Once again its been a while since I've written a post. I feel like there hasn't been much time to breathe, let alone sit down and write, over the past few months. We've had all our regular activities, time with friends, medical appointments, some extra volunteer activities on my part - there hasn't been a lot of quiet time at home, or time to go to the zoo or anywhere new. I feel like things are quietening down a little bit now - or perhaps i'm looking at things differently - I feel like I'm breathing again anyway, and I've even found time to write.
Over the weekend Caitlin went to a regional Girl Guides Camp. There were over 100 girls there from the various Guide units around the Eastern Suburbs of Melbourne. Caitlin was in a group that slept in tents, and had their meals prepared and eaten outdoors. She had a wonderful time and made several new friends.
When I went to pick her up yesterday Liam and Millie reluctantly came along too. They had wanted to stay home all day (we'd had a busy day on Saturday - Liam went to a birthday party and then the 3 of us went to Healesville Sanctuary on the way home - it was easier for them to leave the party house as they were going somewhere else fun). Tony however was still on his way back from his uncle's place in Camperdown - he'd gone over on Saturday to pick up our new (to us) dishwasher - ours had died a couple of weeks ago so it was a good opportunity for him to spend some time with his uncle and see his Nanna, and get a working dishwasher as well. So the kids came with me and picked up Caitlin from the camp, and I said we'd try to find something fun to do on the way home so it was worth their while coming for the drive. As it was so hot (around 30 degrees - crazy, since 2 days before it was cold enough in the morning for potential frost, and we had the fire going) I thought we'd see if the Seville Water Park was operational yet (I thought it might be too early in the season). Happily it was turned on, and the kids were happy to play in it in their regular clothes, so they spent a very happy hour or so running around through the water jets, clambering over the dry rocks and through the tunnels, playing water pistol fights with some other kids (Caitlin even found one of her new friends from camp to play with!) We came home tired but happier than if we'd just driven straight to camp and back.
So I'm thinking that even though we are often busy, popping in those extra little fun activities is definitely worthwhile. A play at the park on the way home or dropping in to a friend's house, an hour at the sanctuary or stopping for ice cream - these things enrich our lives and stop us from feeling like we're constantly running on a schedule. These are the things that I want to focus on, not getting to gymnastics on time or making sure we've got everything we need for Cubs... We can still do all our activities, but they don't need to be the priority. My priority is spending fun and connected time with my kids, grabbing learning and playing opportunities as they pop up (and being open to creating them).
I think the reason that our busyness has felt so overwhelming lately is because I'd stopped having the fun times as well, it felt like there wasn't enough time. My days were more about 'having' to be where we needed to be, instead of thinking 'right, these are the things we'd like to get to today, how can we work this out so that everyone is happy'. So balancing Caitlin's need for activity and social contact, with Liam and my need for downtime and Millie's need to hang out at each place for long enough to feel comfortable - we can do all of that, if I prioritise our relationships, fun and learning, over sticking to a schedule and meeting external expectations.
Monday, 21 October 2013
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Good-byes
I've been wanting to write this post for over a month now. Its a difficult post to write because its about loss and grief - so I've been putting it off, then whenever I tried to write a more upbeat post it didn't seem as important as this one so nothing has been written for a while.
About 7 weeks ago we let Stripey the kitten outside in the morning, and we haven't seen him since. I didn't notice on that first day that he wasn't around - he was often out for several hours at a time or sleeping somewhere inside or out for many many hours, so it just didn't click that I hadn't seen him at all. That night, and for the next several days, we called and searched everywhere we could think of. I did night time walks around the dam and through the vines, I tried to get Buckley to sniff him out (he had a lovely time chasing rabbits on our night time wanderings) and we looked through all the sheds and in the trees...
I was worried from the moment I realised he was missing and worry soon turned to devastation. The kids were a bit worried but were sure he was coming back. Caitlin and some friends of mine who had had cats disappear then turn up later kept my hopes up for about a week, but I was still grieving pretty hard during that time and for the week or 2 afterwards. Now I feel more of a dull ache when I think about him and what a wonderful kitten he was - one of the best cats I've ever met and it feels so unfair that we had him for such a short time.
Its been interesting to watch the different ways the kids have managed compared to myself. I was in a fog of grief and cried everytime I thought about him. The kids all had a brief moment of tears because they missed him, then went back to assuming that he's off having fun somewhere else and he may come back one day. Well, the girls assume that, Liam started packing his things away after his tears because 'we don't have a cat anymore'.
They do still miss him and will sometimes wish he was here, but they seemed to process their grief more effectively and it hasn't impacted on their lives negatively. One more emotion that they are experiencing among many, rather than the overwhelming way in which I seem to experience grief.
I wonder if this is because they have always been free to express their emotions, both positive and negative, so they are so much more present with how they are feeling and don't feel any need to pretend - so feelings are processed as they occur. As adults I think we can sometimes spend more energy pretending to be fine and so the emotions come out later in other ways and need to keep coming out until they have been fully expressed. I hope that the 3 of them continue to feel comfortable enough with their emotions that they are always able to be present with and true to what they are feeling. And I hope I continue to learn from them how to do the same.
I think that the fact that Stripey is not the first loss they have faced also helped them put it in perspective. They know that animals and people do not live forever and sometimes we find ourselves saying goodbye before we are ready. Since Caitlin was born we have lost animals, (this is the first beloved pet though, the others were goats and chickens - although the loss of our baby chick and her mum was pretty upsetting), family members, unborn babies and of course lived through the loss and devastation of the Black Saturday bushfires in 2009. Sometimes it hurts me to think of how much these kids have taken on in terms of loss and grief - but then I look at how they handle it and it has given them a very real perspective and understanding of death and as it has always been part of their lives they aren't frightened of the idea of people dying. They are not insensitive about it, they still have moments of being very upset about Tony's Mum and Stripey and the babies... but they also talk about them very matter-of-factly and accept the deaths/disappearances as part of their life.
I think that's the key. They don't 'move on' as if these things didn't happen, they seem more to absorb them into their lives, cry about them when they need to, talk about them when they want to, and its now all part of who they are. I know that last year when I really took the time to grieve about my lost baby I processed it so much better than other times when I have tried to pretend I was fine, and now although I am still sad every day that he's not with us, the grief doesn't consume me and I can be around other babies, other pregnancies, and not feel like I'm missing out on something.
I hope I can continue to remember that. That the baby, and Stripey, and the other people we know who have died were an important part of our lives and have enriched us, and we can grieve for them for as long as we need to, without having to become bitter or resentful or depressed, and we can continue to live joyful, content lives even while experiencing grief.
And Caitlin and Millie still talk about Stripey in the present tense and are patiently waiting for him to return. And who knows. They might be right.
About 7 weeks ago we let Stripey the kitten outside in the morning, and we haven't seen him since. I didn't notice on that first day that he wasn't around - he was often out for several hours at a time or sleeping somewhere inside or out for many many hours, so it just didn't click that I hadn't seen him at all. That night, and for the next several days, we called and searched everywhere we could think of. I did night time walks around the dam and through the vines, I tried to get Buckley to sniff him out (he had a lovely time chasing rabbits on our night time wanderings) and we looked through all the sheds and in the trees...
I was worried from the moment I realised he was missing and worry soon turned to devastation. The kids were a bit worried but were sure he was coming back. Caitlin and some friends of mine who had had cats disappear then turn up later kept my hopes up for about a week, but I was still grieving pretty hard during that time and for the week or 2 afterwards. Now I feel more of a dull ache when I think about him and what a wonderful kitten he was - one of the best cats I've ever met and it feels so unfair that we had him for such a short time.
Its been interesting to watch the different ways the kids have managed compared to myself. I was in a fog of grief and cried everytime I thought about him. The kids all had a brief moment of tears because they missed him, then went back to assuming that he's off having fun somewhere else and he may come back one day. Well, the girls assume that, Liam started packing his things away after his tears because 'we don't have a cat anymore'.
They do still miss him and will sometimes wish he was here, but they seemed to process their grief more effectively and it hasn't impacted on their lives negatively. One more emotion that they are experiencing among many, rather than the overwhelming way in which I seem to experience grief.
I wonder if this is because they have always been free to express their emotions, both positive and negative, so they are so much more present with how they are feeling and don't feel any need to pretend - so feelings are processed as they occur. As adults I think we can sometimes spend more energy pretending to be fine and so the emotions come out later in other ways and need to keep coming out until they have been fully expressed. I hope that the 3 of them continue to feel comfortable enough with their emotions that they are always able to be present with and true to what they are feeling. And I hope I continue to learn from them how to do the same.
I think that the fact that Stripey is not the first loss they have faced also helped them put it in perspective. They know that animals and people do not live forever and sometimes we find ourselves saying goodbye before we are ready. Since Caitlin was born we have lost animals, (this is the first beloved pet though, the others were goats and chickens - although the loss of our baby chick and her mum was pretty upsetting), family members, unborn babies and of course lived through the loss and devastation of the Black Saturday bushfires in 2009. Sometimes it hurts me to think of how much these kids have taken on in terms of loss and grief - but then I look at how they handle it and it has given them a very real perspective and understanding of death and as it has always been part of their lives they aren't frightened of the idea of people dying. They are not insensitive about it, they still have moments of being very upset about Tony's Mum and Stripey and the babies... but they also talk about them very matter-of-factly and accept the deaths/disappearances as part of their life.
I think that's the key. They don't 'move on' as if these things didn't happen, they seem more to absorb them into their lives, cry about them when they need to, talk about them when they want to, and its now all part of who they are. I know that last year when I really took the time to grieve about my lost baby I processed it so much better than other times when I have tried to pretend I was fine, and now although I am still sad every day that he's not with us, the grief doesn't consume me and I can be around other babies, other pregnancies, and not feel like I'm missing out on something.
I hope I can continue to remember that. That the baby, and Stripey, and the other people we know who have died were an important part of our lives and have enriched us, and we can grieve for them for as long as we need to, without having to become bitter or resentful or depressed, and we can continue to live joyful, content lives even while experiencing grief.
And Caitlin and Millie still talk about Stripey in the present tense and are patiently waiting for him to return. And who knows. They might be right.
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Wild Nights at Werribee Zoo
These school holidays, Werribee Open Range Zoo were open of a evening (they normally close at 5pm). I'd seen information about it and thought it looked cool, then forgot all about it. On Friday morning my Zoo Membership newsletter had a reminder about it, and I realised if we wanted to do it there were only 2 nights left. I mentioned it to Tony and he was keen to go, and suggested we go along after baseball on Saturday afternoon.
So we met after baseball (around 5.30pm) at a Red Rooster near the Western Ring Road, grabbed some dinner and left Tony's car there, and drove through the rain (finally some rain! Its been many weeks since we've had rain like this) to the Zoo, arriving just before 6.30. I was wondering if there'd be many people there, being a cold wet night and the last night-time session - the carpark was full and we could only find a creative parking spot over on the edge...
The zoo looked quite exciting in the dark, with just enough lights on for us to find our way to the entrance (although Liam and I did both step into a deep, water-filled pothole). Inside was even more exciting, there were lots of glittery lights, and triangle frames with fairy lights wrapped around them (to show the way down the paths) and in some areas there were tin cans with holes punched in them, and lights inside, which gave a speckled look to the light on the ground - it was like walking through a forest in the daytime, with the speckled filtered light coming through the trees.
We sat on wet hay bales in the rain and watched a Fire Show - some quite impressive fire twirling coupled with a lot of gymnastics, entertaining to watch (although a bit scary when one of the sparklers flew out of his hand towards the crowd).
From there we hurried to the cheetah exhibit to see them being fed - there were so many people there by the time we arrived we couldn't see through the glass so tried to see from another vantage point but only got a faint glimpse of them - when we got back to the glass most people had left so we were easily able to see both cheetahs eating, and then one came right up to the glass and walked past us all for a while, he wandered off and came back another 2 times - the kids were face to face with him (he was between Millie and Liam's height so they in particular were looking him right in the eye) and it was completely worth driving all that way just to experience this (especially since the cheetah is one of Liam's favourite animals). They were bigger than I expected, and their tails were long and seemed much firmer than a small cat's tail. One of them had his hackles up on the back of his neck and look quite threatening.
From there we saw some hippos asleep in the water, then went and roasted marshmallows over a fire. All 3 kids are getting quite good at roasting their marshmallows to the level of meltiness and crispness that they each prefer.
We wandered past the African Wild Dogs but they were hiding, then saw one of the lions sitting up in his shelter - then he lay back down again and snuggled up with his brother. The vervet monkeys had gone to bed and we saw a couple of groups of them all huddled together.
The last stop was in one of the African huts where there was flouro light (it felt like being in a nightclub. Kind of) and lots of flouro hoops, plates to balance on sticks, scarves to wave and balls in bags to twirl around. They all looked quite spectacular and we all had a go at everything. Liam's boots looked phosphorescent in the light, it was like he had alien feet. The girls both had a good go with the hula hoops, I had no idea they were so proficient.
When we finally tore ourselves away from there it was time for the zoo to close. We took off wet clothes and snuggled up in the car and drove home listening to 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' on Audio CD.
A very enjoyable spontaneous family night out, even in the rain. I'm exceptionally pleased that we went and will try to make it over there for one of their summer night events in January.
So we met after baseball (around 5.30pm) at a Red Rooster near the Western Ring Road, grabbed some dinner and left Tony's car there, and drove through the rain (finally some rain! Its been many weeks since we've had rain like this) to the Zoo, arriving just before 6.30. I was wondering if there'd be many people there, being a cold wet night and the last night-time session - the carpark was full and we could only find a creative parking spot over on the edge...
The zoo looked quite exciting in the dark, with just enough lights on for us to find our way to the entrance (although Liam and I did both step into a deep, water-filled pothole). Inside was even more exciting, there were lots of glittery lights, and triangle frames with fairy lights wrapped around them (to show the way down the paths) and in some areas there were tin cans with holes punched in them, and lights inside, which gave a speckled look to the light on the ground - it was like walking through a forest in the daytime, with the speckled filtered light coming through the trees.
We sat on wet hay bales in the rain and watched a Fire Show - some quite impressive fire twirling coupled with a lot of gymnastics, entertaining to watch (although a bit scary when one of the sparklers flew out of his hand towards the crowd).
From there we hurried to the cheetah exhibit to see them being fed - there were so many people there by the time we arrived we couldn't see through the glass so tried to see from another vantage point but only got a faint glimpse of them - when we got back to the glass most people had left so we were easily able to see both cheetahs eating, and then one came right up to the glass and walked past us all for a while, he wandered off and came back another 2 times - the kids were face to face with him (he was between Millie and Liam's height so they in particular were looking him right in the eye) and it was completely worth driving all that way just to experience this (especially since the cheetah is one of Liam's favourite animals). They were bigger than I expected, and their tails were long and seemed much firmer than a small cat's tail. One of them had his hackles up on the back of his neck and look quite threatening.
From there we saw some hippos asleep in the water, then went and roasted marshmallows over a fire. All 3 kids are getting quite good at roasting their marshmallows to the level of meltiness and crispness that they each prefer.
We wandered past the African Wild Dogs but they were hiding, then saw one of the lions sitting up in his shelter - then he lay back down again and snuggled up with his brother. The vervet monkeys had gone to bed and we saw a couple of groups of them all huddled together.
The last stop was in one of the African huts where there was flouro light (it felt like being in a nightclub. Kind of) and lots of flouro hoops, plates to balance on sticks, scarves to wave and balls in bags to twirl around. They all looked quite spectacular and we all had a go at everything. Liam's boots looked phosphorescent in the light, it was like he had alien feet. The girls both had a good go with the hula hoops, I had no idea they were so proficient.
When we finally tore ourselves away from there it was time for the zoo to close. We took off wet clothes and snuggled up in the car and drove home listening to 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' on Audio CD.
A very enjoyable spontaneous family night out, even in the rain. I'm exceptionally pleased that we went and will try to make it over there for one of their summer night events in January.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Birthday Party Week
We've been home from Tasmania just over a week now and its been a rather busy week - although on the whole we're all still quite relaxed from our holiday.
We arrived home early on the Friday morning before Liam's birthday, which was on the Sunday. Friday we spent relaxing, unpacking a bit, and some friends came over for the afternoon and brought Stripey back. Saturday I spent fixing the washing machine and dishwasher which had both decided to have their own holiday, and then getting organised for Liam's party.
Sunday we woke up and did Liam's present giving in the lounge room. Caitlin gave him a wooden cat (to match Millie's) and a ceramic dragon. Tony and I gave him a Tasmanian Devil puzzle, a toy lemur (not Schleich, but a similar brand) and an iPod Touch - exactly what he wanted. I'd loaded his favourite games on it so he was entertained for the morning while we finished party preparations.
At midday we met his friends at Healesville Sanctuary, as well as Fi and James and Mum and Dad. Everyone had a picnic lunch, then I put out party food and the kids played in a large grassed area near the dingo enclosure. We played Pass the Parcel (Tony and I played the drums for music) and Liam (without us looking) won the main prize so he was pretty happy. Liam's presents included lego, a craft kit, a magician figurine, animal books, a vial of gold, and a Schleich dinosaur (velociraptor).
Eventually we packed up and went for a walk around part of the Sanctuary - we had 13 adults and 13 children there so we were quite a group. We did the wetland walk, the lyrebirds (a couple of us saw the male lyrebird singing), the reptiles and the parrots. We'd invited everyone back to our house because Liam had a piñata waiting - most of his friends came back (actually all our homeschooling friends). The kids played outside for a while then the piñata called - it was shaped like a crocodile and very cool. The tail soon came off and everyone was able to whack it and get a few lollies - and the rest of the body survived so Liam was able to keep it! Everyone stayed and played for a few hours and one the guests provided some dinner so it was a very relaxing afternoon and evening.
We were back into our usual routine through the week, with ABA, gymnastics, joey scouts, homeschool gymnastics and guides to go along to. In between Liam did a lot of the craft from his birthday kit, we watched tv and read a lot of books, played games, played with the animals (real and toy and imaginary), went to the library a couple of times and went to friends' houses.
On Friday we had Millie's birthday party. It was almost exactly the same group of people as we'd had here on Sunday - Fi and James couldn't make it and we had one other local family come along - otherwise it was Mum and Dad and 4 other homeschooling families. It was a very casual party, the kids (aged from 2 to 10 and an even mix of boys and girls) played inside and outside, with lego, craft, toys animals, on the trampoline and swings, listening to music, looking for our real animals in the yard etc. We had a beautiful cake and Millie's presents included art and craft supplies, a game, books and a felt board with a pet shop scene. Tony had finished work early, it being a Friday, so he was able to be here for most of it. A few of the families stayed for dinner and by this stage some of the kids were playing Minecraft on the computer and they kept us up to date with their new discoveries - playing as a social group they can explore and discover much more quickly than on their own, they really work well together.
In the midst of the evening part of the party Tony took Liam to Chirnside Park for him to go to the movies with his Joey Scout group - they saw Monsters University and Liam was very excited to go without any other family members, and to be able to buy his own snack to eat and drink there. There were still people here when he got back so he also didn't feel like he'd missed out on the party.
The other mothers (and one dad for a while) and I had a great chat sitting in the kitchen, it was a very easy party to get ready for and a very relaxing one while it was taking place.
Yesterday we had a visit from Pete and Cynthia who are staying at Mum and Dad's for the weekend - great to see them and Liam was thrilled because he'd wanted his uncle Pete to come to his birthday party but we'd left it too late to organise. They'd just visited the chocolate factory and came with gifts - giant chocolate freckles for the kids and a chocolate making kit and fondue set for the family. The kids enjoyed showing Pete all their lego (he was the first one to buy us any lego so he kind of has a vested interest) and the animals and their tree climbing skills, and I loved having a casual chat - we haven't had many opportunities to just visit each other over the last 20 years or so - hopefully we can do it more often.
Today Caitlin is going to an archery day with guides, and we have some friends coming over this afternoon while their mother has something else on. So another social day coming up and looks like this coming week will be quite busy as well - although its the last week of term so then there will be a change in our rhythm for a couple of weeks after that.
We arrived home early on the Friday morning before Liam's birthday, which was on the Sunday. Friday we spent relaxing, unpacking a bit, and some friends came over for the afternoon and brought Stripey back. Saturday I spent fixing the washing machine and dishwasher which had both decided to have their own holiday, and then getting organised for Liam's party.
Sunday we woke up and did Liam's present giving in the lounge room. Caitlin gave him a wooden cat (to match Millie's) and a ceramic dragon. Tony and I gave him a Tasmanian Devil puzzle, a toy lemur (not Schleich, but a similar brand) and an iPod Touch - exactly what he wanted. I'd loaded his favourite games on it so he was entertained for the morning while we finished party preparations.
 |
| Liam and his Lemur |
 |
| Liam and his iPod |
 |
| Liam's birthday cake |
Eventually we packed up and went for a walk around part of the Sanctuary - we had 13 adults and 13 children there so we were quite a group. We did the wetland walk, the lyrebirds (a couple of us saw the male lyrebird singing), the reptiles and the parrots. We'd invited everyone back to our house because Liam had a piñata waiting - most of his friends came back (actually all our homeschooling friends). The kids played outside for a while then the piñata called - it was shaped like a crocodile and very cool. The tail soon came off and everyone was able to whack it and get a few lollies - and the rest of the body survived so Liam was able to keep it! Everyone stayed and played for a few hours and one the guests provided some dinner so it was a very relaxing afternoon and evening.
 |
| Liam's turn |
 |
| Liam and the piñata |
We were back into our usual routine through the week, with ABA, gymnastics, joey scouts, homeschool gymnastics and guides to go along to. In between Liam did a lot of the craft from his birthday kit, we watched tv and read a lot of books, played games, played with the animals (real and toy and imaginary), went to the library a couple of times and went to friends' houses.
On Friday we had Millie's birthday party. It was almost exactly the same group of people as we'd had here on Sunday - Fi and James couldn't make it and we had one other local family come along - otherwise it was Mum and Dad and 4 other homeschooling families. It was a very casual party, the kids (aged from 2 to 10 and an even mix of boys and girls) played inside and outside, with lego, craft, toys animals, on the trampoline and swings, listening to music, looking for our real animals in the yard etc. We had a beautiful cake and Millie's presents included art and craft supplies, a game, books and a felt board with a pet shop scene. Tony had finished work early, it being a Friday, so he was able to be here for most of it. A few of the families stayed for dinner and by this stage some of the kids were playing Minecraft on the computer and they kept us up to date with their new discoveries - playing as a social group they can explore and discover much more quickly than on their own, they really work well together.
In the midst of the evening part of the party Tony took Liam to Chirnside Park for him to go to the movies with his Joey Scout group - they saw Monsters University and Liam was very excited to go without any other family members, and to be able to buy his own snack to eat and drink there. There were still people here when he got back so he also didn't feel like he'd missed out on the party.
The other mothers (and one dad for a while) and I had a great chat sitting in the kitchen, it was a very easy party to get ready for and a very relaxing one while it was taking place.
Yesterday we had a visit from Pete and Cynthia who are staying at Mum and Dad's for the weekend - great to see them and Liam was thrilled because he'd wanted his uncle Pete to come to his birthday party but we'd left it too late to organise. They'd just visited the chocolate factory and came with gifts - giant chocolate freckles for the kids and a chocolate making kit and fondue set for the family. The kids enjoyed showing Pete all their lego (he was the first one to buy us any lego so he kind of has a vested interest) and the animals and their tree climbing skills, and I loved having a casual chat - we haven't had many opportunities to just visit each other over the last 20 years or so - hopefully we can do it more often.
Today Caitlin is going to an archery day with guides, and we have some friends coming over this afternoon while their mother has something else on. So another social day coming up and looks like this coming week will be quite busy as well - although its the last week of term so then there will be a change in our rhythm for a couple of weeks after that.
 |
| The view out my window this morning as I wrote this blog post on a chilly morning of -5 C |
Saturday, 1 June 2013
Tasmania!!!!
I've been very busy this week getting ready for our trip to Tasmania, so I haven't had a lot of time for blogging. We leave in just over an hour and there's still a bit to do - having a quick breather now then I'll get back into it.
You can follow our travelling adventures at travellingandexploringourworld.blogspot.com.au, I'm hoping the kids will contribute their impressions of our days as well
You can follow our travelling adventures at travellingandexploringourworld.blogspot.com.au, I'm hoping the kids will contribute their impressions of our days as well
Sunday, 26 May 2013
Climbing Trees
There has been a lot of tree climbing happening for us lately. Well, not for me so much, I prefer to stay on the ground, but the kids have been climbing and I've been watching, helping, discussing, taking photos and generally been involved in the activity while not actually taking part in the bit that involves heights.
There's been wonderful fig trees to climb at the Botanic Gardens and at Collingwood Childrens Farm.
We watched Stripey go up an oak tree and then walk across a beautiful horizontal branch to end up on top of the chicken shed, so Liam tried it and has found a wonderful place to hang out and be alone. There were trees to explore in the bush near our tent at the Eco Festival in Yarra Junction.
Yesterday while I was pushing each of the kids in turn on our big swing, the others climbed the tree that the swing is hung from. Stripey went up as well, then Buckley came to the bottom and barked incessantly at him (he was so intent on barking at the cat that he wasn't interested in chasing his ball - those of you who know Buckley know how hard it is to distract him from ball chasing, so this cat-up-a-tree business was obviously extremely engaging). Anyway, Caitlin was worried that Stripey wouldn't be able to get down, so decided to go up after him. She tried to follow him the way he went, but the branches were a bit steep. So she came down and went up one of the smaller trees underneath the big one, and was nearly able to pull herself up onto a big branch. Liam tried it as well but found the distances between small tree and big branch a bit much. Caitlin ended up with a lot of scratches but seemed to have a lot of fun.
In the Botanic Gardens last week Caitlin pushed herself quite hard and climbed out on some very long branches with challenging forks in them. She said she was stuck a few times, and it can seem that she's scared - but I think really she's just not sure which way to go next/where to put her hands and feet in order to keep moving. She stops and asks for help, and can seem to resist suggestions for a little while, but she processes it all, listens and thinks and looks, and then she's able to move on. When she really gets scared she stops and comes back down.
Its been interesting to watch my reactions to each of the three of them climbing, and also the different ways that they react to tricky bits or when they reach their limit. They are all quite adept at recognising their limits, and while Caitlin's limits are WAY beyond where I would be comfortable myself, I know that she will stop and calm down before trying to come back down, and also that she can be talked through it if she does get stuck or too scared. Liam's limits are more within my own comfort range, and he likes to have help to navigate back if he's become scared. Often just putting my hand on his body somewhere, or even standing right underneath him, is enough to calm him down and he'll be able to get back. Millie's limits are, I think, way beyond Caitlin's. She's normally stopped by physical limitations way before she gets scared. I'm a bit more nervous watching her, simply because I don't know if I'd be able to talk her down, she often wants physical help when she gets stuck/scared - and often that happens at a point where I'd be too scared to go myself.
A couple of weeks ago the kids were climbing up an irresistable wall that looked a lot like a ladder. We were with some friends and all the children were climbing as high as they felt comfortable. Millie went right to the top, then headed out across the roof part, which was constructed in the same way. As soon as she started to go across, my anxiety levels sky-rocketed - not because I was worried that she would fall (I was confident she wouldn't) but because if she got scared or stuck, I didn't know if I would be be able to talk her down, and I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to go up there and get her down... Luckily one of my friends who was there is quite a good climber and quite comfortable with heights, so I asked her to look after Millie and I wandered away a little bit and watched from a distance. L was able to talk her through climbing most of the way across the roof and then turning around and coming back, and she had a wonderful time. L said that Millie was fine as long as they maintained eye-contact, so maybe that's something I can use next time.
In the past I used to not want to help them get up tricky bits in the tree - I would say something like 'If you can't get up yourself then you won't be able to get down' - which is something I heard myself as a child and have heard other adults say. Now I think about it very differently - often the first bit of the tree is quite high, with wonderful, more easily accessible branches once you get past that first bit. Its not fair to stop the smaller children climbing in that part, just because they can't get up the first step. And if I'm there to help them up, then I can be there to help them down as well. So I've given lots of legs up and lifted people down from branches and trunks and I'm looking forward to exploring many many more trees in our adventures together.
There's been wonderful fig trees to climb at the Botanic Gardens and at Collingwood Childrens Farm.
In the Botanic Gardens last week Caitlin pushed herself quite hard and climbed out on some very long branches with challenging forks in them. She said she was stuck a few times, and it can seem that she's scared - but I think really she's just not sure which way to go next/where to put her hands and feet in order to keep moving. She stops and asks for help, and can seem to resist suggestions for a little while, but she processes it all, listens and thinks and looks, and then she's able to move on. When she really gets scared she stops and comes back down.
Its been interesting to watch my reactions to each of the three of them climbing, and also the different ways that they react to tricky bits or when they reach their limit. They are all quite adept at recognising their limits, and while Caitlin's limits are WAY beyond where I would be comfortable myself, I know that she will stop and calm down before trying to come back down, and also that she can be talked through it if she does get stuck or too scared. Liam's limits are more within my own comfort range, and he likes to have help to navigate back if he's become scared. Often just putting my hand on his body somewhere, or even standing right underneath him, is enough to calm him down and he'll be able to get back. Millie's limits are, I think, way beyond Caitlin's. She's normally stopped by physical limitations way before she gets scared. I'm a bit more nervous watching her, simply because I don't know if I'd be able to talk her down, she often wants physical help when she gets stuck/scared - and often that happens at a point where I'd be too scared to go myself.
A couple of weeks ago the kids were climbing up an irresistable wall that looked a lot like a ladder. We were with some friends and all the children were climbing as high as they felt comfortable. Millie went right to the top, then headed out across the roof part, which was constructed in the same way. As soon as she started to go across, my anxiety levels sky-rocketed - not because I was worried that she would fall (I was confident she wouldn't) but because if she got scared or stuck, I didn't know if I would be be able to talk her down, and I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to go up there and get her down... Luckily one of my friends who was there is quite a good climber and quite comfortable with heights, so I asked her to look after Millie and I wandered away a little bit and watched from a distance. L was able to talk her through climbing most of the way across the roof and then turning around and coming back, and she had a wonderful time. L said that Millie was fine as long as they maintained eye-contact, so maybe that's something I can use next time.
In the past I used to not want to help them get up tricky bits in the tree - I would say something like 'If you can't get up yourself then you won't be able to get down' - which is something I heard myself as a child and have heard other adults say. Now I think about it very differently - often the first bit of the tree is quite high, with wonderful, more easily accessible branches once you get past that first bit. Its not fair to stop the smaller children climbing in that part, just because they can't get up the first step. And if I'm there to help them up, then I can be there to help them down as well. So I've given lots of legs up and lifted people down from branches and trunks and I'm looking forward to exploring many many more trees in our adventures together.
Saturday, 25 May 2013
2 months in one quick summary
Its been a while since I posted - we've had very slow internet combined with a very slow, about to die laptop and internet time was very limited. Now however we have a Macbook, the internet is back to - well, not fast, but less slow - so blog posts and other non-essential internet use can happen again.
So a bit of a summary of what we've been up to over the last couple of months
- a day at Collingwood Childrens Farm - the kids got to milk a cow, we saw some gorgeous week old piglets (I could have watched them all day), Liam took to the microphone and led a group in singing Baa Baa Black Sheep at the book launch of Alanah Campbell's 'Under the Persimmon Tree', there was a tractor ride and lots of tree climbing, and Fi and James joined us for a while
- an afternoon at Healesville Sanctuary with some friends
- lots of mornings, afternoons, days and even sleepovers at friends' houses
- activities at homeschool group in Yarra Glen and Yarra Junction
- exploring Op Shops
- a train ride to the city and hanging out in the Botanic Gardens with friends (and more tree climbing)
- watching the vineyard slowly turn yellow and then the leaves all falling off - they are nearly completely gone now
- playing with Stripey (the cat) and Buckley (the dog)
- Guides, Scouts and Gymnastics
- returning to ABA meetings
- having Tony around a lot again after the end of Vintage
- playing the piano, recorder and violin - oh, and buying a violin for Caitlin at the Healesville Markets
- busking in Healesville and Yarra Glen - Caitlin playing the recorder, and Liam occasionally whistling or playing the drums in accompaniment
- playing Minecraft lots - individually and connected on the ipad, and now on the new computer as well
- playing lots of other ipad games
- lots of lego
- horse riding
- trip to Maroondah Dam
- reading books of all descriptions
- drawing and writing and inventing
- a day at an Eco-festival in Yarra Junction - I was helping at an ABA Feed and Change Tent, and the kids helped there as well as going on donkey rides, doing wet felting, playing hopscotch, hanging out in the women's Red Tent, tree climbing, exploring the forest, trying to buy a guinea pig, eating ice cream etc
- trips to the library
- watching movies
- birthday parties - including a wonderful day at the Yarra Valley Chocolaterie for my birthday - we were there from 11-5 and lots of friends and family joined us at different points through the day, we sat in the sun and ate chocolate and ice creams and other food and drank milkshakes and the kids played in the grounds and it was a beautiful day all round
- -conversations about all of the above
- puzzles, board games, card games
- magic tricks
- and LOTS more
If you want to know more about any of our activities, let me know in the comments and I will expand
So a bit of a summary of what we've been up to over the last couple of months
- a day at Collingwood Childrens Farm - the kids got to milk a cow, we saw some gorgeous week old piglets (I could have watched them all day), Liam took to the microphone and led a group in singing Baa Baa Black Sheep at the book launch of Alanah Campbell's 'Under the Persimmon Tree', there was a tractor ride and lots of tree climbing, and Fi and James joined us for a while
- lots of mornings, afternoons, days and even sleepovers at friends' houses
- activities at homeschool group in Yarra Glen and Yarra Junction
- exploring Op Shops
- a train ride to the city and hanging out in the Botanic Gardens with friends (and more tree climbing)
- watching the vineyard slowly turn yellow and then the leaves all falling off - they are nearly completely gone now
- playing with Stripey (the cat) and Buckley (the dog)
- Guides, Scouts and Gymnastics
- returning to ABA meetings
- having Tony around a lot again after the end of Vintage
- playing the piano, recorder and violin - oh, and buying a violin for Caitlin at the Healesville Markets
- busking in Healesville and Yarra Glen - Caitlin playing the recorder, and Liam occasionally whistling or playing the drums in accompaniment
- playing Minecraft lots - individually and connected on the ipad, and now on the new computer as well
- playing lots of other ipad games
- lots of lego
- horse riding
- trip to Maroondah Dam
- reading books of all descriptions
- drawing and writing and inventing
- a day at an Eco-festival in Yarra Junction - I was helping at an ABA Feed and Change Tent, and the kids helped there as well as going on donkey rides, doing wet felting, playing hopscotch, hanging out in the women's Red Tent, tree climbing, exploring the forest, trying to buy a guinea pig, eating ice cream etc
- trips to the library
- watching movies
- birthday parties - including a wonderful day at the Yarra Valley Chocolaterie for my birthday - we were there from 11-5 and lots of friends and family joined us at different points through the day, we sat in the sun and ate chocolate and ice creams and other food and drank milkshakes and the kids played in the grounds and it was a beautiful day all round
- -conversations about all of the above
- puzzles, board games, card games
- magic tricks
- and LOTS more
If you want to know more about any of our activities, let me know in the comments and I will expand
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)