I felt really disheartened today. Everything seemed too hard and I was quite teary. I spent too long on Facebook reading posts that annoyed me, the printer wouldn't work, I got frustrated at people not helping out around the house... I couldn't decide how I wanted to spend my time and was just really agitated. Being outside was good for a while, working hard and being in the cool air (it was raining on and off, but not heavily (there was heavy rain later on)). I did some puzzles then had a long chat with Tony. He suggested I have a bath so I took one of my new library books into the bath and ate chocolate and Tony brought me a big mug of hot chocolate. I felt much better when I got out, although quite tired. I lay down for a while then worked on my photos. I went for a long walk in the hour before sunset - the clouds to the east again had a brownish orange tinge to them, it was pretty spectacular. I was listening to a battle scene and the aftermath in my audio book (Book 1 of the Wheel of Time) and the atmosphere of the dark clouds and the storm front felt quite appropriate. I went over the creek - the water was probably as high as I'm willing to cross, and unusually it was trickier coming back over than going across the first time. I had my camera with me which made me a bit more cautious, I'd like to try it at that height without my camera next time. Once home I tidied up for a bit then we all watched State of Origin Ninja which was quite exciting.
The girls watched Bolt and Grease today in a bit of a John Travolta marathon (is 2 movies a marathon?) and Amelie played Minecraft on the phone with a friend. Caitlin crocheted a little teddy bear and Liam played on his computer and chatted to a friend. Tony took care of a bunch of housework while I rested.
I wonder if my mood was strongly influenced by my Facebook feed or if I would have been out of sorts today anyway. I felt like there was a lot of complaining this morning - complaining and scapegoating, which I think is the bit that got me. I don't deny that Stage 4 is hard on just about everyone. I don't like it and I feel like on the whole we've got it pretty easy. Everyone is missing out or has missed out on things. And regardless of individual circumstances, some people are finding it harder than others. I think we can acknowledge how hard it is though without having to blame someone for it, or spend a lot of time say 'if only so and so had done this at that point.' Maybe things would have been different if things were done differently earlier on. Interestingly though, a lot of the people who are now complaining are also the ones who were pushing to have restrictions eased last time. For me, the easiest way to get through this is to accept that this is what the situation is right now. We are in Stage 4, regardless of how we got here. So from this point if each of us makes choices that are in line with the restrictions, finds way to bring joy to our lives when we can, acknowledge how difficult it is when we can't, reach out to each other for support and provide support to others - I think that's all we can do. It's what I'm aiming to do anyway.
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