Yesterday morning I was at the computer and Millie came out into the lounge room and started playing, and I heard her say 'Good, finally it's just me and Mummy again!' - a great reminder of how much she treasures that time when she and I play together. So when she came in to sit on my lap and use the computer, I was quite happy to hand it over to her and chat to her while she played Minecraft, and help her spell things she wanted to type. I really enjoy my time alone in the mornings when it happens, checking my email and Facebook and browsing the internet. It has sometimes bothered me then when one of the kids gets up early and I don't have as much time by myself - but lately I've been enjoying it, however it works out. It is lovely having that quiet one-on-one time with whoever comes out first (usually Millie, sometimes LiAM, very occasionally Caitlin). Sometimes we play together, other times they play on the computer or iPad or put a movie on and I do my own thing next to them, while we share the experience. And it doesn't bother me like it used to if I don't end up finishing reading all my emails, or doing all the things I was planning to do - I can come back to it later, or the next day, or whenever - it's usually more fun to change direction and do what the kids want to do. (Occasionally I'll be working on something that someone else is waiting for, so I don't want to stop, and in those cases the kids are usually happy if I put a movie on until I'm finished and then they can have their turn on the computer).
It's the same during the day when I'm doing housework or sorting things out or reading or whatever I'm doing - if someone asks me to come and watch or come and play, I really try to say yes as much os the time as I can. What I'm doing can usually wait - spending time learning and exploring and playing with the kids is way more important than just about anything else, and I can always come back to the other activities. When I stop and play with the kids I've found it works best if I really do commit to playing, and be in the moment with them - if I'm still thinking about what I was doing and wondering when I can get back to it, then I'm distracted and not as fun a playmate, and I don't enjoying the playing or watching as much either.
I'm getting much more comfortable with the idea of not finishing tasks too - I can start something and get as much done as I manage, and if I'm interrupted for whatever reason that's fine. If I get back to it, great, if not, I can move it aside and finish it later, or let it go completely. I watch the kids do it all the time - work on something until they have had enough, then move on to another activity, without that stressful 'I Should finish this' feeling hanging over their heads. They are comfortable in doing what is important at the time, and not hanging on to activities because they were once important, but letting things go as priorities change. I like this, and as I practice it more myself I'm finding it quite liberating. Insisting on finishing something because we started it can stifle learning and interest and joy, and I'm not interested in doing that. The important things do get finished because there is motivation to come back to them, and those where interest has waned can be left and it doesn't matter. The learning happens in the doing of tasks, not the completion of them, and I love that I'm really learning how to enjoy and prioritise the process, not the end product.
Showing posts with label saying yes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saying yes. Show all posts
Friday, 20 March 2015
Monday, 16 February 2015
A weekend at home
We've had a few quiet days at home over the weekend and Friday, and it's been lovely. Interesting though how different those days can feel, even though they might look the same on the surface (just hanging out at home playing and reading and talking).
Friday felt like the perfect home day to me. There was nowhere else I'd rather be and nothing that I'd rather be doing than whatever I was doing at any given time. Really being able to go with what the kids and I want to do makes a massive difference to how I feel about my day - when I get caught up in (my) anxiety about whether we 'should' be doing something or not, it impacts greatly on how happy and content I feel about the day (Saturday was more like that).
On Friday I was up early and went for a walk, watered my plants etc. Tony has been starting work at 7, so it's easy for me to get up at 6 when his alarm goes off, rather than waking myself and lying there for a while wondering if I should try to get more sleep or get up and get going. I had a bit of time to myself in the morning, then the kids got up and we were all in a good mood. We played lego - the kids built and played games with their creations, I played a bit and spent a lot of time sorting the lego table (everything had become all mixed up, and we'd been storing other things on the table as well - that's all cleared now). We watched movies - Barbie as the Island Princess, and Mumma Mia (I hadn't seen it before and realised I knew NOTHING about it other than the fact that it contained ABBA songs. I quite enjoyed it, although I think it would be much better as a stage show than a movie). We played Minecraft and Terraria - individually and together throughout the day. We played other iPad games, again sometimes as a group, sometimes alone. We read books - I'm reading Eragon to LiAM, and the girls listen when they feel like it. I read other library books as well. I tidied things up in between playing with the kids, we had lots of great conversations, everything went smoothly. In the evening we were planning to go and see the Penguins of Madagascar at Bayswater Outdoor Cinema, but there was a thunderstorm so the event was cancelled. We were all disappointed, although I was happy to stay home. I suggested we invite our friends over who we were planning to meet there - they also mainly felt like staying home, except for Caitlin's friend S, who came for a sleepover. The girls chatted and played on the swings and played Terraria and watched Mumma Mia again, LiAM joined them for a while. They went to bed after I did, but I don't think they stayed up as late as they sometimes do.
A lot of rain came with the thunderstorm on Friday night (yay, rain! We have had very little this summer) and it was still raining on Saturday morning. Caitlin had wanted to take her friend to meet our neighbour, E - she lives next door by herself and loves having the kids come to visit. They can easily walk or ride there through the front of our property. The rain made this trip more difficult, and S was going home early as she had things on that day, so Caitlin started the day feeling a bit disappointed. I was feeling anxious as well, not about anything in particular, just a general all round anxiety, so even though we did many of the same things we'd done the day before, it didn't run as smoothly. I think I was trying too hard to make things better for Caitlin because she was disappointed, but also wanted to have an easy day, and it got a bit tense. It was still a pretty good day though. We played and sorted more lego, played Minecraft, played cards (Go Fish, and Up and Down the River), Millie watched more Barbie movies on the computer. LiAM played Pacman 2 on the Playstation. The kids went next door to see E after it stopped raining, and they decided to write letters to her grandkids who live in America. They came home and wrote the letters and Caitlin rode back over to drop them off, and fell off her bike on the way back. She has a sore wrist and ankle and hip but no bad injuries. Tony came home late in the evening from work and watched the cricket, while Caitlin and LiAM and I took one of our broody chickens (and her eggs and nesting box) to a friend's house, as they would like more chickens and we have quite a few at the moment!
Yesterday was calmer again. I was able to say yes more easily to things the kids asked me to do (playing games, food they'd like me to prepare for them etc) - when I'm anxious I find it harder to say yes, even if I'm happy to do it. I am just more distracted and can't concentrate as easily - so I'm hoping to work on that, staying focussed on our home life when I'm anxious, instead of resenting the fact that I can't hide away in a corner somewhere which is what I feel like doing. I also find it helps to do lots of nurturing things like reading a book, playing on the iPad, sorting my photos - really doing what I WANT to be doing instead of running around doing housework when I'm anxious - and from there it's also much easier to say YES when the kids want me to do something with them. So yesterday, Tony was at work again (these 7 day work weeks are tough!), and we stayed home and watching movies (Island Princess again), played horses, read Batman comics, read Eragon, played on the iPad - lots of Township yesterday, me playing with the kids watching, read other library books, a bit of lego, the kids visited E again. Oh and we buried one of our little chicks who died yesterday - that was sad for all of us, one of the aspects of having animals that is less enjoyable, but also a useful way to increase understanding about life and death and impermanence and so on.
It was a hot day and we planned to go to the dam for a swim, but with no shade down there I prefer to leave it until the sun is low in the sky. We wanted to pull our camper trailer out to see if any rain had gotten through the cover (it's been damp after rain before) so Caitlin and I had a go at it while Tony was at work. It was hard going with just the 2 of us, and it was SO hot in the tent and I got a bit flustered a couple of times (and even a bit panicky when it kind of collapsed on me while I was in there) but we got it up properly - great to know we can do it without Tony, so I know I can take the kids away by myself if we want to go away during Vintage. After that we had a good rest, watched Phineas and Ferb for a while, then went to the dam for a lovely swim as the sun was setting. The water was a beautiful temperature (mainly) and Tony came home from work and joined us for a while. Back home once it was dark, for showers and getting ready for bed. The kids downloaded a new game onto the computer and played it for a while. I found a frog on the driveway when I took the bin out so we all went back out and looked at it for a while, and it surprised us by jumping quite a distance every time we stopped shining the torch on it. Then to bed, where I read more Batman comics (I'm enjoying them too, especially the chapters with Green Arrow - he's funny, and I love his relationship with Batman) and more of Eragon. I went back outside after that to find the cat who'd been out all day, I eventually enticed her in (well actually I pounced on her and carried her in by the scruff of her neck) and finally got to bed just before midnight.
Friday felt like the perfect home day to me. There was nowhere else I'd rather be and nothing that I'd rather be doing than whatever I was doing at any given time. Really being able to go with what the kids and I want to do makes a massive difference to how I feel about my day - when I get caught up in (my) anxiety about whether we 'should' be doing something or not, it impacts greatly on how happy and content I feel about the day (Saturday was more like that).
On Friday I was up early and went for a walk, watered my plants etc. Tony has been starting work at 7, so it's easy for me to get up at 6 when his alarm goes off, rather than waking myself and lying there for a while wondering if I should try to get more sleep or get up and get going. I had a bit of time to myself in the morning, then the kids got up and we were all in a good mood. We played lego - the kids built and played games with their creations, I played a bit and spent a lot of time sorting the lego table (everything had become all mixed up, and we'd been storing other things on the table as well - that's all cleared now). We watched movies - Barbie as the Island Princess, and Mumma Mia (I hadn't seen it before and realised I knew NOTHING about it other than the fact that it contained ABBA songs. I quite enjoyed it, although I think it would be much better as a stage show than a movie). We played Minecraft and Terraria - individually and together throughout the day. We played other iPad games, again sometimes as a group, sometimes alone. We read books - I'm reading Eragon to LiAM, and the girls listen when they feel like it. I read other library books as well. I tidied things up in between playing with the kids, we had lots of great conversations, everything went smoothly. In the evening we were planning to go and see the Penguins of Madagascar at Bayswater Outdoor Cinema, but there was a thunderstorm so the event was cancelled. We were all disappointed, although I was happy to stay home. I suggested we invite our friends over who we were planning to meet there - they also mainly felt like staying home, except for Caitlin's friend S, who came for a sleepover. The girls chatted and played on the swings and played Terraria and watched Mumma Mia again, LiAM joined them for a while. They went to bed after I did, but I don't think they stayed up as late as they sometimes do.
A lot of rain came with the thunderstorm on Friday night (yay, rain! We have had very little this summer) and it was still raining on Saturday morning. Caitlin had wanted to take her friend to meet our neighbour, E - she lives next door by herself and loves having the kids come to visit. They can easily walk or ride there through the front of our property. The rain made this trip more difficult, and S was going home early as she had things on that day, so Caitlin started the day feeling a bit disappointed. I was feeling anxious as well, not about anything in particular, just a general all round anxiety, so even though we did many of the same things we'd done the day before, it didn't run as smoothly. I think I was trying too hard to make things better for Caitlin because she was disappointed, but also wanted to have an easy day, and it got a bit tense. It was still a pretty good day though. We played and sorted more lego, played Minecraft, played cards (Go Fish, and Up and Down the River), Millie watched more Barbie movies on the computer. LiAM played Pacman 2 on the Playstation. The kids went next door to see E after it stopped raining, and they decided to write letters to her grandkids who live in America. They came home and wrote the letters and Caitlin rode back over to drop them off, and fell off her bike on the way back. She has a sore wrist and ankle and hip but no bad injuries. Tony came home late in the evening from work and watched the cricket, while Caitlin and LiAM and I took one of our broody chickens (and her eggs and nesting box) to a friend's house, as they would like more chickens and we have quite a few at the moment!
Yesterday was calmer again. I was able to say yes more easily to things the kids asked me to do (playing games, food they'd like me to prepare for them etc) - when I'm anxious I find it harder to say yes, even if I'm happy to do it. I am just more distracted and can't concentrate as easily - so I'm hoping to work on that, staying focussed on our home life when I'm anxious, instead of resenting the fact that I can't hide away in a corner somewhere which is what I feel like doing. I also find it helps to do lots of nurturing things like reading a book, playing on the iPad, sorting my photos - really doing what I WANT to be doing instead of running around doing housework when I'm anxious - and from there it's also much easier to say YES when the kids want me to do something with them. So yesterday, Tony was at work again (these 7 day work weeks are tough!), and we stayed home and watching movies (Island Princess again), played horses, read Batman comics, read Eragon, played on the iPad - lots of Township yesterday, me playing with the kids watching, read other library books, a bit of lego, the kids visited E again. Oh and we buried one of our little chicks who died yesterday - that was sad for all of us, one of the aspects of having animals that is less enjoyable, but also a useful way to increase understanding about life and death and impermanence and so on.
It was a hot day and we planned to go to the dam for a swim, but with no shade down there I prefer to leave it until the sun is low in the sky. We wanted to pull our camper trailer out to see if any rain had gotten through the cover (it's been damp after rain before) so Caitlin and I had a go at it while Tony was at work. It was hard going with just the 2 of us, and it was SO hot in the tent and I got a bit flustered a couple of times (and even a bit panicky when it kind of collapsed on me while I was in there) but we got it up properly - great to know we can do it without Tony, so I know I can take the kids away by myself if we want to go away during Vintage. After that we had a good rest, watched Phineas and Ferb for a while, then went to the dam for a lovely swim as the sun was setting. The water was a beautiful temperature (mainly) and Tony came home from work and joined us for a while. Back home once it was dark, for showers and getting ready for bed. The kids downloaded a new game onto the computer and played it for a while. I found a frog on the driveway when I took the bin out so we all went back out and looked at it for a while, and it surprised us by jumping quite a distance every time we stopped shining the torch on it. Then to bed, where I read more Batman comics (I'm enjoying them too, especially the chapters with Green Arrow - he's funny, and I love his relationship with Batman) and more of Eragon. I went back outside after that to find the cat who'd been out all day, I eventually enticed her in (well actually I pounced on her and carried her in by the scruff of her neck) and finally got to bed just before midnight.
Thursday, 22 January 2015
Make Believe Story Games
Lately Millie has been playing her make believe games a lot, many many times a day. The lego game she started a couple of weeks ago has developed into a complex story with lots of side plots and many changes to the main story line every day. She loves to have people play with her and we've all spent many hours playing over the past couple of weeks. I admit I don't find this type of game very easy - I get distracted quite easily, and I'm not very creative at making up the dialogue of my characters or keeping track of what everyone is supposed to be doing. If I was to choose a make believe game I'd prefer to be acting out the characters ourselves, rather than using lego or toy animals to be the characters, moving them around and making them talk, but even with the acting out games I'm not very comfortable. So I've found this game quite challenging. However I have tried to say yes every time she's asked me to play, and occasionally I've even offered to play when she wasn't asking.
At the moment this type of play, and this game, is obviously quite important to her, and I'm happy to be involved in (and want to be involved in) things that are of value to my kids at any given time. She enjoys the connection that we have when we are playing, and it is going to be much more valuable to her if we have that connection while doing something she wants to do, rather than me convincing her to join me at something I want to do (my game choice would be a board or card game, or a puzzle, or building something. Something more concrete...). I love listening to her making up the story and rejecting or changing ideas as she goes, and keeping track of who all the characters are and what they are doing. She will accept new ideas from other people sometimes, or say no if they don't fit with her idea of where the story is going. She becomes completely immersed in it at times and is really talented at setting up the story and developing her characters. Just being with her while she is having so much fun and doing amazing things is worth it even if I am not enjoying playing the game myself - I can concentrate on being with her and watching her, and then the playing bit can happen without me thinking too much about it and I no longer feel so self-conscious or uncomfortable.
I often find that after I've been playing with her for a little while, one or both of the other kids will join in as well. After another little while, they will tend to take over my characters (because they are both good at this sort of play as well and they all get a little frustrated with me when I can't keep up with the story) and there will usually be an opportunity for me to move away and do something else, without anyone being upset that I am leaving. Sometimes I can incorporate what I'm doing (cooking, cleaning, playing the piano, tidying up) into the game as well, I can be contributing something without needing to sit on the floor and move the figures around.
The more I play with Millie like this the calmer she is. She has seemed to strongly need the connection lately and there were a few days when we played this game nearly all day. The last couple of days she's still playing but for shorter periods and less often. The game has moved on a bit too from using the figures to her sometimes being a seal and me trying to find her. It's been a great reminder to me that saying yes as often as I can and meeting the kids where they are can be beneficial to all of us. It deepens our connection, it shows that I value what is important to them, and it can meet other underlying needs and help everyone be calmer. Millie is playing by herself a lot more over the last couple of days, or asking for books to be read or to do other activities together (we've done puzzles and some great drawing) - so that is also good to remember - sometimes it feels like an interest will last forever, I had moments of thinking I'd be sitting on the floor playing lego stories every day this year - but interests peak and flow, and immersing myself in the kids interests as much as I can when they are peaking will always be an investment that will pay off - they will feel valued and know that their needs and wants are important, and they are able to move between interests without leaving one feeling that they didn't quite receive their fill.
At the moment this type of play, and this game, is obviously quite important to her, and I'm happy to be involved in (and want to be involved in) things that are of value to my kids at any given time. She enjoys the connection that we have when we are playing, and it is going to be much more valuable to her if we have that connection while doing something she wants to do, rather than me convincing her to join me at something I want to do (my game choice would be a board or card game, or a puzzle, or building something. Something more concrete...). I love listening to her making up the story and rejecting or changing ideas as she goes, and keeping track of who all the characters are and what they are doing. She will accept new ideas from other people sometimes, or say no if they don't fit with her idea of where the story is going. She becomes completely immersed in it at times and is really talented at setting up the story and developing her characters. Just being with her while she is having so much fun and doing amazing things is worth it even if I am not enjoying playing the game myself - I can concentrate on being with her and watching her, and then the playing bit can happen without me thinking too much about it and I no longer feel so self-conscious or uncomfortable.
I often find that after I've been playing with her for a little while, one or both of the other kids will join in as well. After another little while, they will tend to take over my characters (because they are both good at this sort of play as well and they all get a little frustrated with me when I can't keep up with the story) and there will usually be an opportunity for me to move away and do something else, without anyone being upset that I am leaving. Sometimes I can incorporate what I'm doing (cooking, cleaning, playing the piano, tidying up) into the game as well, I can be contributing something without needing to sit on the floor and move the figures around.
The more I play with Millie like this the calmer she is. She has seemed to strongly need the connection lately and there were a few days when we played this game nearly all day. The last couple of days she's still playing but for shorter periods and less often. The game has moved on a bit too from using the figures to her sometimes being a seal and me trying to find her. It's been a great reminder to me that saying yes as often as I can and meeting the kids where they are can be beneficial to all of us. It deepens our connection, it shows that I value what is important to them, and it can meet other underlying needs and help everyone be calmer. Millie is playing by herself a lot more over the last couple of days, or asking for books to be read or to do other activities together (we've done puzzles and some great drawing) - so that is also good to remember - sometimes it feels like an interest will last forever, I had moments of thinking I'd be sitting on the floor playing lego stories every day this year - but interests peak and flow, and immersing myself in the kids interests as much as I can when they are peaking will always be an investment that will pay off - they will feel valued and know that their needs and wants are important, and they are able to move between interests without leaving one feeling that they didn't quite receive their fill.
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
Superman
Yesterday we watched 5 Superman movies.
That wasn't the original plan - in the morning we put on Superman, The Movie, and everyone enjoyed it so someone suggested watching Superman 2, and then Superman 3, Superman 4 (the Quest for Peace) and Superman Returns followed. (we borrowed a box set from the library recently after watching Man of Steel and wanting to compare the older Superman movies with the newer one). We had gaps in between each movie, and no one sat and watched a whole movie without doing other things as well, we just had them on as we went about our day and stayed for the bits that caught our attention. It was a lot of fun.
While the movies were on we also
- played board games - mainly Rivers, Roads and Rails (although our version (from the toy library) has artwork on it, the pictures in that link just have coloured lines)
- did lots of puzzles
- played games on the iPad and iPod, individually and together
- played with toy animals
- played with figurines
- played with soft toys
- pretended to be fairies and animals
- pretended to be Superman and various bad guys
- talked on the phone
- prepared and ate 2 hot meals and lots of snacks
- played the piano and the drums
- designed and made birthday cards
- played with and took care of the kitten
- took care of the chickens and checked on our baby chicks
- did a little bit of housework
- discussed the differences between these movies, Man of Steel, and the Marvel superhero movies
- asked lots and lots of questions, had discussions and looked things up about the movie plot lines, actors, characters and locations. Like - I know Superman is fast, but he seems to flit back and forth between San Francisco and New York quite a lot and it doesn't take any time at all. Or really, does no one other than Lois notice that Clark Kent goes missing a lot of the time. And Clark Kent is really amazingly controlled - how difficult would it be to pretend to have no strength at all when you are really the strongest person in the world. And before you make major life decisions, like, say, choosing to give up your super powers - its probably a good idea to take a day or 2 to think about it (and check that there's not a world disaster happening at the time....). And the main Superman music was written by the same guy (John Williams) who wrote a lot of the Harry Potter music, and Star Wars - is the music similar, what else did he write for (and we also have a CD of his compositions from the library, so we'll listen to it today). And why do ALL the Superman movies end with exactly the same scene - some of us liked the linkage and closure that provided, others felt it was a bit silly. And if we were Superheroes - would we save our friends first or the big cities, would we have a boyfriend/girlfriend, would we tell people who we were.... We talked all day about Superman (and other topics) and made so many links to other things we knew or had wondered about, it was a restful day full of so much learning, I'm glad I was able to keep saying 'yes' everytime someone asked if we could watch the next movie.
That wasn't the original plan - in the morning we put on Superman, The Movie, and everyone enjoyed it so someone suggested watching Superman 2, and then Superman 3, Superman 4 (the Quest for Peace) and Superman Returns followed. (we borrowed a box set from the library recently after watching Man of Steel and wanting to compare the older Superman movies with the newer one). We had gaps in between each movie, and no one sat and watched a whole movie without doing other things as well, we just had them on as we went about our day and stayed for the bits that caught our attention. It was a lot of fun.
While the movies were on we also
- played board games - mainly Rivers, Roads and Rails (although our version (from the toy library) has artwork on it, the pictures in that link just have coloured lines)
- did lots of puzzles
- played games on the iPad and iPod, individually and together
- played with toy animals
- played with figurines
- played with soft toys
- pretended to be fairies and animals
- pretended to be Superman and various bad guys
- talked on the phone
- prepared and ate 2 hot meals and lots of snacks
- played the piano and the drums
- designed and made birthday cards
- played with and took care of the kitten
- took care of the chickens and checked on our baby chicks
- did a little bit of housework
- discussed the differences between these movies, Man of Steel, and the Marvel superhero movies
- asked lots and lots of questions, had discussions and looked things up about the movie plot lines, actors, characters and locations. Like - I know Superman is fast, but he seems to flit back and forth between San Francisco and New York quite a lot and it doesn't take any time at all. Or really, does no one other than Lois notice that Clark Kent goes missing a lot of the time. And Clark Kent is really amazingly controlled - how difficult would it be to pretend to have no strength at all when you are really the strongest person in the world. And before you make major life decisions, like, say, choosing to give up your super powers - its probably a good idea to take a day or 2 to think about it (and check that there's not a world disaster happening at the time....). And the main Superman music was written by the same guy (John Williams) who wrote a lot of the Harry Potter music, and Star Wars - is the music similar, what else did he write for (and we also have a CD of his compositions from the library, so we'll listen to it today). And why do ALL the Superman movies end with exactly the same scene - some of us liked the linkage and closure that provided, others felt it was a bit silly. And if we were Superheroes - would we save our friends first or the big cities, would we have a boyfriend/girlfriend, would we tell people who we were.... We talked all day about Superman (and other topics) and made so many links to other things we knew or had wondered about, it was a restful day full of so much learning, I'm glad I was able to keep saying 'yes' everytime someone asked if we could watch the next movie.
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Best Halloween Ever
(I wrote this post the day after Halloween but was having internet problems and didn't get it past draft stage - then remembered this morning that I hadn't published it yet)
As fun as last year's Halloween celebrations were, the kids have been saying since then that this year they would like to go trick-or-treating in town. I knew that some of their friends had done it in the past, and I'd seen kids in costumes going from door to door in our local town on Halloween over the last couple of years, so I knew that some households at least wouldn't be overly surprised by a knock on the door by costumed kids.
As the day drew closer they talked about it on and off and were definitely keen to go. We were all sick in the week leading up to Halloween so I did wonder if the idea would fizzle out. Liam realised early in the day that it was Halloween (he must have seen ads on TV saying that it would be on Thursday, and was counting down in his head) so we watched some Halloween themed TV shows and Caitlin started thinking about her costume.
Caitlin went with a similar outfit to last year, although by this time I had found the cool witches hat (it had been hiding under my bed) and she had a great black dress and black boots to round off the costume. Liam was a dragon again and Millie a ghost again. Tony came with us into town as I wasn't feeling well enough to manage it by myself. Caitlin had gone to a friend's house for the afternoon so we picked her up, she got changed in the car and we were ready to go.
Caitlin and Liam were quite confident knocking on doors and saying 'Trick or Treat' (although next year they are going to say 'Happy Halloween') and most people who were home had a basket of lollies for them to choose from. Millie was a bit slower (and after a couple of houses Tony modified her costume so she could get her arms out and the eye holes didn't slip away from her eyes, and tied the front of it up so she could walk up steps) - if she didn't make it to a front door Caitlin always let the person know that her sister was coming and could she have something for her too.
We saw about 6 other groups of kids out in costume as well, and there was quite a party feel to the evening. We just did a couple of local streets, and it was much more fun than I'd expected. The kids went to the doors and we stood back where we could see them, lots of other parents were doing the same thing and it felt like a community experience.
Millie was the only ghost that we saw and Liam the only dragon - and one lady pointed out that Caitlin was the only witch with gold hair - so they came home feeling that their costumes were pretty special.
Each of them received a decent haul of lollies and on the way home Liam said that it was the 'Best Halloween Ever'. They've been slowly working through their stash, there's still a bit left, and they've traded things they don't like with the others, or kept some to give to friends.
We also looked up the history of Trick-or-treating and quite liked the idea that originally kids were given sweets or cakes in return for singing songs or saying prayers for the dead. We've been thinking about the dead this week with the anniversary of Tony's Mum's death, and we sent our thoughts out for the loved ones of the people we approached on Halloween, so it feels like we are tapping in to that old tradition.
As fun as last year's Halloween celebrations were, the kids have been saying since then that this year they would like to go trick-or-treating in town. I knew that some of their friends had done it in the past, and I'd seen kids in costumes going from door to door in our local town on Halloween over the last couple of years, so I knew that some households at least wouldn't be overly surprised by a knock on the door by costumed kids.
As the day drew closer they talked about it on and off and were definitely keen to go. We were all sick in the week leading up to Halloween so I did wonder if the idea would fizzle out. Liam realised early in the day that it was Halloween (he must have seen ads on TV saying that it would be on Thursday, and was counting down in his head) so we watched some Halloween themed TV shows and Caitlin started thinking about her costume.
Caitlin went with a similar outfit to last year, although by this time I had found the cool witches hat (it had been hiding under my bed) and she had a great black dress and black boots to round off the costume. Liam was a dragon again and Millie a ghost again. Tony came with us into town as I wasn't feeling well enough to manage it by myself. Caitlin had gone to a friend's house for the afternoon so we picked her up, she got changed in the car and we were ready to go.
Caitlin and Liam were quite confident knocking on doors and saying 'Trick or Treat' (although next year they are going to say 'Happy Halloween') and most people who were home had a basket of lollies for them to choose from. Millie was a bit slower (and after a couple of houses Tony modified her costume so she could get her arms out and the eye holes didn't slip away from her eyes, and tied the front of it up so she could walk up steps) - if she didn't make it to a front door Caitlin always let the person know that her sister was coming and could she have something for her too.
Millie was the only ghost that we saw and Liam the only dragon - and one lady pointed out that Caitlin was the only witch with gold hair - so they came home feeling that their costumes were pretty special.
Each of them received a decent haul of lollies and on the way home Liam said that it was the 'Best Halloween Ever'. They've been slowly working through their stash, there's still a bit left, and they've traded things they don't like with the others, or kept some to give to friends.
We also looked up the history of Trick-or-treating and quite liked the idea that originally kids were given sweets or cakes in return for singing songs or saying prayers for the dead. We've been thinking about the dead this week with the anniversary of Tony's Mum's death, and we sent our thoughts out for the loved ones of the people we approached on Halloween, so it feels like we are tapping in to that old tradition.
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Climbing Trees
There has been a lot of tree climbing happening for us lately. Well, not for me so much, I prefer to stay on the ground, but the kids have been climbing and I've been watching, helping, discussing, taking photos and generally been involved in the activity while not actually taking part in the bit that involves heights.
There's been wonderful fig trees to climb at the Botanic Gardens and at Collingwood Childrens Farm.
We watched Stripey go up an oak tree and then walk across a beautiful horizontal branch to end up on top of the chicken shed, so Liam tried it and has found a wonderful place to hang out and be alone. There were trees to explore in the bush near our tent at the Eco Festival in Yarra Junction.
Yesterday while I was pushing each of the kids in turn on our big swing, the others climbed the tree that the swing is hung from. Stripey went up as well, then Buckley came to the bottom and barked incessantly at him (he was so intent on barking at the cat that he wasn't interested in chasing his ball - those of you who know Buckley know how hard it is to distract him from ball chasing, so this cat-up-a-tree business was obviously extremely engaging). Anyway, Caitlin was worried that Stripey wouldn't be able to get down, so decided to go up after him. She tried to follow him the way he went, but the branches were a bit steep. So she came down and went up one of the smaller trees underneath the big one, and was nearly able to pull herself up onto a big branch. Liam tried it as well but found the distances between small tree and big branch a bit much. Caitlin ended up with a lot of scratches but seemed to have a lot of fun.
In the Botanic Gardens last week Caitlin pushed herself quite hard and climbed out on some very long branches with challenging forks in them. She said she was stuck a few times, and it can seem that she's scared - but I think really she's just not sure which way to go next/where to put her hands and feet in order to keep moving. She stops and asks for help, and can seem to resist suggestions for a little while, but she processes it all, listens and thinks and looks, and then she's able to move on. When she really gets scared she stops and comes back down.
Its been interesting to watch my reactions to each of the three of them climbing, and also the different ways that they react to tricky bits or when they reach their limit. They are all quite adept at recognising their limits, and while Caitlin's limits are WAY beyond where I would be comfortable myself, I know that she will stop and calm down before trying to come back down, and also that she can be talked through it if she does get stuck or too scared. Liam's limits are more within my own comfort range, and he likes to have help to navigate back if he's become scared. Often just putting my hand on his body somewhere, or even standing right underneath him, is enough to calm him down and he'll be able to get back. Millie's limits are, I think, way beyond Caitlin's. She's normally stopped by physical limitations way before she gets scared. I'm a bit more nervous watching her, simply because I don't know if I'd be able to talk her down, she often wants physical help when she gets stuck/scared - and often that happens at a point where I'd be too scared to go myself.
A couple of weeks ago the kids were climbing up an irresistable wall that looked a lot like a ladder. We were with some friends and all the children were climbing as high as they felt comfortable. Millie went right to the top, then headed out across the roof part, which was constructed in the same way. As soon as she started to go across, my anxiety levels sky-rocketed - not because I was worried that she would fall (I was confident she wouldn't) but because if she got scared or stuck, I didn't know if I would be be able to talk her down, and I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to go up there and get her down... Luckily one of my friends who was there is quite a good climber and quite comfortable with heights, so I asked her to look after Millie and I wandered away a little bit and watched from a distance. L was able to talk her through climbing most of the way across the roof and then turning around and coming back, and she had a wonderful time. L said that Millie was fine as long as they maintained eye-contact, so maybe that's something I can use next time.
In the past I used to not want to help them get up tricky bits in the tree - I would say something like 'If you can't get up yourself then you won't be able to get down' - which is something I heard myself as a child and have heard other adults say. Now I think about it very differently - often the first bit of the tree is quite high, with wonderful, more easily accessible branches once you get past that first bit. Its not fair to stop the smaller children climbing in that part, just because they can't get up the first step. And if I'm there to help them up, then I can be there to help them down as well. So I've given lots of legs up and lifted people down from branches and trunks and I'm looking forward to exploring many many more trees in our adventures together.
There's been wonderful fig trees to climb at the Botanic Gardens and at Collingwood Childrens Farm.
In the Botanic Gardens last week Caitlin pushed herself quite hard and climbed out on some very long branches with challenging forks in them. She said she was stuck a few times, and it can seem that she's scared - but I think really she's just not sure which way to go next/where to put her hands and feet in order to keep moving. She stops and asks for help, and can seem to resist suggestions for a little while, but she processes it all, listens and thinks and looks, and then she's able to move on. When she really gets scared she stops and comes back down.
Its been interesting to watch my reactions to each of the three of them climbing, and also the different ways that they react to tricky bits or when they reach their limit. They are all quite adept at recognising their limits, and while Caitlin's limits are WAY beyond where I would be comfortable myself, I know that she will stop and calm down before trying to come back down, and also that she can be talked through it if she does get stuck or too scared. Liam's limits are more within my own comfort range, and he likes to have help to navigate back if he's become scared. Often just putting my hand on his body somewhere, or even standing right underneath him, is enough to calm him down and he'll be able to get back. Millie's limits are, I think, way beyond Caitlin's. She's normally stopped by physical limitations way before she gets scared. I'm a bit more nervous watching her, simply because I don't know if I'd be able to talk her down, she often wants physical help when she gets stuck/scared - and often that happens at a point where I'd be too scared to go myself.
A couple of weeks ago the kids were climbing up an irresistable wall that looked a lot like a ladder. We were with some friends and all the children were climbing as high as they felt comfortable. Millie went right to the top, then headed out across the roof part, which was constructed in the same way. As soon as she started to go across, my anxiety levels sky-rocketed - not because I was worried that she would fall (I was confident she wouldn't) but because if she got scared or stuck, I didn't know if I would be be able to talk her down, and I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to go up there and get her down... Luckily one of my friends who was there is quite a good climber and quite comfortable with heights, so I asked her to look after Millie and I wandered away a little bit and watched from a distance. L was able to talk her through climbing most of the way across the roof and then turning around and coming back, and she had a wonderful time. L said that Millie was fine as long as they maintained eye-contact, so maybe that's something I can use next time.
In the past I used to not want to help them get up tricky bits in the tree - I would say something like 'If you can't get up yourself then you won't be able to get down' - which is something I heard myself as a child and have heard other adults say. Now I think about it very differently - often the first bit of the tree is quite high, with wonderful, more easily accessible branches once you get past that first bit. Its not fair to stop the smaller children climbing in that part, just because they can't get up the first step. And if I'm there to help them up, then I can be there to help them down as well. So I've given lots of legs up and lifted people down from branches and trunks and I'm looking forward to exploring many many more trees in our adventures together.
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Dioramas and library
Well I did get a lot done on Wednesday when I was here alone, cleaned out a lot of those corners that get filled with stuff, and cleared out the hallway so now its full of nothing but space! It was tiring and it also felt good to really get stuck into one task for several hours.
The kids were disappointed that they missed the nets going on the vines. However they also had a lot of fun at Grandma's, watching the renovations happening, playing games and reading books with Grandma and Grandad, and Caitlin learned how to read music and play the piano! Mum had bought a book at the 2nd hand bookstore where she volunteers, and it set the whole process out very simply so that Caitlin was able to follow the steps and learn each of the notes and then play some simple tunes. She was very excited and its spurred me on to start researching (and then get on with purchasing) our piano.
We tried to have a quiet day at home on Thursday as a bit of a chance to rest - its been a busy week with more busy days coming up over the weekend and the next few weeks. Caitlin got out the glue gun and began making a diorama to represent Millie and her friend getting married, and she started planning the 'wedding' and invitations. She's put a lot of work into it and its very pretty and clever. I love the way she plans things and can picture a whole event and everything that needs to be organised.
Yesterday we went to visit a friend who is shortly moving to New Zealand (quite sad for us) and then went to the Homeschool Library Activity in Yarra Junction. We had 4 families there and we all know each other well, it was a wonderfully relaxing afternoon hanging out in the children's section of the library, doing the craft activity, reading lots of books, some of the kids played Monopoly, some played on the ipad, the big girls (Caitlin and S) and Millie went out and used the internet for a while on the library computers, the parents chatted in between reading stories. Caitlin borrowed a HUGE pile of books about animals - she went through the shelves and picked all the covers she liked - it was funny, it pushed my buttons about how many books it was 'OK' to borrow, but I did get them all for her, especially because I realised *I* didn't care how many she got, I was simply worried (quite worried) about what everyone else would think.... I'm still feeling the desire to justify it here, but really, I was happy to be able to say yes to her borrowing wishes.
The kids were disappointed that they missed the nets going on the vines. However they also had a lot of fun at Grandma's, watching the renovations happening, playing games and reading books with Grandma and Grandad, and Caitlin learned how to read music and play the piano! Mum had bought a book at the 2nd hand bookstore where she volunteers, and it set the whole process out very simply so that Caitlin was able to follow the steps and learn each of the notes and then play some simple tunes. She was very excited and its spurred me on to start researching (and then get on with purchasing) our piano.
We tried to have a quiet day at home on Thursday as a bit of a chance to rest - its been a busy week with more busy days coming up over the weekend and the next few weeks. Caitlin got out the glue gun and began making a diorama to represent Millie and her friend getting married, and she started planning the 'wedding' and invitations. She's put a lot of work into it and its very pretty and clever. I love the way she plans things and can picture a whole event and everything that needs to be organised.
Yesterday we went to visit a friend who is shortly moving to New Zealand (quite sad for us) and then went to the Homeschool Library Activity in Yarra Junction. We had 4 families there and we all know each other well, it was a wonderfully relaxing afternoon hanging out in the children's section of the library, doing the craft activity, reading lots of books, some of the kids played Monopoly, some played on the ipad, the big girls (Caitlin and S) and Millie went out and used the internet for a while on the library computers, the parents chatted in between reading stories. Caitlin borrowed a HUGE pile of books about animals - she went through the shelves and picked all the covers she liked - it was funny, it pushed my buttons about how many books it was 'OK' to borrow, but I did get them all for her, especially because I realised *I* didn't care how many she got, I was simply worried (quite worried) about what everyone else would think.... I'm still feeling the desire to justify it here, but really, I was happy to be able to say yes to her borrowing wishes.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Insect hunting and fishing
Yesterday I bought Liam a fishing/bug catching net. I'd seen them at the discount store in town when it opened a few weeks ago, and had been meaning to buy him one. Caitlin was going to my friend's house for the afternoon and Liam was disappointed that he couldn't stay - I offered to buy him the net as compensation for coming to the shops and then home with me, and he was thrilled. We did some groceries first, then he asked for the money to go and get his net, and ran ahead to the shop. When I got there he was coming out the door, looking very disappointed, and the people in the shop were looking concerned. He said he'd asked for it and they said they didn't have them anymore - there were certainly none in the bucket at the front door like I'd seen previously! He was starting to get upset, and I said we'd have a look and then I'd ask again. Up the back, in a tub with all the left over Halloween gear, there was ONE net - and it was blue, perfect for Liam! So, waving it triumphantly and luckily not knocking anything of the shelf, he took it up the front and paid for it himself (which is a new thing he's started doing recently).
He chased Millie with it and caught her a few times on the way back to the car, and couldn't wait to get home to try it out on bugs. He rushed into the yard as soon as we pulled up and ran around after bugs and birds and bees, but wasn't able to catch anything. I tried to help for a while but I had no luck either. (On Monday there was a swarm of bugs through the yard and it would have been impossible not to catch anything, but most of them had moved on by yesterday afternoon). Liam said he'd like to try to catch some fish with it and wanted to go down to the dam. I'd been feeling dizzy and light headed all day and didn't feel up to a walk to the dam, which I explained to him. He suggested we drive - at first I thought 'I'm not driving such a short distance' (my instinctual response) then realised that it could be the difference between him getting to the dam or not.
So Millie and Liam and I jumped in the car - Millie wanted her seatbelt on, while Liam was excited about not needing it as we were just on the property - and we drove down. As we approached the dam there was a bird of prey hovering near the edge, it moved ahead of us as I slowly pulled in, then landed at the the edge of the water for a drink. It was bigger than the birds we normally see hovering around here, with a speckled brown coat and white underneath its tail. We looked it up in the Field Guide to Victorian Fauna on the ipad when we got home, and I think it was a Little Eagle. I've never seen one before and it certainly made the trip to the dam worthwhile!
Liam fished in the dam for a while and I was going to stay in the car and rest, then thought a better decision would be to hop out and enjoy the wind and the fresh air and the feel of the dam. I scooped up some mud for him with his net and we found one little slimy creature. He was so happy playing there, and after a few minutes he said he'd had enough and we could go home and dry out his net. We tried to catch a few bugs from the reeds around the dam, and I got one - the same ones that were swarming on Monday so he wasn't overly interested as he'd caught several of them with his hands. We drove home with the net out the window to see if we caught anything in passing - I don't think we did, however he was satisfied that we'd really given his net a good try out and he no longer seemed to care that we hadn't caught anything.
The whole trip to the dam was a really lovely 10 minutes and I'm so glad I was able to say yes and find a way to make it happen, rather than dismissing his excitement and saying I was too unwell to go.
He chased Millie with it and caught her a few times on the way back to the car, and couldn't wait to get home to try it out on bugs. He rushed into the yard as soon as we pulled up and ran around after bugs and birds and bees, but wasn't able to catch anything. I tried to help for a while but I had no luck either. (On Monday there was a swarm of bugs through the yard and it would have been impossible not to catch anything, but most of them had moved on by yesterday afternoon). Liam said he'd like to try to catch some fish with it and wanted to go down to the dam. I'd been feeling dizzy and light headed all day and didn't feel up to a walk to the dam, which I explained to him. He suggested we drive - at first I thought 'I'm not driving such a short distance' (my instinctual response) then realised that it could be the difference between him getting to the dam or not.
So Millie and Liam and I jumped in the car - Millie wanted her seatbelt on, while Liam was excited about not needing it as we were just on the property - and we drove down. As we approached the dam there was a bird of prey hovering near the edge, it moved ahead of us as I slowly pulled in, then landed at the the edge of the water for a drink. It was bigger than the birds we normally see hovering around here, with a speckled brown coat and white underneath its tail. We looked it up in the Field Guide to Victorian Fauna on the ipad when we got home, and I think it was a Little Eagle. I've never seen one before and it certainly made the trip to the dam worthwhile!
Liam fished in the dam for a while and I was going to stay in the car and rest, then thought a better decision would be to hop out and enjoy the wind and the fresh air and the feel of the dam. I scooped up some mud for him with his net and we found one little slimy creature. He was so happy playing there, and after a few minutes he said he'd had enough and we could go home and dry out his net. We tried to catch a few bugs from the reeds around the dam, and I got one - the same ones that were swarming on Monday so he wasn't overly interested as he'd caught several of them with his hands. We drove home with the net out the window to see if we caught anything in passing - I don't think we did, however he was satisfied that we'd really given his net a good try out and he no longer seemed to care that we hadn't caught anything.
The whole trip to the dam was a really lovely 10 minutes and I'm so glad I was able to say yes and find a way to make it happen, rather than dismissing his excitement and saying I was too unwell to go.
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