Make Believe Story Games

Lately Millie has been playing her make believe games a lot, many many times a day. The lego game she started a couple of weeks ago has developed into a complex story with lots of side plots and many changes to the main story line every day. She loves to have people play with her and we've all spent many hours playing over the past couple of weeks. I admit I don't find this type of game very easy - I get distracted quite easily, and I'm not very creative at making up the dialogue of my characters or keeping track of what everyone is supposed to be doing. If I was to choose a make believe game I'd prefer to be acting out the characters ourselves, rather than using lego or toy animals to be the characters, moving them around and making them talk, but even with the acting out games I'm not very comfortable. So I've found this game quite challenging. However I have tried to say yes every time she's asked me to play, and occasionally I've even offered to play when she wasn't asking.

At the moment this type of play, and this game, is obviously quite important to her, and I'm happy to be involved in (and want to be involved in) things that are of value to my kids at any given time. She enjoys the connection that we have when we are playing, and it is going to be much more valuable to her if we have that connection while doing something she wants to do, rather than me convincing her to join me at something I want to do (my game choice would be a board or card game, or a puzzle, or building something. Something more concrete...). I love listening to her making up the story and rejecting or changing ideas as she goes, and keeping track of who all the characters are and what they are doing. She will accept new ideas from other people sometimes, or say no if they don't fit with her idea of where the story is going. She becomes completely immersed in it at times and is really talented at setting up the story and developing her characters. Just being with her while she is having so much fun and doing amazing things is worth it even if I am not enjoying playing the game myself - I can concentrate on being with her and watching her, and then the playing bit can happen without me thinking too much about it and I no longer feel so self-conscious or uncomfortable.

I often find that after I've been playing with her for a little while, one or both of the other kids will join in as well. After another little while, they will tend to take over my characters (because they are both good at this sort of play as well and they all get a little frustrated with me when I can't keep up with the story) and there will usually be an opportunity for me to move away and do something else, without anyone being upset that I am leaving. Sometimes I can incorporate what I'm doing (cooking, cleaning, playing the piano, tidying up) into the game as well, I can be contributing something without needing to sit on the floor and move the figures around.

The more I play with Millie like this the calmer she is. She has seemed to strongly need the connection lately and there were a few days when we played this game nearly all day. The last couple of days she's still playing but for shorter periods and less often. The game has moved on a bit too from using the figures to her sometimes being a seal and me trying to find her. It's been a great reminder to me that saying yes as often as I can and meeting the kids where they are can be beneficial to all of us. It deepens our connection, it shows that I value what is important to them, and it can meet other underlying needs and help everyone be calmer. Millie is playing by herself a lot more over the last couple of days, or asking for books to be read or to do other activities together (we've done puzzles and some great drawing) - so that is also good to remember - sometimes it feels like an interest will last forever, I had moments of thinking I'd be sitting on the floor playing lego stories every day this year - but interests peak and flow, and immersing myself in the kids interests as much as I can when they are peaking will always be an investment that will pay off - they will feel valued and know that their needs and wants are important, and they are able to move between interests without leaving one feeling that they didn't quite receive their fill.