many of them we'd actually been to or seen in real life (12 for me, 5 for Liam and Caitlin. None for Millie which has added to her desire to go somewhere overseas). My favourite was definitely the Titanic, there was so much going on in the set up and the boat design was so intricate and realistic.

Many of the sculptures were surrounded by a moat of lego which we were able to use to build our own designs. These were a lot of fun, we made cars and pyramids and statues and towers. We raced our cars down a ramp put there for that purpose - Liam spent a lot of time engineering his car to make it structurally robust - lots of trial and error and then thinking about how to counteract each new problem. He was pretty impressed with his final product, and amusedly annoyed when Caitlin's vehicle of 2 big wheels on an axle was faster than his car.

As we made our way around we were looking for a particular lego figurine - there was a competition to count how many times he appeared throughout the exhibit, then you can enter your answer online and potentially win a prize. This added another whole level of interest to each sculpture and helped us really look at every aspect of the scene.

There were also tables set up with white flat squares of lego, and lots of coloured one by one blocks, where everyone could make their own design and put it on display on the wall. I tried to make a star and didn't get anywhere (although my statue of David was quite cool), the kids had a lot more success at designing something they were happy with.

Millie's, Liam's and Caitlin's designs

The Flying Scotsman, made from lego. Steam engines and lego combined - super exciting for me!

We explored for 2 hours (although it was hot in there and Caitlin and I started to feel a bit overwhelmed) and loved it all, we could have stayed longer. We made our way out through the shop and bought some road bases to use with our own lego, as we don't have any and this was something that all 3 kids were happy to get.

Upstairs we met up with my Mum and Dad, and my sister's son who they were looking after for the day. We all went in to the new Children's Gallery in the museum - we hadn't seen it before and the kids all loved it. Mum and Dad and I had a coffee while the 4 kids explored, then the kids joined us for something to eat and then we all had a bit more of a play and headed home. It was very cool to be able to combine our trip in to the museum with the kids seeing their cousin and grandparents.

The traffic was heavy though flowing on the way home (leaving just before 5pm was always risky) - we got home in about an hour 20 which wasn't too bad. We grabbed a hot chicken and bread from the IGA and ate that at the hall before going in to karate - Tony came and picked Millie up as she didn't want to do karate that night. Karate was fun and challenging as usual, afterwards we chatted to one of the Sempeis about his recent trip to Europe and then came home to finish our dinner and put the animals to bed and get to bed as quickly as possible ourselves - it was a cold night and we were very grateful for our fire!

Cool learning and connections

I'm confident that learning happens for each of us, every day, often in ways that aren't obvious at the time. Some days though, the learning seems to be jumping out at us and we are all making connections and it's like we can feel our learning jumping ahead.

In the last couple of days there have been lots of little incidents of delight where people expanded their knowledge or understanding of the world.

LiAM and a friend were outside after the rain and saw water running from the driveway, so they followed it all the way to the bottom of the hill and then saw more water running to that point from the other direction, and followed it up the hill to the top of the dam. On the way they saw a blue tongue lizard, and discovered lots about waterways.

Millie was going through all the odd numbers (1 is odd, 2 isn't, 3 is odd, 4 isn't...) and on the way discovered that the digits repeat through each decade of numbers - so 0 is the same as 10, and 20, and 30, and 1 is the same as 11, and 21, and 31, and 2 is the same as 12, and 22.... She's come back to it several times and keeps exploring the idea further and finding it holds no matter how far she counts. She's quite excited about it.

Caitlin has been practicing doing handstands on a raised surface like the couch - so feet starting on the floor, then hands on the couch and legs up - it was pretty tricky at first and she kept practicing and it didn't take long for her to get it. She also learnt some cool ways to flip into the foam pit at Gravity Zone Trampoline centre yesterday, a round off and some other aerials that she couldn't do before - doing them into the pit gave her more support and flexibility so it won't be long until she can do them on the ground.

Watching BTN yesterday there was an article about a whole bunch of new words being added to the Australian National Dictionary. I was interested in the words that had been added and we chatted about some of them, and I was pleased to hear about the dictionary and didn't think I'd heard of it before (or not in a way that was memorable). About an hour later I was reading a book called 'The Bush and the Never Never' - I had picked it up at the library that afternoon, partly because we've just been to the Never Never, and partly because it was written by a man whose name was almost exactly the same as one of my uncles. I was already feeling a bit weird because that same uncle had rung me up this afternoon (after I'd borrowed the book) - and we'd had a great chat about our trip and he was saying how much he'd learnt about Australia by reading my blog, and I was talking about things I'd learned too. On the 2nd or 3rd page of the book the author was talking about the meaning of the 'bush' in Australia, and that words related to the bush take up more room than any other in the Australian National Dictionary. A dictionary which I now know something about because of the kids' news program, and one that I am going to find out more about because 2 mentions of it in one hour has made a fun connection that I want to explore further.

Going away and feeling better

My energy returned slowly after my day of rest, and 5 days up at Mum and Dad's helped me restore my emotional energy a little. They were away, so we had the house to ourselves and shared with our friends who brought their caravan up and spent the days with us. The kids had a wonderful time, playing iPads, lego, zoo animals, the piano, swimming, watching movies, playing hide and seek and other games they made up that involved toys and stairs and upstairs and downstairs, bike and scooter riding, card games, talking and thinking and learning and laughing. The adults also had a great time, helping with all of the above, and doing puzzles and reading and chatting and relaxing. It was perfect timing for a low key trip away, and I felt much better once we got back.

Since then we've had a few quiet days at home, one of them with Tony here all day which was wonderful (he's still been working long hours, nearly every day). We had a really busy day yesterday, with all 3 kids visiting the dentist (teeth all doing well), then meeting friends at the museum for a very fun afternoon, then visiting my sister and her family before they go to England next Monday. The kids had a great time playing with their cousin - who calls Caitlin 'Cake', and the other 2 'more Cake' (possibly some combination of Caitlin and cousin?) - they love playing duplo and cars and trains with him, and being bossed around by a 2 year old. He is pretty cute. Once we left the kids all voted for Subway for dinner (I had been thinking we'd go to McDonalds, but without hesitation they all asked for Subway) - it takes us ages to order by the time 4 of us decided what we want and how many drinks etc, but it was tasty and fun and everyone was happy with their order.

Other things we've got up to in the last several days
- LiAM and I have played cards a lot - it was funny, a few times I started to suggest that he play a different card to the one he chose - then remembered that his strategic understanding of the game is as good (or probably better) than mine, so I kept quiet, and sure enough, he ended up winning doing things his way. He can think a long way ahead in a game and really understands what all the moves mean
-Tony took Amelie to McDonalds on his day off, she was so thrilled to have some time alone with him
-LiAM and I went for a walk around the dam and explored plants and animals and mud and animal tracks, and talked about all sorts of things
- we've watched lots of Heartland, which has sparked discussion about childcare, parenting practices, relationships, horses, jobs, responsibility, friendship, trust, script writing, decision making
- LiAM has played a lot with his Skylander figures, making up a game for them to play with each other and creating a score sheet for them
- More and more often LiAM is saying 'does this say '....'?' instead of asking 'what does this say?' when he sees text on screen or on a sign
- Caitlin has been helping Tony make some wine with some of the local grapes that weren't picked for use this year
- We've been reading random fact books and learning all sorts of interesting trivia
- lots of talk still about planets, dwarf planets and star constellation
- Caitlin had a sleepover with a friend, and the rest of us visited other friends for the afternoon, the girls played dress ups and did puzzles, the boys played playstation games, and the adults chatted
- we're going lots of planning for our big trip which is coming up rather fast

A very hot Friday

Yesterday was hot - exceedingly and unexpectedly so. The forecast was in the low 30s, although apparently that was revised up by about 9 degrees overnight! It got hot early and the temperature kept climbing. By the middle of the afternoon I didn't feel motivated to do anything, I lay on my bed playing Hungry Babies for a while which was fun and relaxing. I was frustrated though that I felt no motivation - until I went out and got in the car and the thermometer said 39 degrees - it means our house would have been sitting in the low 30s and I do find it hard to do much in those conditions - our house gets very stuffy with all the windows closed and usually on a day that was going to get that hot I'd plan to be out of there by 2 or 3pm at the latest.

As it was we left at 4 and it was much more pleasant in the car. I dropped LiAM off at K's house for a trip to the pool and then an evening playing video games, I dropped Amelie off at E's house for an afternoon of unicorn games, Wii games and a zombie apocalypse game (and a run under the sprinkler), and I took Caitlin to acting. While she was there I got a new screen protector on the iPad (I can stop hassling everyone about being careful with it now), did some grocery shopping and hung out in Ringwood library for a while, borrowing books and DVDs and reading my book for a lovely half an hour. While I was in the shopping centre apparently there was a storm - the ground was wet when I came out and I couldn't figure out why, since it was still hot and sunny, and I found out later there'd been a storm and then it had cleared to become more hot and humid.

After we all got home it was still warm outside but pleasant enough for Amelie and I to go and lie on the trampoline and look for patterns in the stars. She can recognise the Southern Cross now, and the Pointers, and we discussed the difference between planets and stars, and why our sun looks so much brighter than the planets, and why we share our sun with other planets, and how far away various stars might be, and what makes one star brighter than another, and whether the brightest of the pointers might be the Second Star from one of the Tinkerbell movies, and whether it's ok to share your wish when you wish on a shooting star, and whether the moving lights we could see in the sky were aeroplanes or satellites... It was a lot of fun.

Earlier in the day
- my sister came to visit and the kids showed T the chickens (he loved them and kept wanting to go out to see them again) and played lego and cars with him, Caitlin and F played the knock-Buzz-off-the-wall game, F and I had a good chat, and we took T over near the shed to look at the tractor and the grape picker (he was thrilled)
- Amelie and LiAM read the latest Guinness World Records book, which has a special section on gaming records
- Caitlin did some more painting - she drew a Manga style girl and painted her, I was impressed. She wasn't happy with how the mouth turned out - for her first attempt at painting a person it was amazing
- We did some Harry Potter quizzes, including a very tricky 'who said this quote' quiz, which was hard but we got most of them
- I did some more geography quizzes
- Caitlin fixed our little fan that sprays water and was able to help cool everyone down

The forecast for the next week is for every day to be 30 or above, with some high 30s later in the week. Normally I don't mind hot weather (although it is a challenge to keep our house cool enough to hang out it) but the fact that it's now March makes this seem really bizarre and a bit harder to cope with. The leaves on the vines are turning yellow and red - the weather is supposed to be getting cooler, not hotter... We're going up to Yea for a few days next week, I wonder if it will be cooler or hotter up there (could go either way).

Trip to Yea

I woke early yesterday after a restless night of moving between beds (we ended up with too many people in our bed) so I had a bit of time to myself in the morning on the computer. When Amelie woke up she joined me on the couch and we played Hungry Babies for a while, I love playing and she loves watching so it is fun, and we spend a lot of time looking at the pictures of the baby animals too and discussing their names, whether their pictures are accurate, what those type of animals really do in the wild and so on.

I woke LiAM and Caitlin at 10 as we were leaving at 11 to go to my Mum's to see my godmother. We have been in contact on an off, but hadn't seen each other since Caitlin's baptism at the end of 2004, so it's 11 years since we'd properly caught up. And she hadn't met any of my kids, apart from a 3 month old Caitlin (Caitlin is somewhat different now compared to then!).

While we were getting ready LiAM and Amelie played Lego Marvel Superheroes. Caitlin was out of the yoghurt she's been enjoying so I made her some homemade ice cream - frozen bananas, frozen raspberries and cream - a very tasty fruity breakfast. We left just after 11 and stopped for petrol and at the library and were in Yea by 12.10, I'd been aiming for 12 so was pretty happy with that.

Amelie went upstairs to play with the plastic zoo animals, LiAM and Grandad looked at a book of international coins and tried to identify the coins Dad had given LiAM (they found a few of them), Caitlin practiced her Manga drawing and I played the piano. My Godmother, A, and her husband, S, arrived in time for BBQ lunch and it was so great to see them. They chatted lots to the kids and everyone got along well. Caitlin and LiAM helped Mum and I get the table ready for lunch and we ate out on the back deck, with the 'million dollar views' as S kept saying (they hadn't visited Mum and Dad's place in Yea before).

After lunch Caitlin did manga drawings by request, and her style is developing quickly. She drew a girl with her hair in 2 buns then decided to do her hair that way herself, then Mum remembered she had hair chopsticks, and a kimono so Caitlin dressed up and looked fantastic.

We all looked at A's photo book of the Camino she did in Spain last year, and discussed the walk and some spanish words and the idea of pilgrimage etc.

After the guests left Dad and I (and the kids on and off) looked at maps and photos of Tasmania - discussing our previous trips and planning for Mum and Dad's upcoming trip (Dad's 70th birthday present). We also found some photos of seals and penguins in a book of Ken Duncans photos, which thrilled Amelie, and Dad brought up the photos of when we were in Venice, as we'd been talking about when LiAM took his first steps. He's pretty thrilled that he started to walk when he was in Italy. The kids had a swim in the spa and Mum and I sat and watched them and did some Pride and Prejudice quizzes on jetpunk. After her swim Amelie played some music on the keyboard upstairs, and LiAM watched some minecraft videos. Mum and I looked at the clothes she bought to take to Tasmania.

We left around 6 and listened to an audio book on the way home - The Dare Game by Jacqueline Wilson. I love the depth and flaws in her characters and the raw emotion that these kids express. We stopped at the IGA to get milk and a frozen pizza for dinner, then home to watch Australia's Got Talent. Tony came home before it was finished, it was nice to be able to sit and watch a bit of TV with him while we ate, and to catch up on our days before he showered and went to bed. Caitlin watched Farmer Wants a Wife and Amelie went into the bedroom to watch Pokemon, LiAM flitted between the 2. Caitlin then wanted to watch a movie and LiAM wanted to play Lego Marvel Superheroes, then decided he was too tired so went to bed and C stayed up and watched her movie, while the rest of us went to bed.

Pool, movie, party

We've had a busy couple of days. On Monday Tony had to work (he originally had the day off, but was asked to work as there was a lot to be done before the grapes start coming in later this week or next week). The kids played the Lego Movie Game in the morning, while I got ready to go out, sorting some clothes to give to my sister and a friend of hers, and a box of old CDs, tapes, videos and discs which can be recycled at a place in Clifton Hill. Millie made up a song and danced to it on the trampoline for me, a beautiful performance about flowers. Caitlin helped me cook pancakes for everyone's lunch before we left.

Around midday we went in to Yarra Glen, dropped some stuff off at the op shop and then went to the library - but the hours have changed so we weren't there at the right time and couldn't return our books/pick up our holds. From there we drove to Fitzroy pool - the kids have asked to go there several times, whenever we drive past it on Alexandra Parade, and so it seemed a perfect place to meet up with my sister today, as she lives not far from there. It was a fair bit cooler than the days we've been swimming lately - in the low 20s rather than the high 30s - but the water was heated and was quite pleasant once we were in. The breeze that was blowing made us all feel pretty cold when we were out of the water, so we stayed under as much as we could and it was beautiful.

The kids and I played in the big pool until F and T arrived - Millie doing lots of underwater swimming, her confidence and skills are increasing every time we go to the pool. T came in the water with Caitlin but found it too cold and wasn't very happy, so we all moved over to the very large, rather warm wading pool. T was in and out, running around the little park next to the pool, and LiAM and Caitlin kept an eye on him. F and I were able to have a good chat while we lay in the pool, and Millie climbed on me and chased me and swam happily around us. L and C went back to the big pool for a while, then returned to us for a bit more floating around, then we all went back into the big pool. Millie went deeper than she'd been before and even tried treading water for a couple of seconds - and then she was tired and hungry and we were all ready to get out.

We drove back and met Tony at Yering - we'd swapped cars because the engine light in my car had been coming on, and I didn't want to drive all the way to Fitzroy in it. He was going to baseball in the evening, and I was going to the Bayswater Outdoor Cinemas, and taking some extra kids, so I needed my car back. The engine light had been on while Tony was driving it - and didn't come on again once I switched back into it. Odd.

We went home, had some tea and a shower and got food and blankets and pillows organised, then headed out again to pick up S and V, and then on to the Outdoor Cinema. We found a spot to park fairly close to the ground, and were able to find a place for our blanket at the back of the area for blankets (in front of all the chairs) and not directly in front of a speaker (which would have been too loud for Millie). The big kids ran around the oval while Millie had a jump on the Frozen jumping castle, then we settled down on our blanket to watch 'Hotel Transylvania 2'. I had only seen bits and pieces of the first (the kids have seen it) and I wasn't expecting much, especially when I saw that Adam Sandler was in it - and I was very pleasantly surprised. I loved it, and found it extremely funny. I laughed, loud, often. The kids all enjoyed it as well. Afterwards they ran around the oval playing tiggy in the dark (it wasn't completely dark, there were spotlights on) and enjoyed that as much as they did the movie. I took the others home, had a bit of a chat to R when I dropped them off, and eventually made it home after 11pm. It took a while to get everyone settled so it was a very late night for me.

Yesterday morning I was still up early as usual, and the others had a bit of a sleep in. Mum and Dad came down and I went for a walk down to the creek with them. Once we got back the others were all awake and playing Toy Story 3 on the playstation.

In the afternoon we all went to a housewarming party at the house of some of Tony's baseball friends. It was a lovely afternoon. LiAM played cricket and jumped on the trampoline with some of the other boys, Millie jumped for a while and then watched a movie, Caitlin jumped, watched some of the movie, chatted to the adults, practiced her cartwheels and bridges. I had some good chats with people and Tony really enjoyed seeing his friends. We got home around 7pm, and S and V came over after that for a sleepover. R and I sat outside chatting until it was dark, then she went home. The boys were playing The Lego Movie game again, and the big girls did some work in making Caitlin's room more private, and then spent time in there chatting. Eventually I took Millie to bed and the other 4 stayed up playing minecraft, Lego Movie and watching movies.

A day out shopping

Caitlin and her friend woke early (around 7) and lay in bed chatting for a while then played Harry Potter - Scene It, then went outside to play on the trampoline. Her Mum came and picked her up around 9.30, by which time my mum was also here, as I had an appointment and she was looking after the kids for the day.

My appointment was at 10.20, and I didn't get called in until about 11.20, which meant a lovely hour in the waiting room reading my book uninterrupted! (Currently reading 'The Girl In Times Square' by Paullina Simons - it's a kind of sequel to Red Leaves, which I enjoyed, and I am really seriously loving this one.) My check up only went for about 5 minutes, so by 11.30 I was out!

I was going to buy some stuff from a fabric shop in Lilydale, but they were closed, so I went to the Salvos op shop instead. A friend met me there, and we decided to go to the Mustard Tree Op Shop where we could also sit and have a coffee. We sat and chatted for ages, not often we get to talk for so long without kids around. Eventually we had a bit of a browse and bought a few things, then went to Not Quite Right (which I always think is like an Op Shop but for food). I grabbed quite a few things from the dairy and freezer section and it only cost $15, it was pretty handy.

From there I went to Lilydale Market Place and got a big plastic tub from the Reject Shop - I need lots more tubs for tidying up the house, and for when we go away later this year, so I'm working on grabbing one whenever I see a good price. I browsed in Spec Savers for a while, trying to work out what I want for my reading glasses. I did an Aldi grocery shop, then headed back to Yarra Glen to the library, and then home, feeling fantastic after a day of nurturing myself.

Caitlin and her friend S had arranged to go home with Mum and stay the night in Yea, so they were keen to get going once I arrived home. I helped them get out the door, and LiAM went with them to have a play with V for the afternoon/evening. Tony had baseball all evening so it was just me and Millie at home. We played The Lego Movie game on the Xbox for a while, then watched the Lego Movie. We spent ages playing a new puzzle game I bought at the op shop, where we have to put marked tiles on a variety of base boards, following certain rules (fish can only be on water, animals only on land, nothing on a snake) and it was challenging and lots of fun. We went outside to check on the chickens and Snowy had her chicks in the same corner behind the shed so we tried to move them into the pen. She wasn't quite settled enough yet and ran away whenever I got close, taking her chicks with her. I tried to chase her into the pen but she kept circling around and going back to her spot. (And her chicks kept wandering off so she was much more concerned with finding them then with running away from me). Millie thought that perhaps a trail of chicken food would lead them to the pen, so she spent a lot of effort making a long trail, and it worked for a while, they made their way along about half of it, then got spooked and went back to their corner. We decided to leave it until she had fallen asleep when she'd be easier to move.

Millie played with her Barbies, one of them in the new Dr Barbie outfit I bought today, so she became a vet and was fixing all of Millie's animals. I tidied up for the evening, then when Tony came home we went and moved the chickens. LiAM came home soon after and played Harry Potter Lego - he'd finished Year 7 Part 1 before he went out so was keen to finish the story off completely.  I went to bed to keep reading my book and the others came in after a while.

Catching Up

I had decided I wasn't going to blog until I was caught up with my emails - which doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon, and I've been missing blogging. So now I'll try to write as often as I can, and sort out my emails afterwards, without the pressure of feeling like I 'have to' get them done so that I can write.

Actually I tend to get much more done in general if I do the things I want to do first, then I'm in a relaxed state and can happily do the less enjoyable things too. If I try the 'work hard first, have the reward at the end' I can feel slightly grumpy through the whole thing, and often don't bother finishing and just skip the 'reward' part. The kids are all the same, to a greater or lesser extent, although they've never had pressure to do things the other way, so they can easily say no if someone is trying to convince them to do something by offering a reward at the end of it, and they automatically do the things they enjoy, and are happy to do the harder things if someone asks them too, when they are ready, they don't need anything at the end to motivate them. I'm hoping I can continue to remember this about myself as well, instead of slipping back into the more culturally expected method of operating.

So a bit of a summary of the past 6 weeks or so
- Caitlin finished her performance season and had another enjoyable night of acting. I saw this performance and was impressed with how her class performed a very powerful and important scene within the play, despite being one of the youngest groups.
- Caitlin has been to sleepovers at a few friend's houses, which also included going to a nail salon, helping feed sheep, going swimming, going shopping, going to the movies
- We all went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens the day after it was released - Caitlin with her friends at a birthday party, and the rest of us at the same time in a different movie theatre (the new one at Eastland which has reclining seats and is SO comfortable). And we all LOVED it!
- Tony and the kids went to see it again, with his sister, just before New Years
- We had 3 nights in Queenscliff with my family, lots of fun at the beach and hanging around the house, you can read more at travellingandexploringourworld.blogspot.com.au
- Christmas was really lovely, we spent the morning here at home, playing with what Santa bought, and opening our presents to each other, then we went up to Mum's for the rest of the day, had a lovely christmas lunch then another round of presents, then relaxed and played with presents, hung out in the spa and so on
- Tony and the girls stayed overnight at Mum's on Christmas night for more of the same. LiAM and I came home, on Boxing Day I did a bit of housework and we both had a quiet morning, then headed back up to Yea in the afternoon for another enjoyable evening of leftover Christmas food and playing with T and all our presents, then we all came home that night
- I had 3 nights in Sydney between christmas and new year, catching up with a couple of friends and with my brother in his new house
- We had my dad's 70th last weekend, a fun and relaxed afternoon party at his house, very well organised by Mum
- We've been to the Healesville Outdoor pool several times on hot days - sometimes we arrange to meet friends there, other times we just go alone, and we always find lots of people we know to play and swim with
- Caitlin and I went to see The Dressmaker (which I loved completely), and LiAM and I went to see The Hunger Games, Mockingjay Part 2
- We've watched lots of movies at home
- We've played lots of board games
- I'm working on cleaning out the last part of Caitlin's new room - she's sleeping in there but her desk is covered in all my sewing stuff so hoping to get that organised over the next few days so the space is all hers
- We've had friends come over and been to visit friends and played lots of games, inside and out
- LiAM and Millie have played a lot of Skylanders - Super Chargers, which they got for christmas
- Everyone has played a lot of Crossy Road (except for me - I played for the 1st time yesterday, so I have at least now played it. Not sure if I will get right into it like the others, I found it quite stressful)
- LiAM has been playing a lot of soccer in the back yard, with anyone who will play with him. The girls have been playing a bit, and Tony and I as well, and whichever friends come over
- We've been swimming in the dam a couple of times
- Caitlin has been horse riding at a friend's house

And lots lots more!

Caitlin's Confirmation

Caitlin made her Confirmation on Sunday, in Mum and Dad's church in Yea. (Although I'm not sure if I'm using the right terminology, I think it's better to say 'Caitlin was Confirmed'). Anyway, it was a great day, a beautiful ceremony (again, that's not the correct term anymore, it is supposed to be celebration or service, but to me it felt like a wonderful ceremony).

Caitlin had gone up to the Catholic school a few times over the past several weeks to take part in the preparation for Confirmation - she had an afternoon making the Stole (scarf) that she would wear on the day, and there was a parent/student night where the kids all shared with us the reason they had chosen their Saint's name, and which gift of the Holy Spirit they were choosing to focus on. The kids from the school prepared all their information in class and had their speeches written out - Caitlin only found out a few hours before the get together that she would be asked to speak, so she did it fairly impromptu and did a great job. She also spent a full day at the school when the Bishop came to visit - he talked to each of the kids in detail about their Saint and their gifts, and it really helped to give a lot more meaning to day, rather than just going through the motions.

Caitlin and I braved the new Eastland shopping centre last Thursday to find a new dress for her - it had only been open a week so it was pretty crazy in there, and it is SO big - I left with complete sensory overload and was exhausted for the rest of the day. We found a beautiful dress though and she was so happy with it, so it was worth the excursion. We got shoes on the way to acting on Friday night, also beautiful - and women's shoes, not girls. Her feet are at the top end of the girl's shoe range, and most styles don't go that high, so she got to browse the women's shoes which gave her a lot more choice.

Tone's sister is Caitlin's godmother and she came down from Brisbane to be Caitlin's sponsor. Tony picked her up from the airport on Saturday and we had a great day at home and then out at the cheese shop at De Bortoli. I was babysitting for my sister on Saturday night so the kids and Tone and his sister had a quiet night at home without me.

Caitlin and her sponsor needed to be at the church early on Sunday, so I took them, and Caitlin's friend S came with us for the day as well. Tony came up with LiAM and Millie in time for mass. Mum and Dad sat behind us in the church so we were all together which was nice. The mass was lovely, the Bishop again explained things well and made it all meaningful. There was a great sense of community and family throughout the whole service. The Bishop asked some of the kids to come up and explain about their Saints to the whole church, and Caitlin was one of the children picked to do that. She also read a Prayer of the Faithful, and was confident and clear in both cases.

After mass there was a morning tea with a great cake and some other nibblies. I'd made shortbread (using the Thermomix recipe) and it was delicious - the Bishop loved it and came and thanked me for it when he found out I'd made it! I met Mum's old neighbour, who used to live in Leeton - we don't think we knew each other from there but it was pretty cool to meet her. I also caught up with another friend of a friend whose son now goes to the Catholic School in Yea.

We went up to Mum's for a BBQ lunch which was very relaxed and tasty. Tony's sister hadn't been to Mum's property before, so she and I did a big tour and she loved the location and the view. It really is a beautiful spot and a great house. After lunch the big girls went in the spa and the kids played terraria and hide and seek and some board games. We had some dessert then Tony took his sister back to the airport. Caitlin and Dad went for a bike ride and Caitlin had an accident and hurt her toe. She iced it for a while and didn't think she could walk easily - but it did settle down and she was able to hobble around after some rest. The kids played for a while longer then I took S home and we arrived home in time to have leftover BBQ meat for tea and a quiet, relaxing evening after a very big weekend.

Hanging out with Grandparents

I had an appointment at 8.30 yesterday morning, so Mum and Dad came down to look after the kids for the morning. Tony ended up still being at home with his sore back, though we figured it would still be easier for Mum to be here to help get breakfast etc and Tony could still rest. It was a foggy, cold morning when I set out, which turned into a beautiful sunny warm day by late morning.

I went to my appointment then called in to see a friend on the way home. Her boys were initially disappointed that I had turned up without my kids - then they were excited that they could show me where they were up to in their games, and they sat next to me and showed me their progress in all their favourite iPad games - it was lovely, and I realised that I don't always have a lot of interaction with them when my kids are there - I might try to check in on their games each time I visit from now on.

When I got home everyone had had a lovely morning. Caitlin and Dad had been doing some multiplication, LiAM and Mum had cleaned up the kitchen and LiAM and Millie had made more patterns on the peg boards. The girls decided to get in their swimmers and go on the trampoline with the hose, and LiAM was meeting a friend at Maroondah Dam for a picnic and to do the Aussie Backyard Bird Count. We left Dad in charge of the hose and 2 happy girls on the trampoline, and Mum and I dropped LiAM with his friend and then went out for lunch at Mocha and Lime in Healesville - lunch was my christmas present to Mum from last year, and we hadn't managed to find a day that suited us both until now. We ate great food and had an enjoyable chat and it didn't matter that it had taken us 10 months to organise it. We had a little bit of a walk around Healesville afterwards, then went back to pick LiAM up.

Back at home, Millie and Dad were playing Skylanders Guess Who and Caitlin had been to visit our neighbour and done some practice on her cursive writing. Mum and Dad headed home and the kids went back outside with the hose and played in the water and the mud - Caitlin caked herself in mud and called herself the mud monster. Tony had been to the doctor and was told that his back pain is muscular so should get better over the next couple of weeks, and he is better to be up and about as much as he can be.

Once everyone was clean, Caitlin and I sewed the green stripes on our karate belts (and LiAM's), and LiAM played Terraria. Caitlin went back outside to practice her cartwheels for a while - she's getting really good. We watched Big Bang Theory and Auction Hunters and Top Gear. Everyone was tired and ready for bed by 10pm which is unusual in our house. Tone rubbed the big kids backs and everyone crashed pretty quickly.

Home and a concert

I wrote this last week and didn't get back to it to post it...

Tuesday was another day spent at home, although that wasn't originally the plan. We were going to meet some other unschoolers at a park day, however the weather was pretty wet and wild so the meet was cancelled and we decided to stay cozily at home. We watched some TV and played on the iPad and LiAM and Millie played more lego games. In the afternoon we had some friends come over. LiAM and A played on their iPads and Millie and J played lego and jumped on the trampoline. Caitlin skyped with friends and played Minecraft.

In the evening Caitlin and I headed in towards the city. I dropped her at a friend's house for a sleepover and I met my sister at RRR radio station for a Live to Air session by Tim Rogers and the Bamboos.  It was a great gig, fantastic music and wonderful as always to see Tim Rogers. I was astounded to realise he is only 2 years older than me - I hadn't realised he was so young when I used to go and see You Am I play at Newcastle Uni in the early 90s. After the show I went back to F's place, had a play and a cuddle with T - and watched him practice his new walking skill! - then had dinner and dessert with F & J.


The rest of the week was pretty busy and then last Sunday we went camping in the King Valley for 5 days. I will write all about our trip at travellingandexploringourworld.blogspot.com.au - I didn't write anything while we were away, I spent the time hanging out by the river and enjoying having very little electronic communication.

Easter Weekend

Tony has had all 4 days of the Easter long weekend off work, it has been so wonderful (and also a bit weird) having home, in the mornings, in the evenings, through the day. He seems much more relaxed now too.

On Friday we had a quiet morning at home then LiAM and I went to a friend's place in the afternoon, and I took my friend H for a driving lesson, then stayed for a cuppa while LiAM played with the boys. On Friday night Caitlin's friend S came for a sleepover. The girls watched a couple of Hillary Duff movies and everyone played their iPads until they went to bed.

Saturday the girls worked on a slide show of photos from S's birthday party last month. She went home about 11.30 then we all went to Donnelly's Weir to meet Mum and Dad for an Easter picnic, after stopping at Coles on the way for supplies. It was a lovely lunch, and the kids played and explored around the top of the weir and in the edge of the (very cold) water. We had an impromptu easter egg hunt, then once the eggs were found, the kids and Grandad took it in turns to hide them again for the other 3 to find. LiAM found a big fallen tree to climb along, and with his brown and green clothes was well camouflaged into the bush by the time he got to the other end.

LiAM is at the other end of that tree somewhere...

Easter Egg hunt with Grandad

After lunch Tony, Caitlin and Dad walked to Maroondah Dam, while Mum and I drove the 2 cars over, with LiAM and Millie. The main carpark was VERY busy, but we parked further around, near the end of the Donnellys Weir track. The kids briefly explored the edge of the river, and I ran into a friend who I see quite regularly in random places, then Mum set off along the walking track to meet the others on their way. LiAM & Millie and I headed back to the playground, playing with some of the very cool bark from the gum trees on the way. LiAM had a bit of play then had had enough, and my back was hurting, so we lay on the picnic mat and played cards for a while. The others arrived shortly afterwards and Caitlin played with Millie for a while on the playground.

Back home for a quiet evening, with Tony watching the football, then at 9.20 we went outside and got comfortable on the trampoline to watch the lunar eclipse. We stayed out there until the full eclipse (the Blood Moon - very exciting as a Blood Moon happens occasionally in Terraria) at 11pm. It was a little chilly but we had blankets and lots of great conversation and laughs. It was incredible to watch the shadow pass across the moon and at different stages it reminded us all of different objects which sparked a lot of connections and conversation.

Once the eclipse had happened I went in and went to bed, the kids were fired up though so stayed up for a while in their room, making loom band creations from a new book Caitlin had borrowed from the library.

Everyone slept until after 7 on Easter morning, and the kids all waited very patiently until everyone was up and dressed and ready before they went out to the kitchen to see what the Easter Bunny had delivered. Everyone was happy and excited with their gifts - they each received a chocolate bunny, Caitlin got an egg in a Barbie cup, LiAM 2 eggs in an Avengers cup, Millie an egg with a My Little Pony snack box and drink bottle - which (unknown to the Easter Bunny) was EXACTLY what she'd wanted. Outside then for the Easter Egg hunt, lots of fun finding little eggs all over our very large yard. Once again everyone was happy with what they found, and after all were collected they happily traded with each other so no one had any flavours or types they didn't like. Chocolate for breakfast, and Millie had her drink bottle and snack box filled up, then everyone wandered off to play or loom or watch tv. Caitlin and I started cleaning up the dining room later in the morning, and we managed to clear the table and the floor so that we could eat dinner in there that night. Millie spent most of the day playing with Lego. LiAM watched tv and chatted to us.

Millie very excited about the Easter Bunny's offerings

Caitlin and her presents from the Easter Bunny

Easter Egg Hunt

LiAM after having sorted his eggs after the hunt

In the afternoon we had friends come over for Easter dinner (the same friends we saw on Friday). It was a relaxed evening, the kids all played well, the boys made a car and a cat out of bottles, boxes, sticky tape and foam, Millie and J played Lego and dress ups, O played with the dinosaurs, Caitlin made more loom band bracelet/ring hand pieces, the adults chatted and sampled wine and Tony cooked a magnificent baked dinner which everyone ate quite a bit of, and a tasty pudding for dessert.

Funeral and Start of Vintage

On Monday this week, Tony and I drove to Bathurst to attend a funeral on Tuesday. An old friend of ours, someone we hadn't seen in many many years, was killed in a road accident 10 days prior. The funeral was incredibly sad, I don't know if I've ever cried so much at a funeral, or seen so many other people crying. His wife (who was a very good friend of mine when we were in our early 20s) and his 3 kids (aged 14, 12 & 9) all spoke or had things read out, his wife sang a song she wrote for him, and some friends and family spoke. It was a beautiful send off.

In the days after I learnt of his death, I had several anxiety attacks - some about driving, some thinking about how I would cope if anyone important in my life died - and I was able to work through them without them taking hold too much, and now concentrating on the other reminders that our friend's death has given us - to appreciate our loved ones, to really live the life that you want to live, that friends and family really matter.

Despite the sad nature of our trip, Tony and I really enjoyed our time together in the car on the way up and back. 8 hours each way to chat, listen to music, and laugh (a lot). It was a great reconnection time for us, which is especially helpful given that Vintage is now upon us.

Tony came home from work on Thursday (he'd had Tue and Wed off, and Mon was a public holiday) and said that Vintage was starting Friday. He worked 12 hours yesterday and is working both days this weekend. So we're straight into it (although he thinks that this coming week won't be too intense). I'm feeling quite positive about it - I think I've organised our activities so there aren't too many and won't be too difficult to manage on my own, and I'm feeling confident that I can say no to extra things that are too hard, and concentrate on doing things that really nurture myself and the kids.

Chocolate and what to do on tough days

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. The kids and I had a quiet morning at home, playing lego, pokemon, a couple of iPad games, then we met my parents for lunch at the Yarra Valley Chocolaterie, which is less than 5km from our place. Dad had invited the kids to his birthday lunch but not told them where it was, so it was a pleasant surprise for them to arrive at the chocolate factory. We started with our usual spoonful of free chocolate chips, and the kids had a bit of a run around in the maze then came back and did some colouring in while we waited for our food. The kids had kids pizzas and I had a delicious potato and herb pizza and a big iced chocolate (which LiAM drank most of - I think he enjoyed the taste more than I did, it was a bit too sweet for me). After we'd eaten LiAM took Grandad out to the maze to have a race, then all the kids took him down to the wetlands to have a look at the water. Mum and I wandered through the vegetable garden, which I hadn't seen before. It inspired me to keep going with growing herbs and to get more of a range (mum gave me several herb plants for christmas, so I'm getting back into gardening again, slowly). After everyone joined us in the garden we went back inside and the girls got some takeaway ice cream, and LiAM got a very yummy chocolate brownie with ice cream. I got a box of chocolate frogs to share and to help raise money to save the Southern Corroboree Frog from extinction.

Millie in the vegetable garden after racing me to the end of the path

Back home the kids continued their lego game and also played outside when it wasn't raining. I played on the iPad with Millie for a while then had a nap as I was very sleepy. Tony came home just as I was waking up, then Mum and Dad called in to pick up something. I had a cup of tea with them and the kids enjoyed seeing them twice in a day, and especially at home, being able to show them christmas presents and other new things we've done or made or bought (especially our new camping chairs). After they'd left I had a bath and read my book (Raising My Voice by Malalai Joya) while Tony cooked tea. We watched the T20 game on TV (we'd planned to watch the Asia Cup soccer match but it wasn't on live) and the kids played more of their lego game.

During the day I'd read an article online that bothered me and I wasn't sure what to do about it (this happens a bit). It was written by a mother who had had a bad day with her kids, and they'd been angry with her, and it seemed she was writing to get support for the way she'd handled it. Articles and conversations like this can upset me because the general comments usually are along the lines of  'Don't worry, you're doing a great job, kids have it too easy these days, nobody is perfect, sometimes we need to be mean so that they learn...' etc. I think it's very easy then for parents to not take responsibility for their own actions, and not try to do better. What I think is that yes, we do all have bad days and make mistakes when dealing with our kids. And if I do or say something that upsets my children, I don't want to defend that, nor do I want anyone else to tell me it's ok. I want to stop and look at how I handled it, and see what other choices I could have made. Was there a way I could have helped us all be more peaceful? Did I react quickly without knowing the whole story? Did I consider everyone else's feelings and needs in the moment or only my own? Is there a way I could have said what I wanted to say more gently or at a more appropriate time? Are people tired, hungry, thirsty and just need a bit of nurturing to calm everyone down? Is what I'm upset about really a problem, or is it something that I could look at a different way? Every day I want to be striving towards more peace and more togetherness, working as a team to make my family happy and strong and peaceful - and obviously as the parent I have a stronger role in that than the kids do. They are learning to be more peaceful and to think of others, and the best way for them to learn that is to see it modelled by their parents. I'm trying this year to see the positive side in every thing that happens and to feel gratitude more and more, so despite feeling uncomfortable initially about the article I read, I am grateful for the reminder it gave me - to be more mindful of my own behaviour around my kids (and others), and when I make a mistake, to apologise, not defend myself. To work towards peace, not towards being right. One moment, one interaction at a time, and aiming to keep getting better.