Happy

Life is good at the moment.

I've been feeling that for a couple of weeks now, as an undercurrent to everything else is going on and it's a great feeling. There are moments where I just feel completely happy and content with the way our life is going, and that feeling is staying as a base of happiness even when other stuff is going wrong in the moment (which makes it easier to recover from the lower moments).

I think I've managed to get back to a place where I am living true to my principles and beliefs and making positive choices, so that even when things aren't perfect I can accept that and keep making choices that head us in the direction we want to go, and life still feels good.

I've also started doing karate with the kids on on a Thursday night - and I LOVE it. I spend the whole 75 minutes just feeling so happy and excited to be there. It's not as hard as I thought it would be and I'm learning more and more each week - it's something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember, but I thought I wouldn't be coordinated enough or be able to remember all the moves or it wasn't a suitable activity for a someone like me (what would people think?!).... lots and lots of excuses have helped me put it off over the years, and I'm so glad that I was able to push through all of that and give it a go. And apart from the self-esteem boost of being able to do it and the joy of doing something really fun, the physical exercise part is feeling physically amazing. I'm pleased too that all the yoga I've done over the past several years has helped with flexibility and fitness so some of the moves and stances are quite easy for my body rather than being brand new.

Caitlin is attending Victorian Youth Theatre classes on a Friday night - out of all the activities she's tried, this one feels like absolutely the right fit. She does 2 consecutive classes so she's there for 3 hours. The venue is in Croydon, about half an hours drive from here, so I usually drop her off and then go and do something by myself for the time she's there - a few times now I have gone swimming at Croydon Leisure Centre - it's been amazing to be back in the water swimming laps. The first week I did 10 (25m) laps and nearly fell over when I stopped, the second week I was able to do 20..... I love how quickly my body can fall back into swimming even after a long break. If I can do laps every couple of weeks or even a few times a term I think my physical and mental wellbeing will be boosted immensely. After swimming I normally do some grocery shopping - I like that there's kind of an allocated time now for me to get that done (and I have a choice of supermarkets in the area so I can vary where I go like I always have) rather than trying to fit it in around all our other activities.

We now have very few daytime commitments which I like, and hardly anything in the mornings, so we can have our slow, easy mornings at home and then head out in the afternoons if necessary. Caitlin has dancing on Monday evenings, the girls have Guides on Wednesday afternoons (Millie goes sometimes, when she feels willing to tie her hair back and wear shoes, and especially if they are doing something exciting like roasting marshmallows), Caitlin, Liam and I have karate on Thursday evenings, Caitlin has school on Friday and the rest of us go to L's house for her kids and mine to play all day (and for she and I to chat, or go out without kids if we have something on), and then Caitlin's Youth Theatre on Friday evening. We also have Homeschool Group in Yarra Glen fortnightly on a Thursday afternoon, and a couple of other monthly homeschool things that we sometimes go to. We do Toy Library duty a few times a term. Oh and while the girls (or just Caitlin) are at Guides, the rest of us go to the library and park in Yarra Glen. So I feel like we've got a lot on but it's at a manageable level and mainly at times that work for our family. The evening stuff is great because (except during vintage) whoever doesn't want to come along can stay at home with one parent.

I feel like I'm doing a much better job of meeting the kids where they are at and focussing on what they want to do at a particular time, offering more opportunities for fun activities at home and stopping whatever I'm doing when they ask me to come and play with them. I guess I'm feeling more focussed and determined to stay true to my priorities - the relationship with my kids and Tony being number one, and providing enriching, interesting and relevant learning opportunities for us all is next.

This last week we've all been quite sick, with a fluey/chest infection type thing. It's been pretty nasty, and everyone has had it (LiAM was last to come down with it, yesterday afternoon). There's been plenty of moments where I have felt exhausted and anxious and quite low - but when I think about it, I know that this is just passing, and underneath I have still felt happy and content with our current life.