Lockdown 2.0, Days 87 - 94

 I missed a couple of days writing the blog due to busy evenings, and the longer it went on the harder it was to come back and catch up. I'll give it a go now. I've been feeling good this week, so perhaps feeling positive has meant that I don't feel the need to document quite so much - although the good days are much more interesting to write about than the low days.

Saturday last week was a very relaxing day. Earlier in the week I'd let everyone know I wanted most of the day to myself, I had a book that I wanted to read in one day, because I knew I'd get so involved in it and not want to put it down. I spent most of the day on the couch in the carport, reading my book and it was fabulous (the book was Ironheart, the 2nd book in the Valentine series, a teen paranormal mystery/romance). Our Narbethong friends called in in the afternoon to pick up some food that had been delivered to our place (because they don't deliver over the Spur) - it was so wonderful to see them and have a chat for a while. After they left I went back to my book and finished mid-afternoon, I felt relaxed and happy and grateful that I'd had the opportunity to nurture myself like that.

Sunday I pottered around the house and did some serious research on MacBooks. I talked to a friend and he helped me sort out exactly what I wanted, and on Sunday night I ordered one, finally, after months of research and thinking.

Monday we went to Healesville to do the shopping, Caitlin and Liam met up with their friend and went for a walk, Amelie and I went to Coles, the bulk food shop and Aldi. It was pretty cold and wet but the kids still found interesting places to walk. In the afternoon my friend picked up my new MacBook from JB Hifi and delivered it to my place - SO exciting!!!!! I spent the rest of the day setting it up and playing with it, it's so great and I am so so so happy with it. And so happy that I finally made the decision just to buy it. Having a working keyboard and a laptop that doesn't freeze up every 10 minutes has made everything I've done on it this week so much more efficient and enjoyable.

Tuesday I played on my computer a bunch more, had my Yarra Glen Zoom meeting in the afternoon, popped down to Healesville to get my milk and chatted to my friend when he came to pick up some more food that had been delivered here.In the evening I watched Shaun of the Dead on my new computer - a great screen for watching TV on. And I loved the movie too.

Wednesday I woke up in the best mood I've been in for a good while. I felt excited about the possibilities that the day could bring - vastly different from feeling like the day was just one more day to get through. Caitlin and I went to Yarra Glen to the Post Office and picked up 7 packages! We called in to the Chocolate Factory on the way home to get some beetroot relish (she had it on her Smashed Avo on her birthday and loved it) and drove home the long way. I had a couple of beers and a FaceTime call with a friend in the evening. 

I'd had an iced coffee from the IGA on Wednesday, and I could not get to sleep on Wednesday night. I eventually slept for 2 hours, woke up for a while, slept for another 2 hours then was awake for the day before 6am. I'd wanted to spend a whole day this week working on my photos, so I figured Thursday was a good time to do that seeing as I felt exhausted and lethargic. It was a lot of fun, sitting on the couch and doing a heap of photo organising and posting. 

Friday I planned to do a heap of tidying but it didn't really happen. I'd had another terrible night's sleep - late to fall asleep and awake before 5 this time! I spent a lot of time talking to Caitlin while she crocheted, and doing bits and pieces around the house in between more work on the computer. We went for a walk in the afternoon and I was feeling a bit flat but then we played fun music on my phone, using the lyrics of each song to inspire our choice of the next song, and that really picked me up. Our yoga practice was the last day in a 30 day session, and it was kind of a freestyle session - there was no verbal direction, we could copy what she was doing or do what poses felt right for us. It was a little challenging mentally but a lot of fun and it was cool to see how much we'd learnt in the 30 days. In the evening I watched a couple of episodes of The Long Way Round - Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman's motorcycle trip around the world. 

Today I did get a lot more tidying done, as well as more photo work. I did half of the mending - a whole tub's worth of clothes either mended or put in the rag pile (some were just not worth mending). Some of that has been sitting there for many many years, it was so exciting to get it done! Caitlin and I walked to the back of the property and over a creek to a little peninsula of land bordered by Paul's Creek, the tributary that runs across the back fence of our place, and the fence which borders the farm behind us. It is so beautiful over there, and it feels so deserted and far from civilisation. We had to jump across the creek to get there - I thought I'd end up in the water but I made it (with a bit of help from Caitlin). On the way back we crossed another creek, and then went for a swim in the dam - it was cold, but so beautiful to be in the water looking at the clouds and the mountains. This evening Tony is watching the Collingwood v Geelong semi-final and it's not going well for Collingwood.

All week we've been watching the swallows who have a nest above our back door. They have 3 chicks in there and it's been fascinating to watch the parents come and go feeding the chicks - 3 huge beaks appear from the nest and gobble down the food. Yesterday they emerged from the nest and learned to fly - that was even more amazing to watch. They are tiny, and still fluffy underneath, and still have massive yellow, wide beaks. Otherwise they look like their parents. They sit on the ledge above the window and flatten themselves down so they just look like a couple of feathers. Then they jump off and fly away. They aren't great at landing but they got better at it as the day went on.

We've also been watching a live webcam of the peregrine falcons on top of a building in Melbourne https://www.367collinsfalcons.com.au. That has provided hours of entertainment for us this week.

We've gone for walks every day and Caitlin and I have done yoga every day. Amelie jumps on the trampoline and talks to her friends on the phone or Skype, plays the SIMS and Among Us and makes YouTube videos. Liam has been playing a lot of Terraria and talking to his friends on Discord. 

The numbers are low but maybe not low enough. Sitting around the 10 mark and we need them to be below 5. Another week until the next restriction announcement but it's unlikely we'll be fully able to go to Step 3. Maybe some new things will be allowed though.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 59

 Today was unexpectedly quite interesting and varied - a nice change to most lockdown days. I woke around 7 and after doing some writing went out for a walk - I decided to drive down Houghtons Lane so that I could walk somewhere different without having to walk to the different place, it was nice to have a different view on my walk and explore a new area. I took my camera and got a few good shots too. It was also quite reassuring that my car started with no issues.

I planned to spend the rest of the day pottering around the house. Amelie had had a bad morning so I hung out with her for a while. Liam and I worked on a number puzzle that has me stumped. The kids and I all played Among Us for an hour or so. My earaches have been getting more frequent and Caitlin's throat has been sore for a while, so we decided to have another COVID test just to be sure. The testing facility at Healesville said it was open from 12-3 Mon-Sat so we headed down there (stopping briefly to see the Masked Lapwings and their babies on the way into town - we only saw one baby, he was quite well camouflaged so the others could have been hiding there too). The testing centre was closed when we arrived at 12.30 and remained so while we researched where else we could go. It looked like Knox Westfield was the best option, so we went for the longest drive I've been on in a while! It felt like so far away, but it's just down the road from Caitlin's Cheer gym - so I drive that far several times a week usually. The roads were steady with traffic but not busy - and when we arrived at Knox it was bizarre to see empty carparks - just cars near the supermarket entrances. The testing centre is a drivethrough one here so we stayed in the car and had our tests - mine was the easiest I've had so far, Caitlin's was more uncomfortable. Driving home I was confused a couple of times which was the best way to go but I soon remembered the way I usually go. It was enjoyable being in the car with Caitlin and chatting and listening to music.

At home I did some dishes and some of my outside work, then did some of my course. Caitlin and Tony went for a bike ride (Liam had gone while we were out), then Caitlin helped Amelie with riding her bike. Caitlin then cooked brownies, I played the piano, Amelie played on the trampoline and Liam on his computer. Caitlin went for another walk, and found a baby wombat with it's mother - she rang Wildlife Victoria and they were going to send someone out. We all went down to see it (it was on the edge of Houghton's Lane and so incredibly cute, and definitely alone. It kept falling asleep while we watched it). A volunteer rang and was still a while away and suggested that we take it back to the house, especially as it was nearly dark. Caitlin threw a jumper over it and got her hands on it, but it fought hard and slipped away from her and sprinted into the paddock and was on the far side of the field in less than a minute - there's no way we could have caught it once it went. It was reassuring to see that it didn't seem injured, and it was probably big enough to survive by itself.

While we were waiting for dinner we went outside to see the International Space Station pass over, unfortunately it was too cloudy to see anything. It was cool being out the front in the dark though, all 5 of us, so it didn't really feel like we missed out. We mucked around with torchlight and hiding in the dark, then came in for meatloaf and mashed potatoes. The girls watched YouTube, Liam did some maintenance on his computer, Tony and I watched Umbrella Academy. I didn't end up getting much done around the house at all but I did have a fun day and am feeling good.

The new case numbers are bobbing up and down either side of 100. Numbers of deaths are high - some of them are not recent, they are deaths that were reported to the Federal Govt and those numbers are just coming through. People are still dying though and it's so horrible to hear that each day. Looking forward (I think) to finding out tomorrow what the plan is from here - I don't think anything much will change for a while yet, but I guess it's good that we're at least at a point where we're starting to talk about it.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 54

 A good day today. New cases in the 70s (I remember how horrible it felt the first time we had over 70 new cases in a day - now that number feels like good news). A lot of deaths reported today, but apparently most of them occurred in recent weeks and have taken time to go through the reporting process. I am feeling incredibly sad each day though when I think of the families of those who have died.

I started my day watching the Tour de France highlights with Tony, then had a shower to rinse the dye out of my hair, and I'm very happy with my new purple look. Amelie and Caitlin both spent time brushing and styling my hair today, it was very luxuriant for me. I got bits and pieces of tidying down, talked to Mum and Dad on the phone (so glad I saw them last week), went for a long walk by myself (with Luna), cooked an apple and jam cake. The girls watched more Saddle Club, and some Dan and Phil. We played a bit of Among Us, although I was a bit vague today and didn't do very well. I had sore forearms and couldn't figure out why, then remembered I started trying pull-ups again over the past few days. I'm still a long way off but haven't completely lost my progress, I can pull myself up a tiny bit so hoping to keep working on that every day. I had my new backup drive delivered today so I can finally back up my MacBook and then start using my external drive for my photos. The girls went for a walk in the late afternoon while Tony split some wood. Amelie spent time on the trampoline, Liam played games with friends online. Caitlin cooked dinner and watched The Block, Tony and I watched some game shows on SBS. I'm ending the day watching the Tour de France.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 5

Feeling really happy this afternoon. I had one of my favourite kind of days (apart from days spent with friends). I pottered around the house, sorting and tidying, a bit of cleaning, in between writing, reading, playing games on my phone, watching TV (Brooklyn 9-9) and movies (the 1st 3 Twilight movies) on and off, chatting to the kids and on the phone with friends. I took my time over things, didn't worry about finishing tasks, just did what naturally felt right to do next. A walk in the late afternoon with beautiful sunlight over the vines, chatting to a friend then listening to my audio book, and then playing Get Over It on Liam's computer - a repetitive game that I'm very slowly getting better at and that I found soothing rather than frustrating.  Tony has cooked dinner so I'm about to curl up and eat and then watch the rest of Eclipse with the girls. I haven't looked at the news and spent little time on Facebook and on the whole I'm feeling more positive about everything.

Detectives and vets

Yesterday Tony played golf in the afternoon and the kids and I stayed home for the day. We did more quizzes - geography, music, movies, word plays and definitions, and Caitlin wrote and submitted 2 quizzes herself - one on horses and one a speed test of typing the alphabet. She then found some onlinechoose-your-own-adventure stories and we spent a while taking it in turns to read and choose our way through the stories. LiAM and Millie played for ages with a magnetic story kit - a background of a vet's surgery and a barn, and lots of magnetic animals and veterinarian equipment which stick on to the background. We also played lots of 80s arcade games (online) through the day - packman, frogger, space invaders, tetris (yay!), snake, and hexagon, which I'd never played before but reminded me of Lord of the Shades. We tried to find somewhere we could download Lord of the Shades or play it online, but could only find PC versions, nothing for Mac. We tried to get our old Toshiba up and running again but didn't have any luck there either. So it was back to packman which is always fun...

Tony had made pancakes for breakfast which the kids snacked on through the day - they discovered their new favourite way of eating them is with butter, cinnamon and brown sugar. (LiAM has been eating waffles at a friend's house, with that topping, and given that we don't have a waffle maker he was happy to try it out on the pancakes and was pleased it worked).

Caitlin played with her detective kit, taking everyone's finger prints, then setting up a mystery to solve and collecting evidence - which ended up with me handcuffed as apparently I stole the precious jewels. Millie played on the trampoline and pretended to be a seal - Caitlin the detective did some DNA testing on her to see if she was related to any famous seals.

The kids sorted some of their old animal cards which they collected from Woolworths last year. I started sorting through the pantry in an effort to get rid of the pantry moths that are living there. I was going to pull absolutely everything out and not put it back til everything was clean, but that seemed too big a job so I'm working on one shelf at a time, much more manageable.

In the evening we watched Dolphin Tale - I love it because it really shows how easy it is to learn when you are inspired about something. Afterwards we watched an old episode of Heartland, and the kids played some more computer games before everyone went to bed.

It's OK not to finish

Yesterday morning I was at the computer and Millie came out into the lounge room and started playing, and I heard her say 'Good, finally it's just me and Mummy again!' - a great reminder of how much she treasures that time when she and I play together. So when she came in to sit on my lap and use the computer, I was quite happy to hand it over to her and chat to her while she played Minecraft, and help her spell things she wanted to type. I really enjoy my time alone in the mornings when it happens, checking my email and Facebook and browsing the internet. It has sometimes bothered me then when one of the kids gets up early and I don't have as much time by myself - but lately I've been enjoying it, however it works out. It is lovely having that quiet one-on-one time with whoever comes out first (usually Millie, sometimes LiAM, very occasionally Caitlin). Sometimes we play together, other times they play on the computer or iPad or put a movie on and I do my own thing next to them, while we share the experience. And it doesn't bother me like it used to if I don't end up finishing reading all my emails, or doing all the things I was planning to do - I can come back to it later, or the next day, or whenever - it's usually more fun to change direction and do what the kids want to do. (Occasionally I'll be working on something that someone else is waiting for, so I don't want to stop, and in those cases the kids are usually happy if I put a movie on until I'm finished and then they can have their turn on the computer).

It's the same during the day when I'm doing housework or sorting things out or reading or whatever I'm doing - if someone asks me to come and watch or come and play, I really try to say yes as much os the time as I can. What I'm doing can usually wait - spending time learning and exploring and playing with the kids is way more important than just about anything else, and I can always come back to the other activities. When I stop and play with the kids I've found it works best if I really do commit to playing, and be in the moment with them - if I'm still thinking about what I was doing and wondering when I can get back to it, then I'm distracted and not as fun a playmate, and I don't enjoying the playing or watching as much either.

I'm getting much more comfortable with the idea of not finishing tasks too - I can start something and get as much done as I manage, and if I'm interrupted for whatever reason that's fine. If I get back to it, great, if not, I can move it aside and finish it later, or let it go completely. I watch the kids do it all the time - work on something until they have had enough, then move on to another activity, without that stressful 'I Should finish this' feeling hanging over their heads. They are comfortable in doing what is important at the time, and not hanging on to activities because they were once important, but letting things go as priorities change. I like this, and as I practice it more myself I'm finding it quite liberating. Insisting on finishing something because we started it can stifle learning and interest and joy, and I'm not interested in doing that. The important things do get finished because there is motivation to come back to them, and those where interest has waned can be left and it doesn't matter. The learning happens in the doing of tasks, not the completion of them, and I love that I'm really learning how to enjoy and prioritise the process, not the end product.

Settling back in to home

We've had a couple of quiet days, mainly at home, which was exactly what we needed after our trip away and then birthday preparations and celebrations.

We made up some of the craft kits that the kids got for their birthdays - plaster of paris fairies for Millie and a glow in the dark T-Rex skeleton for LiAM. Caitlin and Millie also started on a make-your-own Angel doll - there was sewing involved so Caitlin is enjoying it more than I would. We've talked about making cake pops in Millie's new cake pop maker but as yet haven't gotten any further than wiping the surface down with a clean cloth before use. Maybe today...

The kids have been playing Minecraft again - I heard of a server run by an unschooled Australian teenager, so we have logged into that for the first time and they are enjoying playing with other kids and learning how to negotiate someone else's server. I've been impressed with the ease with which they ask questions when they aren't sure about something, and also with the speed that they are answered by more experienced players.

They also played Skylanders, and some new games on the MacBook, and games on the ABC2 and ABC3 websites. LiAM was thrilled to find a new SlugTerra game, which is based on his current favourite TV Show.

We've watched a bit of TV and talked about the shows, played with animal toys, played the piano and the ukelele, read books, looked after all our animals - our little chicks are now not so little - the roosters are now bigger than their dad and soon I'll be looking for options to move them on - I don't think we can easily keep 4 roosters with our flock!

We went to the library yesterday afternoon, nice to be back after a 4 week break. LiAM watched YouTube videos, the girls used the hall to dance, we read some books and borrowed some more, then the girls went to Girl Guides. Millie is 5 now so old enough to begin - I stayed as well in case she found it too much. She loved it and joined in all the activities - and looked so tiny compared to everyone else.

Millie has been practicing her addition facts, asking every day 'what's plus 1 plus 1' and 'what's plus 4 plus 3 plus 2 plus 1' or 'what's plus 68 plus 2'... and she's starting to notice patterns, like that if you add 1 to a number you get the next number! It's quite exciting to explore it with her and be reminded of the patterns ourselves!

I've had a couple of moments when I've been really pleased to back, too. I wasn't quite ready to come home from our holiday - I rarely am (actually the only time I've ever been pleased to finish a holiday was at the end of our 5 week trip to Europe with a 1yo and a 2yo...). And this time I didn't really miss anything while I was gone. But there's been a couple of little moments - like opening our cutlery drawer and seeing all of OUR spoons - where I've felt very content and happy to be back in our space, and grateful that we have such a wonderful space to come back to.