Lockdown 2.0, Day 5

Feeling really happy this afternoon. I had one of my favourite kind of days (apart from days spent with friends). I pottered around the house, sorting and tidying, a bit of cleaning, in between writing, reading, playing games on my phone, watching TV (Brooklyn 9-9) and movies (the 1st 3 Twilight movies) on and off, chatting to the kids and on the phone with friends. I took my time over things, didn't worry about finishing tasks, just did what naturally felt right to do next. A walk in the late afternoon with beautiful sunlight over the vines, chatting to a friend then listening to my audio book, and then playing Get Over It on Liam's computer - a repetitive game that I'm very slowly getting better at and that I found soothing rather than frustrating.  Tony has cooked dinner so I'm about to curl up and eat and then watch the rest of Eclipse with the girls. I haven't looked at the news and spent little time on Facebook and on the whole I'm feeling more positive about everything.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 4

I took my own advice this afternoon - when I got tired and headachy, I went to bed and watched a movie rather than pushing through. I watched 'The Light Between Oceans' - I knew it would be heartbreaking because I've read the book. It was well made and fairly true to the book. The crying didn't help my headache, but it did shift something and when it was finished I had energy to get up and do a few more things and I feel better than I would have if I'd just crashed and given up on my evening.

I had a headache pretty much all day, including when I was awake during the night. It came and went and I relaxed when it was bad (including having a nice long shower) and pottered around when it wasn't. I enjoyed my time outside patching the driveway and working on my compost. I did heaps of cooking again - finished the lemon cordial, made lemon-infused oil, and 3 jars of lemon butter - it's SO delicious and I'm excited to have it in the fridge. I watched YouTube with Caitlin and then the girls watched a series that Amelie likes for the rest of the day - I popped in and out and watched bits with them and chatted about the plot. I like seeing how they interpret different social situations and it was interesting to compare which characters we all liked and disliked.

I went for a nice long walk late in the afternoon, it was cloudy but not too cold, and Luna got to chase a fox down the back of the property, very exciting for her. It was a glossy red, healthy looking fox, I've seen a few here lately, the rabbit population must be thriving to give them lots of food.

I had a look at the news after my walk, and at Facebook, which seemed to bring on my headache again pretty quickly. The numbers are high again, health workers are getting sick, there's a small outbreak in NSW - too much scary news so I walked away from the computer and relaxed instead. I did a bit of my puzzle, watched my movie, and now that I've tidied the kitchen I'm going to do a bit more writing while we watch a Twilight movie and then enjoy my sleep.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 3

I realised this morning that I had been thinking that I needed to be productive this lockdown. Last time I let myself relax and take things easy last time, didn't push myself, but this time I should use the time efficiently and get a heap of things done. I was already starting to feel the pressure of that and luckily I was able to have a rethink.

There are some things I'd like to achieve over the next 6 weeks - writing every day, staying fit, selling some photos, sorting out some more areas of the house - and these were things I was planning to do anyway, before the lockdown was announced. It's important though that I take care of myself and help the kids get through this as emotionally healthily as they can. If that's all I manage over the next couple of months, that's ok. If I get more done, that's great. I really want to take each day one at a time, spend time doing things that I love, play with the kids, play the piano, go for walks - they are my priority. I also find that if I do focus on those things, I become more productive overall anyway.

I ended up having a fairly relaxing, though busy, day. Lots of time in the kitchen - I made yoghurt, helped Caitlin with making kombucha, made chicken stock, started some lemon cordial, and made lemon chicken for dinner. In between there was time outside, piano playing, a long walk in Yarra Glen after dropping Caitlin at work - the river is really high at the moment, and I walked along the new boardwalk next it, which I hadn't done before. The wattle trees are just starting to bloom, it was really pretty.

I'm heading off to bed soon to read my book, looking forward to another day at home tomorrow to potter around and do whatever springs to mind.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 2

Today has been slightly anxiety-inducing. Settling into lockdown can feel a bit unknown, and the numbers overnight were huge (288 - the biggest day yet) which is unnerving. I went to Chirnside Park this morning to get Amelie's phone fixed again (the fix we had done on Monday didn't work) - I don't like being there, although I went early so that it wasn't too crowded. I really prefer to stay local with my shopping, it feels safer and way less stressful. I wore my mask and made sure I kept my distance from people. After arguing with the phone guy about whether I should have to pay for a 2ns fix or not, I did the grocery shopping at Woolworths and went back to discover that the phone problem is worse than we thought and it needed to be sent away. I got a coffee and went for a walk then realised that I probably wasn't allowed to sit down on a park bench and read, which was my plan, so I went back to the car and drove to a park, and sat in the car and read my book for a while. On the way home I stopped to get chicken food (we have to sit in our cars at the stock feed place and they come out to serve us) and chatted through the window with my neighbour's daughter in her car - it was good to catch up on a bit of local news and check that our neighbour was doing ok. By the time I got home I was exhausted, and Amelie was quite sad about her phone. It is nice though to have full cupboards again (and lots of chocolate).

Caitlin heard last week that the local fish and chip was looking for more help - she rang them yesterday and they said to bring her resume in. So when I got home we put together a resume for her and drove to Yarra Glen. We did a bit of browsing in the hardware store and got some paint samples - we want to repaint the kitchen cupboards now that we have a nicely painted splashback and new curtains (thanks to Caitlin). She handed her resume in at the Fish and Chip shop, and the guy asked her to make a coffee for him. She made a latte (he was impressed that a 15 year old can make coffee) and he chatted to her for a bit then he asked her to start work at 5pm today.

We had an early fish and chip dinner, I browsed Facebook for a bit and then felt anxious again seeing people argue about everything, so I shut that down. Tony and I went for a walk with Luna, he came home and took Caitlin to work and I continued a nice long walk on my own. The sunset was pretty and it wasn't too cold - I still feel exhausted but it was good to have a bit of alone time and some exercise. I'm feeling a bit like I didn't get much done today - the dishwasher is still full and I didn't hang the washing etc - that's how some days go I guess, other things happen and it's not as though I haven't been busy, it was just different to what I'd planned.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 1

When we went into self-isolation in mid-March, and then when the whole state locked down, and we were home all the time along with most people we knew around the world, I kept thinking that it would be useful and interesting to blog about the experience. I thought about it nearly every day, and just never got around to writing a post. When restrictions started to ease I thought about writing a summary of our lockdown time - but kept finding other things to do. Now that we are back in lockdown, my aim is to stop thinking about writing about it, and just turn up at the keyboard each day and write something.

So. Here we are again, with only 4 reasons to leave the house. Which means the kids will basically stay home nearly all the time, I'll go out once or twice a week to do the shopping and get the mail, and there might be some Zoom meetings or classes from time to time. In a lot of ways things won't change too much. We were very slow in coming out of restrictions, mainly only seeing local friends and only 1 or 2 at a time. We weren't going to public places much - I'd only ventured to Chirnside Park shops a couple of times. None of our regular activities had started up again. So we were still self-isolating in a lot of ways. We had started to have friends over a few times a week and the number of different people we were seeing one-on-one had increased - so I guess that will be different. But the kids are good at chatting to their friends on their phones or computers and I can easily keep in touch with people so it won't be too bad.

I do like having few demands on my time, so another 6 weeks of that is not a bad thing. I had visions of getting heaps of things done around the house last time - and in the end I did do a lot, just in little bits and pieces of time rather than spending days working on projects. I have some higher aims this time (some house stuff, also some creative ideas with my writing and photography, and maybe looking at ways of earning an income) but I also want to hang on to the things I learnt the first time - that I'm happier and more productive if I listen to myself and do what feels right in the moment, rather than pushing myself to achieve a pre-set goal for the day. (Earlier this week I was telling Tony that I was frustrated because I hadn't been able to get much done that day because other things kept happening. I was recounting my day and only up to about 2pm and he said 'That's a really busy day already, you actually did heaps!' ).

The kids seem OK with the idea of lockdown again, although sad that they won't see their friends for a while. Caitlin was about to go back into the gym for Cheer - Zoom trainings are not as fun or motivating as training with the team, so she was looking forward to that. We had plans for Liam to spend a day or two a week with one of his friends, and Amelie had just met some girls that she was hoping to see regularly. I was thinking about starting our Ninja classes up again. So all of that is on hold and we're readjusting to spending our time entertaining ourselves again. Caitlin had just bought a bunch of fabric (we got 2 trips to the op shop in this week, our first time back that, so that was exciting) and she's busy making clothes. Amelie is drawing and listening to audio books and playing cards with me. Liam will continue playing his computer games and working on his fitness. There's plenty to do and we're comfortable and happy at home.

Working in the background

Yesterday I was walking the dogs, like I do most mornings. I had Luna on a long lead - it's an 8m lunge lead, meant for horses. I like using it because she can still run around a lot, go in the dam if she wants to, explore lots and feel like she's free to run, while she's actually still attached to me and can't run off. Buckley doesn't need a lead - he is mainly content to just trot along nearby whoever is walking. (The only time no lead is a problem for him is when we meet a tractor or car on the paths. His partial deafness and partial blindness and general go-with-the-flow-ness means that he either doesn't know they are coming, or doesn't care. The only way I've found to get him out of their way is to swoop in and pick him up. I need to be careful about it though. If I come up too fast from behind, he thinks we're running now, and starts to run faster. If I come at him from the front, he thinks we're going the other way now, so he turns around and starts to run. I try to come at him quickly from the side - he usually can't see me coming from that direction, and I can grab him before he changes speed or course).

Anyway. Neither Buckley or Luna are aware of the long lead that Luna is attached to, or it's consequences. Luna runs back and forwards across the path, doubles back if she sees something interesting, stops and starts and the lead follows along behind her, often catching Buckley around the back legs or across the head, as he just trots faithfully along. Yesterday (and most days now) I was changing my own course as we walked, so that there was less chance of the lead wiping Buckley out. I was thinking about how easy it is for me to do that, to just be in the background, without fuss, moving to a different side of the path, or flicking my wrist to move the lead over a dog, or whatever I need to do to keep both of them safe. It was just part of my walk and part of having a very old dog at the same time as having a very exuberant dog.

And from there I jumped to how I handle things with my kids and Tony. It's very similar, although sometimes I'm not quite so calm about it. I spend a lot of time surveying the scene, whatever is happening in our lives at each moment, and doing what needs to be done to keep everyone happy and safe. Liam doesn't like the feel or sound of certain fabrics, so I make sure I don't handle those fabrics near him (for example, I don't fold up my reusable bags when he's in the room, and when I'm buying clothes for him I check the feel of them and only buy if I know he'll be ok). Amelie is sensitive to noise so I always warn her before I turn any appliance on, and wait until she's ready (she leaves the room, or covers her ears, and sometimes she wants to finish doing something before she does either of those).  Tony has been getting frustrated with one of the cupboards in the kitchen, so I reorganised it so that things aren't falling out all the time. Caitlin gets flustered sometimes if people ask her a lot of direct questions, so I join in the conversation and deflect some of the comments to me instead.

There are 100s of little things I'll do in a week to help make everyone's life run more smoothly. This doesn't mean that I don't ever let anything upset anyone in my family. There are times when things don't go to plan, or happen without warning, and there are always disappointments in life. But that doesn't mean that when we have the ability to change things, we should just let the disappointment or discomfort happen because kids need to learn how to handle it.

While ever I am able, I am very happy to be there in the background, seamlessly and without needing affirmation, moving things around when I can so that everyone feels comfortable. I know my family well, and I know what things can upset or irritate them, so I can adjust the situation so that those irritants aren't happening or aren't a problem. It's certainly much easier to have tweaked things beforehand, than to have people upset and then work through that with them. Just like with the dogs, often no one knows that I'm doing anything, and I'm happy that everyone's life here can be a bit smoother, happier and more peaceful, and they don't need to know that things needed to be smoothed out. The added benefit of this is that I'm getting so much better at smoothing things out for myself rather than just accepting whatever happens, so everyone, including myself, is having a more comfortable life.

Helicopters and frost

Last night I was relaxing in the bath after a big bushwalk, and I heard a helicopter overhead. Nothing unusual about that - but it kept getting louder and louder as if it was coming in to land  - then I remembered that there was frost forecast for this morning, and the grape vines have started to bud. I was hoping they'd have to send the helicopter in - both to save the vines from the frost, and because I LOVE helicopters. I called out to the kids (by this stage the noise was directly above the house so I figured they'd probably heard it but maybe not realised what was happening) and they ran outside to watch it land. Luna was terrified and was happy to have their company. Tony and the kids chatted a bit to the pilot before he headed off to wherever he stays on the frost nights.

The helicopter has come most years in spring, when there's a frost forecast for the next morning and there are already buds or leaves on the vines. It's job is to fly over the vines and created enough wind that the dew can't freeze and destroy the crop. Some other vineyards have big fans installed to do the same job, or have a sprinkler system installed which stops the water from freezing. If the new leaves are damaged in spring, the wineries will have to wait for a secondary crop which would mean that yield would be down significantly. Usually when the helicopter comes the temperature doesn't end up dropping enough to form a frost, so the pilot gets a good night's sleep somewhere and comes back and picks his helicopter up in the morning.

Last night we went to bed as usual and I woke at 2.40am to a noise I couldn't identify. I'd put the washing machine on timer so that it would wash overnight and at first I thought it was the spin cycle, although I couldn't ever remember the noise taking over the whole house. There as also what sounded like an alarm going off. Then I remembered the helicopter and jumped out of bed to see it - I went out into the carport (where it was pretty cold, just below zero I later found out) and could see the helicopter getting ready to take off (it was over near the sheds). The noise was phenomenal, echoing through the carport and practically shaking the house. The alarm sound was just the high pitch of the propellers whizzing around, and there was a deep throbbing sound as well. I watched it take off in the dark night (it had lights) which was exciting, then watched for a while as it flew back and forth over each area of the vineyard, under an almost full moon. It was totally worth getting up at 3am and standing in the cold to see it.

Luna was once again terrified and when I opened the back door she raced straight into the house (she's usually reluctant to come in). She curled up on the couch and was much happier. I watched the helicopter for a bit longer (from the warmth of inside) then went back to bed - it flew for half an hour then landed again and the noise was pretty loud the whole time. Tony and the kids didn't wake up - I was surprised. I heard it take off two more times through the night - a big night for the pilot this time. The temperarture hovered just below zero for most of the rest of the night, then warmed up quickly once the sun came up. I slept in a little due to being up in the middle of the night, so the frost was gone by time I went outside.

I love living where we do for so many reasons, and this was one that I don't think of very often - it's like a little value add to have the excitement of the helicopter on our property, and I also enjoy the strong reminder of how much agriculture is at the mercy of the weather. I'm grateful to live here and be surrounded by grapevines and that the company is in a good enough position to protect their assets - which helps with Tony's job security and income.