Still tired

 It's 2 1/2 weeks since I tested positive for COVID, and while I feel a lot better - not feeling sick anymore - I am still tired and get breathless pretty easily.

I continued to rest through the full week of my isolation, and on Day 7 I still tested positive so stayed in iso while the kids went back out and about. I was so blessed to have friends and family drop off supplies and check in on me regularly, and the kids took care of the animals and getting food organised. Tony brought over takeaway several times so food was pretty easy. I was positive again on Day 11 and finally tested negative on Day 15. 

I haven't been doing much - a little bit of tidying up or packing the dishwasher or washing some clothes, and a few trips to drop the kids to work or at friend's houses. I've been doing a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, but even sitting up to do that gets tiring after about an hour. Anything more strenuous and it's more like 10 or 15 minutes. So I've been spending lots of time reading, watching Netflix and Disney+, playing games on the computer, chatting on the phone - I can talk for a bit longer now before I get puffed out and it's usually not as bad as in that first week. Today though I was up for a while and played a board game with Tony - by the end of that I was finding breathing quite hard, it was breathlessness like I'd had early on. Lying down relieves it fairly quickly which is a good thing. There's a lot of smoke in the air today from burning off and a couple of nearby bushfires, so that's probably making the breathing a bit trickier.

It's a concern that there are so many people right now experiencing this. It's a disease that has quite an impact on so many people and I guess it's causing us all to slow down. I hope that people take the rest that they need and that case numbers start to fall, that people remain careful and - I don't know what else. I'd like it to start to have less of an impact on our world, but I do feel like that is a good way off yet.

Catching COVID

 Despite being super cautious, still wearing masks in public places, not going to many events or activities, I picked up COVID last week at our first homeschool camp for the year. I had decided not to organise a camp earlier in the year because the risk felt too great, but by this stage the kids were in desperate need of a few days away with friends, and I was too. We'd decided it was worth the risk and I stand by that even though I'm disappointed to have caught it. The weird thing is that I don't know who I got it from - no one else admitted to being sick, and no one else has caught it since I did, not any of my kids or the people I was hanging out with. Which is a relief, I was worried it was going to be a super spreader event. I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time - and it shows how contagious this disease is. It's possible I didn't even talk to the person I caught it from, it could have been in the shared bathrooms at the caravan park.

I want to outline how the virus has played out for me, so that I don't forget.

Day 1

Woke up with a bit of a congested chest which worried me slightly, but then also had scratchy throat and eyes and runny nose so assumed it all part of the hayfever I'd been experiencing every morning. I was tired that day and spent hours just sitting and chatting and then curled up and reading, with no motivation even to go to the beach. I stood up after 2 hours reading and my entire body ached and I just wanted to sleep, even though I'd already had a nap before my reading stint. I decided instead to walk into town and see if the walk helped (I thought I might just be sore from an 8km walk the day before, combined with all the sitting around I'd done this day), and to pick up a RAT test while I was there. The walk was slow and I felt like I was getting a cold, feeling gradually worse and worse. When I got back to the caravan park and ducked into the bathrooms to do the test I had a really strong wave of dizziness. 

I did the RAT and glanced at it after about 5 minutes - a very strong second line was already showing. It was a horrible feeling, like a very bad dream, and I sat there for the rest of the 15 minutes trying to figure out what to do next. I ran into Caitlin as I left the bathrooms and we sat out the back working out the logistics - it was too late for me to pack up and go home that night, especially considering how unwell I was feeling, so Caitlin let the others know what had happened and I basically isolated (masked) at my tent for the rest of the evening. I did some tidying up so that pack up would be easier the next morning. My kids and the people we'd spent lots of time with did RATs and everyone else was negative.

Day 2

Felt like I had a nasty cold, and tired really easily. Felt like I had a fever. I was able to pack up with the help of the kids but had to stop and rest quite frequently. Talking and walking at the same time was tiring, as was standing up for too long at once. I had lots of offers of help and felt very supported and blessed to be surrounded by friends. We packed up and I drove home with one friend driving behind me in case things got too hard. It was a long drive, and I was masked so couldn't eat and drink like I normally do when I'm driving, and I didn't stop for a toilet stop so it was a huge relief to make it home! We put the tent up (cos it was wet) and the kids got the essential stuff out of the car and I went to bed. I was very very tired and had started to cough a lot as well - I felt like I had a bad head cold, with a dry cough. Sore sinuses and a runny nose, just very congested.

Day 3

The cough became more phlegmy and more frequent. My head felt a lot clearer, much less stuffy. I had no energy to do anything. Took the kids to get PCRs (Caitlin drove and I just curled up in the front seat and didn't want to move) - all negative. I walked out to the car to get something at one stage and walked too fast, was very puffed out for a while afterwards. Rested all day.

Day 4 

A bit more congested again and cough still happening. No loss of taste though. The breathlessness was worse- a 15 minute phone call had me puffing like I'd just run up a hill. In the night time I had night sweats which were horrible, especially when I got up to try and get some relief and then had breathlessness as well. Rested all day.

Day 5

Cough and congestion a little better, breathlessness much worse. Walking to the kitchen puffed me out. I really only have about 10 minutes of conversation in me and then it gets too tiring. Long sentences were hard work. Conscious of my breathing even if I wasn't doing much. Really smoky outside due to burning off so that didn't help with the breathing and meant I couldn't have the window open. Rested all day.

This is scary

I'm feeling scared today.

I'm worried that even after all the work we've done, everything we've been through, the virus will become out of control and our infection rates, and death rates, will climb and we'll all be personally impacted. I know people find lockdowns hard (I do as well) but living with the virus sweeping through the community seems way harder.

I saw lots of posts today (until I hid them all) about how it's propaganda, it's a government plan to control us all, that they are just using fear to make us do what they want. 

I agree that fear can be a powerful force, if you stir up enough fear about something then people will behave in ways they might not normally, and will accept suggestions (or rules) that they might not have done previously.

But.

Some things are worth being scared of, and of taking precautions to avoid. Bushfires are terrifying, and we prepare our houses and our yards, use regulated materials to build our houses, follow rules as to where we can plant trees, and leave on high fire danger days. Floods, heatwaves, storms, all are scary and we take precautions to avoid them and to protect ourselves against them. We follow rules to keep ourselves safe - wear seatbelts in the car, watch the safety demonstration on aeroplanes, wear harnesses when climbing or working up high, don't swim in waters where there are crocodiles or sharks or box jellyfish. We wear safety gear when it's appropriate - hard hats on construction sites, gloves and glasses and steel capped boots. Not all of those things that we are being protected from are as scary as others - but if something went wrong and we were not protected, it could be terrifying.

So just because everyone is scared of this virus, it doesn't mean that the government (which government? Did they all get together and decide to do this? Or did one government start it and then tell all the others - or have they all been tricked as well? I can't see how this could be orchestrated on such a global scale) has created it to control us. We're scared because it is scary. Getting sick, going to hospital, dying, losing friends or family - those things are all events that I want to avoid. And I'm really worried that that's where we are heading at the moment. I know lots of people have already experienced all of that and I don't want anyone else to have to go through that grief, and I can't imagine how much worse it will be if we are all in that situation.

If things do get worse then we will all adjust to the new way of being, but I don't want to have to do that. I will definitely take lockdowns over that option, even though this lockdown (6.0) is a massive shock and feels like a kick in the guts. But if it gets the numbers back down and we can start to see our friends again someday, then it will be worth it.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 103 & 104

 The last 2 days have been very busy which I didn't really expect - I'm feeling happy and very tired.

Even though we are allowed to travel a little further now and see more people, I wasn't keen on rushing out on the first day, I figured it would be crazy out there with everyone going new places. But then I though about Mum and Dad having been alone so long, and it felt important to see them as soon as possible. I spent the morning doing housework and photo work and proofreading, and had a Telehealth gynaecology appointment as follow up to my hospital trip a few months ago. We decided the best course of action from here was to book me in for a hysteroscopy and a D&C. I rang Mum and arranged to meet at Lillydale Lake - they were very excited at the plan. I went by myself, and we sat in chairs away from everyone else (there were so many cars in the carpark, it made me feel a little anxious - most people were jogging, or walking their dogs, and the grassy areas there are so big that we were able to sit quite a way from any other people. There were no large groups there, people mainly in 2s and 3s). We had some lunch and a snack and a great chat. We were swooped by a bird a few times - we each got hit in the head at least once (Mum about 3 times) so we moved our chairs away from the tree we were near. It didn't hurt us, it was just a bit of a shock each time. It was great to see my parents and a relief to see that Dad is getting around ok, even though he's obviously a bit slower and less robust than he was previously.

I headed home via the post office, and hung out with the kids a bit when a friend rang to say his son really wanted to see Millie and could we meet them at the Yarra Glen park. Amelie was very keen, and I wanted to see his wife who is my very good friend and who also has been unwell this year. So the girls and I went to the park, it wasn't crowded at all which I was relieved about (it was after 5). Great to see my friend in person after so many months and have a chat with her. The kids had a great play, Caitlin talked to us for a while and took one of the kids up to the skate park, and went and got our fish and chips for dinner. It was sunny by this stage (had been grey when I was with Mum and Dad) and not too cold, until the sun went behind the mountain then we headed home.

Back home we ate then went for a quick walk around the dam, I had a bath because I was pretty tired (and cold, there was a pretty icy wind when we were walking)

Today I didn't feel motivated to be very active so spent several hours working on photo stuff, which was quite productive. I had a Zoom meeting with my homeschool group in the afternoon, great as always to talk to my friends, the girls popped in and out to say hello as well. I had a call from Eastern Health - Healesville Hospital is opening it's lists next week for the first time since mid-March, so I was able to be booked in for my procedure next Tuesday morning - really soon and unexpected, but I am happy that it will be done quickly, and I'm very pleased that I don't have to go to Box Hill hospital.

I went to Healesville to do the shopping - the bulk food shop, the greengrocers, Coles, the library, and Aldi, then drove over to Yarra Junction to pick up my milk - now that we can travel 25km I can go and get it myself rather than the farmer bringing it over to Healesville. I enjoyed the drive and it was great to listen to my audio book. I got home and was exhausted - ate the soup I'd put on to cook this morning then had a quiet evening in bed reading and playing games. The girls came in to chat and look at the Peregrine Falcon for a while.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 102

 A big day today.

I slept in until after 8 - very unusual and a good way to pass a couple of hours before waiting for the press conference. Around 10 it was announced that the presser would be at 11, so we had breakfast (Tony cooked pancakes), Caitlin went for a run, and we were ready to watch at 11. I'm quite happy with the changes to restrictions, they are going to make life a bit easier and a bit more varied for us, and there's more changes coming in a week or two. From tomorrow we can travel up to 25km from home, and meet in groups of up to 10 people from 2 households. There's no time limit on how long we can exercise or socialise for. In a week or 2 we'll be able to see 10 people from any number of households, and have 1 family per day in our house. Retail and restaurants will open then too. It feels great to know that we are possibly on our way out of this - as long as numbers stay low (only 2 today). The press conference was stressful at times but I'm always impressed with the Premier and CHO and how well they handle the questions. I was also pleased to hear that Jacinda Adern has won the NZ election in a landslide - she's doing such a good job.

After the press conference I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. I'd been waiting for today for weeks and then felt a big anti-climax - none of the restrictions change today and I had no other real plans for today and not much motivation to do anything. We watched the falcons for a while and chatted. Caitlin and I did some yoga then jumped on the trampoline with Amelie and did some cartwheels. Tony fixed the fan belt in his car then went for a drive to make sure it was ok, the girls went with him and they went to the IGA and to Tony's work. I did the dishes and some work outside, then went for a walk with Luna. She had the lead on but I wasn't holding it, and she took off after some kangaroos - normally with the lead attached she doesn't run off. I finished my walk and didn't see her anywhere, and she wasn't home when I got back.

I suggested Caitlin have a driving lesson and we go and look for her - she normally comes running when she hears the car. WE drove around the property and still didn't see her, and up and down Houghton's Lane. I was really worried that she'd tried to cross the creek or gone into some blackberry bushes and got the lead caught on something (or, like she did last week, tried to go under a fence and got the clip of the lead attached to the wire). Tony was looking by this stage as well, and I suggested he get the Kabota so we could reach some of the off path areas - it was too wet for the car to go near the creek. Liam and Tony came down to look and went over the creek, Caitlin and I thought we heard her barking near the creek crossing, and she rang our neighbours and they went out to have a look as well - still no sign of her. I crossed the creek on foot and Caitlin and I hugged the banks on either side, Tony and Liam went up along the back of the property. I was getting really frantic, thinking she was stuck somewhere and it was getting dark, and I didn't know if we'd find her or if she'd be ok if we did - she's never been away from home that long any other time she's run after kangaroos, so I thought she had to be hurt or stuck. Just as I was getting really worked up, Amelie rang Caitlin to say that Luna had just appeared back at the house. Such a relief.

Back at home we call kind of collapsed into doing comfortable things - the girls watched Brooklyn 9-9, Liam played on the computer, Tony watched the Brownlow Medal and I listened to my audio book. The adrenalin in all of us is fading slowly and I think we'll all sleep well tonight.

Looking forward to seeing my parents this week, and some friends who I haven't been able to see in months - there's a few in my 25km radius, and others who's radius overlaps ours. The kids are figuring out who they can see and when - I think we'll take it pretty slowly, but we're definitely going to start to socialise a bit more over the course of the week.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 100 & 101

 Day 100 of lockdown!!! That feels pretty momentous. We talked about having a day 100 party but no one had any motivation to do anything about it. I celebrated by listening to a gorgeous song written about lockdown and shared on a friend's Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/thebengsons/videos/724609064791616.

I spent a good chunk of the day proofreading. I was thinking I should get the dishes done before I got started on the proofing, then realised I often put off the things I really want to do by saying 'I'll just do this first' and then run out of energy or get called to something else and miss out on what was important to me. So I proofed first and had a very enjoyable morning in my room reading. I had some lunch and did yoga outside with Caitlin and Amelie. We turned on our mats at one point and one of the chickens had nestled into the ground just behind us - cool to have a chicken join us for yoga. I did some more proofing in the afternoon but was a bit distracted and didn't enjoy it so much. I decided to go in to Healesville to get some more bread from the bakery (my favourite place to get bread) and maybe buy myself a hot drink and go on my Artist's Date for the week. I was delayed a bit by a few things and left much later than I'd planned. One of my delays was my phone slipping out of my hand as I tried to put it in my bag - it fell face down on our cork floor and the glass smashed - not the tempered glass screen protector, it's still fine, but the glass of the phone itself is cracked all over. I was pretty sad and just couldn't seem to pick up from there. The bakery was closed when I got there, so I went to Aldi, bought some cool things from the middle aisles and got some Aldi bread, and a peppermint chocolate milk drink and some chocolate croissants for myself. I drove to one of my walking spots within our 5km and took my food and drink and book and sat for a while. I got distracted easily (and there were lots of mozzies) and the croissants weren't really what I wanted... It was nice to be out by myself though and I stayed for about an hour, listening to my audio book and playing games on my phone for some of the time.

Back home I did the dishes and took Luna for a late walk around the dam. Liam cooked banana bread. Tony had had a huge day at work and had a long evening nap. It became an every man for himself dinner because I was exhausted - I had slept badly again. I watched some Umbrella Academy (I'm loving it more and more with every episode and love the quality of my computer screen) and chatted to the girls for a while before eventually going to sleep.

This morning I woke at 5am so had several hours to myself in the morning. When Amelie woke up she brushed and braided my hair (the first time she's braided). I chatted to the kids and Tony as they emerged, tidied up inside and outside. We spent a lot of time looking at a list of the 10 largest birds of prey, and researching the range of animals that they eat. Our favourite is the Eurasian Eagle Owl. We interspersed that with watching the Peregrine Falcon livestream. In the early afternoon we all played Cards Against Humanity (Family Edition). It was hilarious and very relaxing, and fun to have all 5 of us playing. Tony, Caitlin and Liam went for a run. I did some more tidying then sat and chatted with Caitlin while she crocheted, and we played Kiss, Marry, Kill. The others joined in for a while with that as well. I went for a long, slow walk and listened to my audio book, then did some work on the computer, and played the piano for the first time in ages.

I'm getting ready to head to bed for an early night, and eagerly looking forward to tomorrow - there will be announcements about what is happening with the restrictions. I'm swinging between thinking nothing much will change, and that heaps will be allowed. We had 2 cases yesterday and only 1 today - so things are certainly looking positive for some kind of easing. I'm less antsy about it than I though I would be, but I am very keen to hear what the plan will be going forward from tomorrow.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 99

  I was awake for about 3 hours in the middle of the night last night - not sure why, just awake and tired but not able to get to sleep. So most of today was a bit foggy... I had a good morning, all the kids were up reasonably early and we talked and did things in the garden and around the house, Caitlin did some crochet, Amelie played Among Us and SIMS. I had a phone call from a friend, then a Zoom counselling appointment which was extremely helpful. It was great using my new computer too, the camera is better, and the sound, and the internet connection... Afterwards I did some work on my course and tried to do some proofreading for the 2 magazines I volunteer for - had technical difficulties with both so will try again tomorrow. I played a game on my phone for a while and had a nap.

I went for a walk once I was up, I could see dark clouds coming (it was warm today but cloudy) and wanted to walk before the storm if it came. Half way around the property the rain started - I had worn a rain jacket so only my legs got wet and I don't mind walking in the rain. It was pretty heavy, though there was no storm. I was exhausted when I got home, played on my phone again for a while and then had a bath. Tony played chess with Liam and Amelie, then went to get takeaway pizza and pasta for dinner. I ate my pasta in the bath, it was very cool.

I did a brief amount of tidying up then headed to bed where I'll do a bit of work then probably watch Netflix for a little while before hopefully falling asleep early.

Numbers were in single figures today, things feel a little more hopeful.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 98

 Another good day today. I got a heap of tidying and sorting done, spent lots of time with the kids and Tony and some on my own, and a friend called in to pick up his fruit and veg and we had a great chat. His son also came and he and Liam went for a walk to explore the island. I spoke to Mum (Dad wasn't having a good day, so it was good to spend some time letting her debrief) and another friend. The Tupperware I ordered a few weeks ago arrived, so I'm getting ready to resort my vegetables into my new veggie storers. Caitlin and I popped in to Yarra Glen to get the mail and send some more parcels (Caitlin received 3 things today, a birthday present and some stuff she'd ordered) and got a few things at the IGA.

It was warm today, the warmest day for a while, and very sunny. Sitting outside to chat was really pleasant, although the boys got a bit hot on their walk. Caitlin and I walked late in the day, around 7pm, and it was really lovely - easy to walk in a t-shirt and shorts. Caitlin cooked a vegetarian butter chicken for dinner - it was delicious!!! 

I'm feeling really good although starting to get a bit nervous about what changes might be announced on Sunday and what the consequences of those changes might be. I imagine I'll get more and more antsy as the week draws on - although I'll try to stay positive and not let it impact me too much.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 96 and 97

 I feel the last couple of days have been quite productive, which is not really that usual at the moment. I am exhausted though, I think tomorrow will be a rest day. 

Getting some work done in my room on Sunday seems to have freed me up to do other things around the house, it had really been hanging over me. I did bits and pieces of tidying and cleaning and helping the kids with things in the morning, and knocked over a few more jobs that I'd been wanting to get done. Caitlin and I did yoga and I talked to a couple of friends on the phone (separately). Caitlin baked some banana bread - 1 loaf for us (which didn't last long, it was delicious!) and 1 loaf for our neighbour across the road (we met him a few weeks ago when he came to see if we had any idea where the dogs who were killing his sheep were coming from). I took Luna for a long walk so that she didn't want to go with the girls, who walked over to deliver the banana bread. He was thrilled with the gift and the thought, and the girls were thrilled when he let them go in to the a pen and help feed a week old lamb! He's promised Caitlin some wool when he shears in the summer, and said that we are welcome to walk on his land which backs on to our place - running along the creek. I'm pretty excited about that as it's always looked so enticing! I took the car to meet the girls on their way back and Caitlin had another driving lesson.

We spent a lot of time watching the Peregrine Falcon webcam, the kids played lots of video games and talked to some friends. I had a great phone call with one of my oldest friends (in NSW, whose birthday was last week - always so good to catch up). I went to bed early to do some work and the girls came in to chat after a while, a nice debrief for the end of the day.

Today involved more Falcon watching, some online shopping (new chargers and adapters for my new laptop), and a bit of tidying up and outdoor work. We all headed to Healesville in the afternoon, the kids met with their friend and went for a walk, bought some chais, did a bit of shopping. I had an enjoyable afternoon of shopping, I went to the bakery, the bulk food shop (so happy that we have that in Healesville now!), the greengrocer, Aldi, the library (just to pick up my books from the click and collect table), Coles and the chemist, then picked up my milk. I ran into the kids a few times as we were wandering around which was pretty cool. I also ran into one of the other mums from Guides and we had a quick catch up - very exciting to see anyone I know!

Back home Liam went back online to play games and chat to his friends, Amelie played some SIMS, and Caitlin and I went for our walk. We went down the back and crossed the fence to explore along the creek of our neighbour's land. It was so beautiful, lots of access to the creek, a range of foliage, lots of cool trees to look at (also lots of blackberry bushes to navigate around, Caitlin got scratched a few times). I'm looking forward to exploring there a lot more. I was so exhausted by the time we got home though. I cooked some soup (nice and easy) and watched The Block with Tony, and I'm heading to bed as soon as I can.

It's now mathematically impossible for us to hit our targets for Step 3 before Sunday. It's likely however that some restrictions will be eased - I think this week is going to feel more and more stressful as we wait to find out what will change next week. I just want to be able to see people more easily, and I think that's the direction the changes will take. I hope.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 95

 A quiet day at home for me today - although most days are exactly that, so it's no surprise. Tony and the kids went to work to chop wood, the girls and Luna went for a walk and Liam helped with with wood (and Caitlin was stung by a bee). I spent the time trying to reorganise things in my bedroom - I wanted to clear the built in bedhead behind our bed so I could get into the storage inside it, move the stuff that was in there and fill it with paperwork and memorabilia - stuff that I want to keep but don't need to have regular access to. I made myself a cup of tea, moved the boxes that were on top of the storage area onto my bed, attempted to move some more things so that I had access to behind the bed, and knocked the cup of tea over - it seemed to fall in slow motion, and poured itself over all my library books, into drawers, onto some of my photos - I just wanted to cry and/or give up - but I needed to mop up all the dampness (there was so much of it, it took ages) and once that was done I didn't want to leave all the things all over my bed, so I kept going and managed to get things put away or at least put out of the way, and was pretty happy with what I got done. In the process I also stepped on some glass so it was a less relaxing afternoon than I'd hoped for, but it turned out ok. When the others came home Caitlin and I went through all of my tops, she took some for herself, I moved some on to the giveaway pile, and I reorganised the rest of them into boxes that will act like drawers in my cupboard - it was a very satisfying result.

I went for a walk by myself, down around the back of the property near the island we explored yesterday - I even crossed the little creek just beyond the dam, I felt much more confident today than I did yesterday. I found a balloon on a string caught up in a tree - I really wonder how it got there. I brought it home and put it in the bin, along with some burst balloons that I found on the ground - I don't want them out there for birds to try to eat.

Tony cooked mashed potato and rissoles for tea, very tasty, we ate while watching The Block then I went to my room to do a bit more work on my course. I also spent a fair bit of time playing with my photos throughout the day.

 I've skipped doing yoga the past 2 days, I feel like I'm stiffening up a bit already, I will make it a priority to do some tomorrow.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 87 - 94

 I missed a couple of days writing the blog due to busy evenings, and the longer it went on the harder it was to come back and catch up. I'll give it a go now. I've been feeling good this week, so perhaps feeling positive has meant that I don't feel the need to document quite so much - although the good days are much more interesting to write about than the low days.

Saturday last week was a very relaxing day. Earlier in the week I'd let everyone know I wanted most of the day to myself, I had a book that I wanted to read in one day, because I knew I'd get so involved in it and not want to put it down. I spent most of the day on the couch in the carport, reading my book and it was fabulous (the book was Ironheart, the 2nd book in the Valentine series, a teen paranormal mystery/romance). Our Narbethong friends called in in the afternoon to pick up some food that had been delivered to our place (because they don't deliver over the Spur) - it was so wonderful to see them and have a chat for a while. After they left I went back to my book and finished mid-afternoon, I felt relaxed and happy and grateful that I'd had the opportunity to nurture myself like that.

Sunday I pottered around the house and did some serious research on MacBooks. I talked to a friend and he helped me sort out exactly what I wanted, and on Sunday night I ordered one, finally, after months of research and thinking.

Monday we went to Healesville to do the shopping, Caitlin and Liam met up with their friend and went for a walk, Amelie and I went to Coles, the bulk food shop and Aldi. It was pretty cold and wet but the kids still found interesting places to walk. In the afternoon my friend picked up my new MacBook from JB Hifi and delivered it to my place - SO exciting!!!!! I spent the rest of the day setting it up and playing with it, it's so great and I am so so so happy with it. And so happy that I finally made the decision just to buy it. Having a working keyboard and a laptop that doesn't freeze up every 10 minutes has made everything I've done on it this week so much more efficient and enjoyable.

Tuesday I played on my computer a bunch more, had my Yarra Glen Zoom meeting in the afternoon, popped down to Healesville to get my milk and chatted to my friend when he came to pick up some more food that had been delivered here.In the evening I watched Shaun of the Dead on my new computer - a great screen for watching TV on. And I loved the movie too.

Wednesday I woke up in the best mood I've been in for a good while. I felt excited about the possibilities that the day could bring - vastly different from feeling like the day was just one more day to get through. Caitlin and I went to Yarra Glen to the Post Office and picked up 7 packages! We called in to the Chocolate Factory on the way home to get some beetroot relish (she had it on her Smashed Avo on her birthday and loved it) and drove home the long way. I had a couple of beers and a FaceTime call with a friend in the evening. 

I'd had an iced coffee from the IGA on Wednesday, and I could not get to sleep on Wednesday night. I eventually slept for 2 hours, woke up for a while, slept for another 2 hours then was awake for the day before 6am. I'd wanted to spend a whole day this week working on my photos, so I figured Thursday was a good time to do that seeing as I felt exhausted and lethargic. It was a lot of fun, sitting on the couch and doing a heap of photo organising and posting. 

Friday I planned to do a heap of tidying but it didn't really happen. I'd had another terrible night's sleep - late to fall asleep and awake before 5 this time! I spent a lot of time talking to Caitlin while she crocheted, and doing bits and pieces around the house in between more work on the computer. We went for a walk in the afternoon and I was feeling a bit flat but then we played fun music on my phone, using the lyrics of each song to inspire our choice of the next song, and that really picked me up. Our yoga practice was the last day in a 30 day session, and it was kind of a freestyle session - there was no verbal direction, we could copy what she was doing or do what poses felt right for us. It was a little challenging mentally but a lot of fun and it was cool to see how much we'd learnt in the 30 days. In the evening I watched a couple of episodes of The Long Way Round - Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman's motorcycle trip around the world. 

Today I did get a lot more tidying done, as well as more photo work. I did half of the mending - a whole tub's worth of clothes either mended or put in the rag pile (some were just not worth mending). Some of that has been sitting there for many many years, it was so exciting to get it done! Caitlin and I walked to the back of the property and over a creek to a little peninsula of land bordered by Paul's Creek, the tributary that runs across the back fence of our place, and the fence which borders the farm behind us. It is so beautiful over there, and it feels so deserted and far from civilisation. We had to jump across the creek to get there - I thought I'd end up in the water but I made it (with a bit of help from Caitlin). On the way back we crossed another creek, and then went for a swim in the dam - it was cold, but so beautiful to be in the water looking at the clouds and the mountains. This evening Tony is watching the Collingwood v Geelong semi-final and it's not going well for Collingwood.

All week we've been watching the swallows who have a nest above our back door. They have 3 chicks in there and it's been fascinating to watch the parents come and go feeding the chicks - 3 huge beaks appear from the nest and gobble down the food. Yesterday they emerged from the nest and learned to fly - that was even more amazing to watch. They are tiny, and still fluffy underneath, and still have massive yellow, wide beaks. Otherwise they look like their parents. They sit on the ledge above the window and flatten themselves down so they just look like a couple of feathers. Then they jump off and fly away. They aren't great at landing but they got better at it as the day went on.

We've also been watching a live webcam of the peregrine falcons on top of a building in Melbourne https://www.367collinsfalcons.com.au. That has provided hours of entertainment for us this week.

We've gone for walks every day and Caitlin and I have done yoga every day. Amelie jumps on the trampoline and talks to her friends on the phone or Skype, plays the SIMS and Among Us and makes YouTube videos. Liam has been playing a lot of Terraria and talking to his friends on Discord. 

The numbers are low but maybe not low enough. Sitting around the 10 mark and we need them to be below 5. Another week until the next restriction announcement but it's unlikely we'll be fully able to go to Step 3. Maybe some new things will be allowed though.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 86, aka Caitlin's 16th birthday

 Although her 16th birthday wasn't what any of us had imagined when we thought of how she would celebrate turning 16, it was a really lovely day and she enjoyed it.

She woke up around 9 and we hung out with Amelie in the lounge room (Tony was at work) and Liam joined us not long afterwards. I rang the Chocolate Factory and ordered our brunch - there was a tense moment when the lady on the phone said she didn't know if there was a chef there today so they might not be able to do the smashed avo - that was the main thing Caitlin wanted to eat on her birthday so it was a big relief when they said it was all good and they could make it. Liam and I went to Yarra Glen to see if any more parcels had arrived at the post office (they hadn't), then went and picked up the brunch. Caitlin had smashed avocado and poached eggs, I had a ham and cheese croissant, Liam some carrot cake, and Amelie a strawberry tart (with fresh strawberries that we saw them put on just before they gave it to us). The food was all delicious and it was fun hanging out together in the kitchen and eating it.

Caitlin and I played Monopoly Deal for a while, then the others joined us for a round. We checked out the garden and enjoyed the sunshine, Caitlin had several phone calls from friends and family. Tony came home around 2 so we did presents - she got money from Liam to buy earrings with, face masks (the type you put on your skin and peel off) from Amelie, Checkerboard Vans from my sister and mum, and a big stash of yarn from Tony and I. She also received money from some family friends. After presents we had cake - the raspberry chocolate fudge cake she'd made - it was delicious! It was a bit soft and crumbly so rather than cutting slices of it we all got a spoon and ate it from the tin it was in.

Afterwards, Caitlin started to feel restless and wished there was somewhere she could go on her birthday. We had a look at our 5km radius and realised that the Yarra Glen Showground was within our radius, so Liam and Caitlin and I went in there and walked Luna along the river and around the Showground. It was exciting to find a new walking place within our range and to explore somewhere we hadn't been before - I'd walked bits of that path but not all of it and it was quite beautiful (although lots of mozzies. And a big black dog ran straight at me, barking, and scared the crap out of me - he was wanting to play with Luna but I had a moment of real fright). On the way home we drove around the long way and up Long Gully Rd for a bit - it was a gorgeous afternoon, sunny and clear and still, and the views were amazing. It was cool to look at Pauls Range from a few different angles and remember our walk to Toolangi.

Back home and we'd had a deliver of Daniels Donuts which I'd organised the day before. We got 2 packs of 6 and it was a surprise to everyone else, they were all very happy. Caitlin got first pick and we all found something we enjoyed. Tony took the older 2 kids for a ride around the property in the Kabota. I ordered Indian for dinner from Healesville (a family pack plus a paneer masala for Caitlin (and a garlic naan). Tony and Caitlin went and picked it up and it was good food as always. 

After dinner Caitlin had a Zoom call with her friends booked in for 8pm. They had organised to play a drawing game, I sat with her and watched for a while, it looked like a lot of fun. The rest of us went to bed and she stayed up most of the night talking to her friends, she said it felt like a real party, she was very happy with how her day panned out.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 83, 84 and 85

 It's funny how quickly the days pass when I'm feeling content and happy. Last week seems like a distant memory, but this week has flown by and we're almost at the end of it. Caitlin's birthday tomorrow - I'm quite excited. Some of her presents have arrived and we've got lots of yummy food organised so it's going to be a fun day even though she's not able to see any of her friends.

I've kept fairly busy over the past few days (and been too tired to blog in the evenings). Tuesday was my usual shopping day, and this week the kids came with me. Caitlin and Liam went for a walk with Luna and met up with a friend, Amelie shopped with me. It was fun having some company. We ran into the big kids a few times, it was weird to see them out of the context of home, I haven't randomly run into them anywhere for many months now, we're always together! Wednesday I did a fair amount of work in our bedroom, clearing out everything on Tony's side of the room so that he can use the shelves and bookcases there for his stuff, and I can use more of the walk in wardrobe for my photography supplies. It looks good all cleared out, there have been boxes there for a very long time, it was exciting to finally take some action on them. Today Caitlin and I went to Yarra Glen to the post office, picking up a couple of her birthday presents and sending off some more parcels and letters. We browsed the lolly shop and popped into the IGA. 

In between those 'big' activities we've done yoga every day, been for a long walk every day, chatted about all sorts of things, spent a lot of time watching the birds around our house - there are 3 baby Welcome Swallows in the nest above our back door, sitting and watching the parents flit back and forth feeding them is really fun. The kids have played Among Us, Liam has spent a fair amount of time playing Terraria with friends, Caitlin and I have been cooking. This afternoon we watched Enola Holmes which was really really good. 

Numbers have stayed fairly low this week, the average is going down, it's feeling encouraging that restrictions might continue to ease.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 82

We had a disrupted night as the helicopter was flying from 2.30 for an hour or so. I had forgotten how loud it is - it felt like it was coming through the bedroom window as it flew over the house block of vines, and the walls of the house were shaking. Somehow Amelie slept through it all, everyone else was awake for at least some of it.

So a cold start to the morning which turned into an absolutely gorgeous sunny day.I sat outside and did my writing in the morning, and it was beautiful.  Caitlin and I did our yoga in the yard and I felt really hot. I sweated a fair bit doing my yard work. I had several phone calls in the afternoon and sat in the yard while I chatted to a friend then to Mum, and to the car salesman and my mechanic. While I sat there I watched the Welcome Swallows feeding their babies in their nest above our back door, and the Willie Wagtails and Blue Fairy Wrens flit around in the trees, and even a couple of lorikeets made an appearance. I haven't seen a magpie in our yard for a couple of weeks - I think the wind may have destroyed their nests. There's still magpies around the property but none hanging out in our gum or oak trees like they normally do, which is a bit disappointing - for them I guess and also for us, I was looking forward to seeing the babies. I had another phone call with a friend while I had my walk in the later afternoon - it was warm enough to walk just in a t-shirt. Weird that that's going to be below zero again tonight after such a warm day - then we head into much warmer weather for the rest of the week.

Only 5 cases today - the lowest since June 12. Such a relief although numbers are usually lower early in the week because fewer tests are done on the weekend. Everyone - well, most people - seem to be feeling a bit cheered by the potential bringing forward of the next step out of restrictions, we can hang on for another 3 weeks.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 81

 An exciting day today as the next step of easing restrictions were announced. I spent the morning pottering around the house and yard, waiting for the press conference at 12.30, then watched that intently for the next hour and a half or so.

So the changes are - from tomorrow there will be no curfew. Groups of 5 people, from 2 households, can gather in public places. The restriction of only 1 person per household per day, in one outing, going shopping has been lifted. Childcare is open and schools will start to go back after the holidays. Those last 2 don't impact us so much (although the childcare changes might mean we can look after Liam's friend if necessary) and the curfew makes little difference, but the other 2 changes will give us a bit more flexibility, so that's good. We're also on track to have more restrictions lifted in 3 weeks rather than 4 - I feel like I can survive 3 more weeks.

I actually woke up looking forward to the day, it's been over a week since I felt like that. It was cold again but sunny for most of the day. After the press conference I did yoga with Caitlin - it was dry enough to do it outside again today, we had been doing it in the kitchen (the best place to fit both our mats). It's so beautiful sitting or lying and looking at the mountains and the trees and the vines, I love doing our practice in the yard. I attended an online tupperware party in the afternoon, we watched a cooking demonstration and then I had a browse of the catalogue, I'll probably buy a new things. There was still time afterwards to go for a long walk - Caitlin had already been, so I went alone and listened to my audio book. It was a gorgeous time to walk, the new vines look amazing, and I felt very peaceful and at ease. The yoga is making a difference too, my hips are much more flexible and walking feels easier. Luna walked off lead with me for most of the way, then was enticed by the rabbits and took off on her own. She didn't come back quickly so Caitlin had a driving lesson and we went to find her. While we were setting off the helicopter flew in - there's frost forecast for tomorrow morning. After a bit of searching and calling Luna came to us, wet and cold and probably terrified by the helicopter. She's currently curled up in front of the fire trying to dry off. 

I had a new beer tonight - a Bonehead Brewing Choc Vanilla Porter. It was delicious - kind of like drinking an iced chocolate, with a beery texture. Caitlin watched the Block, we ate a delicious roast beef dinner, then Caitlin and I went out to cover her tomato plants before the frost - it is SO cold out there already, a very crisp, clear night. 

Lockdown 2.0, Days 79 and 80

 I'm feeling much better tonight, the last 2 days have been a bit easier than most of the last week. I'm not even sure what's changed, just feeling less lethargic - although still happy spending lots of time taking it easy.

Yesterday I went into Yarra Glen to the post office and the IGA, got myself some fish and chips and sat in the car at the lookout and read my book for a while - it was great to have a bit of time to myself. It was cold and wet and it was really interesting to watch the clouds move in across the mountains.

Today we had a Zoom meeting with my brother, sister and parents to celebrate Dad finishing his chemo. He looked pretty well and it was a fun get together. The kids were all in and out and even though our internet was a bit dodgy it was great to see everyone. We also had a cake for Caitlin's birthday which is coming up - I bought a pavlova case and she decorated it this morning. 

Apart from that we've been for a few walks, done our yoga, tidied up the lounge room, had a few phone calls with friends and family, read books, tried to keep warm (there was snow on the mountains around us in the last day and a half), watched a bit of tv, worked on my photos a bit.

Tomorrow the government is announcing the next steps in the easing of restrictions - it's a bit exciting. I know there won't be much of a change, but even little bits will be a relief. And either way, it feels like it's just a bit closer to the end of restrictions, even if they are a fair way off.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 75. 76. 77 and 78

 I had a massive motivation slump on Monday this week and am still pretty much there - although today I feel better about it - I've been able to embrace the slump and not feel like I SHOULD be getting stuff done or feeling good or anything - I'm accepting of where I am. I have been feeling just generally bored. None of my usual interesting or relaxing activities are appealing much at all. Even going for our walk each day has become kind of dull - today Caitlin and I even ran out of things to say and the walk seemed to take forever. 

It's not all bad though. We're still laughing and chatting and having moments of fun. There's just a bit of a pall of lethargy hanging over us all. Maybe there's some light in sight though - we are supposed to move to Step 2 restrictions on Monday, (our 14 day average is in the 20s!!!) and the word is that maybe a few extra things will be eased. So who knows what next week will bring, it might be a lot brighter than we've been expected. Or even just a tiny bit brighter. Actually even the very slight changes that have been promised will be something - to be able to have 5 people from 2 families together outdoors, means Caitlin and Liam can meet with their friend in Healesville.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 72, 73 & 74

 Another few days with a mixture of busyness and social encounters, and some quiet time. I'm finding that my motivation is very up and down again, and I'm quite tired in the evenings and not feeling like writing. Tonight I feel ok though so I can do a bit of an update.

On Friday Caitlin organised to meet up with a friend who lives in Healesville - we found a road that they could walk along that is within each of our 5km circles. The kids walked ahead and I walked with the other Mum - it was a lovely morning, fairly warm and it's a beautiful place to walk (the same place I went and read my book the week before). We explored around the railway line and the old bridge and looked for wildlife and really enjoyed being with someone different. In the afternoon a friend who works at Tony's work had to drop something off to the vineyard guys, so she and I went for a walk on the property - I hadn't seen her since early in the first lockdown, it was so great to catch up.Tony and the kids went out to his work to chop wood yesterday and to have a walk in a different environment, they had a great time, and I enjoyed the quiet time at home by myself.

In between our social/out of the house excitements, we've done yoga every day, gone for a walk and/or a bike ride (well I haven't ridden anyway, but Liam has (and he saw a snake on the dam wall) and Amelie has been learning to ride her bike). I have done a heap of sorting through stuff in the house and cleared a few areas that had gotten quite congested. I've made a lot of progress on clearing out my wardrobe to make my own work space too. I've done work on my photos, work on my course, played games with the kids (lots of Among Us), had lots of cool conversations with them, spent time with Tony over the weekend, Caitlin and he and I did a heap of work in the yard - we unearthed some of the path to the shed that has been buried in dirt for years, and Tony mowed the rest of the lawn. The weather has been warm, although quite windy today. 

Still a week of this Stage 4 lockdown - sometimes it feels like the end is in sight, sometimes it feels like it's forever until anything will change. Numbers are getting lower each day - only 14 today! I guess we keep plodding along until things change and adjust to whatever happens next.

Lockdown 2.0, Days 69. 70 and 71

 The last few days have been quite busy for lockdown, and actually a little bit social! On Tuesday Liam and I went to Healesville for my to get the groceries and the milk, and met up with friends at Coles. I did my shopping with my friend, then we walked down the street to a couple of specialty stores, and the boys went for a walk down to the river. It was so great to see them and to chat while we shopped/walked. It was the first time Liam had seen his friend (or any of his friends in nearly 10 weeks, and only the 2nd time he's left the property in that time. 

Yesterday Amelie came with Caitlin and I to the post office - as usual Caitlin did the shopping, and Amelie and I went to the park. It was our first time there in over 6 months and it felt really strange. There were more people in Yarra Glen than I'd seen in a while, and there were a few people at the playground but it wasn't overly crowded and people were mainly keeping distance from each other (and all the adults were masked). Amelie's friend walked down and met us at the park - the girls were very happy to see each other again. I chatted to a friend on the phone then sat under a tree and read my book, it was a beautiful afternoon to be out. 

Today was quieter, just spent at home. I had a counselling appointment which was helpful as always. We played Among Us, I tidied quite a bit of the lounge room, Caitlin did a heap of cooking. We've done yoga every day this week, as well as our usual walks of various lengths. A few phone calls to friends, jumping on the trampoline, Caitlin and Liam practicing headstands, games on the computer. Liam and Amelie seem refreshed by their social catch ups, which hopefully will make the next few weeks easier.

Regional Victoria had many of their restrictions lifted today, so my friends outside of Melbourne are feeling pretty happy. They can eat at outdoor venues, go to people's houses, travel around a bit. The numbers in Melbourne are going down (only 28 today!) - and the 14 day average is currently under 50, which is good news.

Lockdown 2.0, Day 68

 A good day today. Numbers were low (only 35!) and I felt happy and relaxed most of the day. Beautiful weather again - and getting warmer. We had the fire on in the morning but let it die out, we did yoga outside in t-shirts and were plenty warm enough. I was a bit sore today from yesterday's yoga session, but today's theme was stretch and it was a much easier practice, I was worried about Amelie at the start of it because she was feeling anxious, by the end I was relaxed and able to be more present for her.

I mainly pottered around today, did some photo work and tidying, chatted with the kids. They watched YouTube and jumped on the trampoline and played Among Us. I had a nap when I felt sleepy - we stayed up late watching La Tour de France last night (until after midnight) because Caitlin and I wanted to watch a mountain descent - it was lovely lying in bed and chatting, looking at Instagram, watching the race - it did mean I was a bit tired today but that was fine, a nap caught me up nicely. Caitlin and I went for a late afternoon walk and explored a part of the property we haven't really been to before - there's always something new to see. Tonight the older kids are on a group call with their friends playing a new online game, Amelie is listening to her audio book, Tony is watching the Collingwood game and I'm about to head to bed to do some work on my course then read my book.

Today would have been the day we came out of Stage 4 if numbers had dropped quickly enough. There are a few concessions to our current Stage, as of today - curfew now starts at 9pm rather than 8, and we're able to have 2 hours of exercise or outdoor recreation, with 1 other person (rather than 1 hour of exercise only). So they are small changes but feel like a step towards opening up and it might make life a tiny bit easier.